The following are things that I have experienced and were shocking beyond disbelief that they exists, as much as it does. I am often shocked at the candid/candor/lack of empathy of some the people or healers that I encounter and as well many others. I have been told that I have to "let go of it" and find myself asking the guides or God to remove it, because my mind can not process it and often seems like a nightmare. This included Rape, sexual assault to a child or female, and males, taking children by courts. Physical, emotion, mental, sexual trauma.
I have asked other people about my thoughts about this and told it the soul journey, with context that seems accurate, but still a very open concept, in the bigger view of things of bringing people together. Believe me, I am no saint and feel like I was thrown into whole different reality and planet at times, more often then most days.
I once was holding my (different) niece, at the time she was infant. As I holding her I got told that she was dying. I lost it and told my mother to take her and I literally ran out the door. I later found out that she was dying because she was not getting any food for she had a twisted intestines in layman terms. How no one even perceived that something was wrong, still floors me.
I once took my son to the hospital for the second time in two weeks, first was stiff neck and the second time for not being able to stand on his leg. It was later found that he had lyme disease. But before all of this, my son school he attended tried pushing on me that he had H1N1 and the nurse threaten me with calling child services on me, after explaining that he just been to the doctors at the hospital. This were people hype into things - the sky falling- before inquiry. Really lets look at this rationally - Aids, Avian flu, SArs, Mers, Ebola, Zika, the c-virus ...and media and governments tell the truth. I have some swamp land for sale that free of water? oxymoron.
Now taking him to the hospital that dealt with children's issues I had to drive in the city and on the side of road there was a man laying on a parking cement curb thing. Now my son spend four days in the hospital for treatment, when we left the hospital going the same route, with this same road the man was still in the same place. Now I have assume that he had died and no one even realized that he was there. I often wonder how many people drove pass this man and he just laid there.
I once went to a Baltimore beach for day trip and after few hours of driving and getting there. I decided to stop in a store to get a drink. I can not be absolutely sure and it crosses my mind every now and then, but I would have sworn on my own life that I saw a young woman walking with a dead child in her arms. The child looked limp and not even remotely alive. I have no idea to this day, whether it true or not.
I have seen a children locked outside in the middle of winter with no coat or shoes on, as punishment for their behavior.
I have seen children punished for being hungry and sent to there room for crying out for something to eat.
I have seen child left in cars while the mother was in the store. (I have call the police, more than once.)
I have come out of the laundry of the complex that I live in at 6:30 am to see a woman standing at the back of car looking for something with just undergarment on and I am thinking What the &#@2!
