My spiritual
Journey 6-30-19, revised 10-19-19
A few months ago, I wrote on my blog
that I was not calling myself spiritual anymore, this was due to the fact, that
I would attend these groups and not allow to ask questions. I understand that
there was a spiritual world and the world is full of energy and everything
vibrated at different levels. Therefore, this why some people can see things
and others deny that it exists or just play it off that something is not there.
The following is what happens to me before and after realizing that there is
more to this reality than meets the eye. I have done research into many books,
teachers and video’s trying to understand what I see and why I see it, what it
is or why it happens:
The following is over 49 years of
experiences. I will try to put them in putting them in some type of order but
because they're so many I can only write them as remember them or as I started
writing them down.
1. I was a
young girl and I was ill with maybe the flu. I don’t remember exactly. I know
that I shared a room with sister, and we happen to be very young. I remember my
Great Grandmother Anna coming to me. At the time I did not know who she was but
that I had turned over in my bed and there she was. I don’t remember what she
said, only she seems to comfort me. It was not until many years later that I
even found out her name or who she was.
2. Did you
ever walk to school or around your neighborhood? And there is always one house
or home that didn’t quite look the same as the others. It was not because it
was different, but it seems to have a darkness to it. Or it was home that you
really did not like to walk by or even go up too. If you have a child or
grandchildren, you most likely still do it today. You don’t go up to houses
that feel off. This applied to animals, too. Children have a keen sense when
something is off about a person, animals or a place like the food store.
Children will hide behind whomever they are with. I could tell you every house
on my street that had illness or divorce, or rather the house told
me. There would be a darkness around the house or heaviness to it.
3. One time I
told my Mom that that house next door they were going to get a divorce and
move. That house is surrounded in heaviness and to this day, three couples have
lived there since I live there and move out. Only one of the couples stayed
married and I believe it is because they moved out of that house. I only know
this because my mother was friends with on couple that she knew from from
school. My Mom told me to never speak of it, but I know that she never
confirmed or denied it, that if the couple had stay in that house their
relationship would have ended. I did understand why at the time why she never
said not to speak of it. Looking back maybe it because she was afraid or that I
was speaking out terms. The world has not treated people who see or hear things
with the utmost respect.
4. There were
numerous times that I would be in the car driving to my grandmother home and I
would see people on the side road. One time I asked my Mom why and she indicated
that she did not see anyone. I could not understand, the man was standing not
6ft off to the side of the car window. I happen to be the only one that saw
him.
5. Another
time on this same road I saw an overturned car in the water, it was a white or
yellow Volkswagen Beetle. No one saw that either. This area was wooden part of
the road with woods on one either side and the Neshaminy Creek on the other
side. There were no homes or buildings along this part of the road.
6. When I
bigger but not a teenager my sister would these terrible nightmares and wake me
up. It was always the same, someone or something was taking her blanket of bed,
this went on for years after. I never had this happen to me, but she would fall
back to sleep, and I never physically saw anyone. It seems to happen
a few times per week and I don’t know whether it ever stopped, or I just slept
through it. One thing I did when I was young always move around the my bedroom,
not for cleaning purposes. I think back now and maybe it was my way of moving
energy around. I still do it today in my own home and other places that I lived
in.
7. I remember
that we had a cat, why I don’t know. But I knew or had a dream that that cat
was going to die. I think I saw it before it happened. Then when it did happen,
I was not be surprised because I had seen it in a dream or vision.
8. I never
put two and two together. It was not spoken of in our house or anywhere else
that I remember. There was a time that our family had gone to a campground and
I had gone swimming and somehow, I had swam under the rope that defines the
drop in the pool. I somehow had gotten disoriented and ended up on the other
side of the rope. I remember seeing a light or maybe it was the sun coming
down, but I think I could have downed that day, if were not for the light that
I saw. I don’t remember whether someone pulled me from the pool, or I made it
out by myself.
9. Another
strange fact is that I asked my Mom about my birth, she cannot tell me the
actual time or anything prior to my birth or even what type of temperament I
had prior to walking. She only remembers that I never really crawled that I
walked around nine months and that seems strange to me, that as a parent, you
remember when your children walk, talk and what they did. If they liked certain
food and what they did not or did like. My life is a mystery to myself even
today.
10. I
know that as you get older you tend to forget things and not remember
everything, but I seem to have more missing memories then ones that I can
remember. I have even had my own children say Mom you remember this movie or
the time we etc. and I will respond that I have no idea what they are saying or
talking about. That like I was not even present, it's a scary thoughts to have
missing time or memories.
11. My
parents use to go camping I had a friend that I had been friends with for
years, she wanted to start hanging with these other girls and I had a bad
feeling about it, but I did not know why. Shortly thereafter we stopped being
friends – There is something to be said about the company that you keep they
either inspire you or support you, and not when you travel down a wrong path,
or path that there is a lesson involved.
12. There was
another time that I had climb a tree – I was kind of a tomboy, I had climbed
this pine tree that near a pond at this same campground. I had to be 15-20 feet
in the tree and fell out of it. I don’t remember how but I remember on the way
to the ground or once I was over the shock of falling that I saw that I could
have died or even ended up in a wheelchair. For just moment it was flash of a
story. Then I realized that I not been seriously hurt or as if it did not
really happen. I walked away with only cuts and bruises to myself and maybe my
ego for climbing the tree. I never climbed another tree since that day.
13. When
I was a teenager – I either stopped getting dreams or images, but the never
completely went away. I would know when people were upset or not telling the
truth, or when I was in school they would teach us something or go over
something about history and I knew that parts of it was wrong or written
incorrectly.
14. I
always feel like the outsider looking in and could not understand why. I was
taught to not speak of what I saw or much less talk about. I just figured
everyone was told not to talk about seeing and knowing and that is why I
was not allow to say anything. Like some unwritten law of some sorts.
15. In
6th grade I had a terrible teacher is the beginning of the year. She was mean
and came from a Catholic school and even threaten to slap our fingers with a
ruler on the first day of school. I remember either getting a dream or just
knowing that she was not going to with us long. One day I came to school and we
had a sub. Here the teacher that we were supposed to have fallen and broken
both are wrists the third day of school. That sub who replaced her for all the
rest of the school year was one of the best teachers that I have had, and I
even made a cake and poster for her because without her, we or I would have
suffered for entire year with a crazy ass teacher – who thought she is running
a Nazi camp and not a public classroom. This was the 70’s.
16. By
High school, I was experiencing what I believe is astral projecting. I would
come from school and nap before I went to work. I would lie down and see myself
above my body or the entire room with my eyes closed. It was if I am floating
above my body. School was exhausting – parents and people don’t
realize that energy that put out and being large crowds of people is like
standing in front of a speaker all day or every day and expecting to function
as a person. High school is like the real world, people trying to fit in, figure
out who you are among all your peers. Just imagine walking through every
emotion that there is in the world. Picking up who fake or lying or comes from
a bad home or neglected home. Who is spoiled rotten and constantly being
judged. I had so many titles at school by people who knew nothing about me or
my life. I can remember refusing to pledge in the morning by not putting my
hand on my heart. It was not because I was being disrespectful, it was because
I had to say, “one nation under God”, I thought it was dumb. God is not under
any nation or religion. Then I end up in the principle office because would not
be steeped into conforming. My entire ancestry has linked to wars or
the armed services. I can respect them and not say that God is only one nation.
17. One
time I had been dating or see this guy and he took me to his house. And I got a
bad feeling, and something was off. I knew from that day on that I should stop
seeing him. Later, one of my friends started dating him and I tried to tell her
that he was not who she thought he was. She told me I jealous because he liked
her over me. That day was the last time that we spoke or even maybe close
friends. Sometimes lessons have to be learned the hard way, but sometimes not.
Sometimes we disregard what someone said to us because we don't want to hear
the truth. It is sad but we learn to distrust over trusting well before
trusting whether someone is telling us the truth.
18. The
following I never say to anyone, I had a dream that someone was pregnant and
that there was something wrong with the baby and it involved a helicopter and
that she would lose the baby and the baby would only live for less than a day.
(I never understand why I saw this and to this day have carried it with me for
23 years.) This did happen and learned that not everything that I see is for me
to speak about. Which is a heavy burden to carry!
19. In
my early twenty, I experience a strange detour as I call it. I had been
inviting to go water skiing and as drove to meet up with everyone I end getting
detour after detour, I still don't why. Other then I was not supposed to be
there for some reason. I had a rough idea where I was going and that it was not
more than half hours’ drive from my home. It seemed that day no matter what
road I traveled I was not meant to be there. I must have driven in circles for
two hours and finally just had to give up. I apparently was not supposed to
go.
20. I
learned over the years that we truly don’t listen to the inter-guided system.
We learn to tune it out or not pay attention to a dream or what we say or who
says it too, us. I had to learn to really listen to get quiet enough to
determine what I am hearing and seeing, or even smelling. I have learned that I
have all the clairsentients. Some of mine are better and stronger than others
and that we all can and do have these abilities and even more.
21. I worked
for one company one time and I said that something to my boss and he said
to me “what did you just say”. One of the women that I worked for was missing a
lot of work and I would get called in for coverage. I said to him that she was
having money and family issued because she was spending more than she made. I
had no idea what or even why I said or whether it was true. I also would smell
alcohol all the time and could not understand why. Here the woman is question
resigned because of family situations and money issues and one of the men in
the office was a functional alcoholic and kept liquor in his desk all the time.
I later realized that there were multiple people working there that were
functional alcoholics.
22. Growing up
I only knew one healer that was my Uncle Joe, he was not my real Uncle but
was a friend of the family. He would use herb to heal people whether it was a
headache or toothache. And when he would help people he seems to just know when
someone was in pain. He would just get an herb or use his hands by placing his
hands on the person. I later found out that one of my mother's aunt's which
born with a veil and that I had a connection to native American Indians. I
would go into a shopping center that had an indoor flea, shops and would
attempt to go in, but my mother would be with me or her voice would be in my
head saying we don’t talk about these things. I later found out that this shop
was connected to a well-known Psychic Medium.
23. In
the past, I have gone places without knowing why, or how to really get there or
that felt the need to call someone or show up places. I went to the library one
time feeling like I need to get some books. At the time I did not realize that
it was the section on spirituality, ghost, UFO. Not there was a lot of books on the matter,
there is so much more now. I did end up standing right in front of the section
but left without any books because I felt I didn't understand at the time what
I was looking for.
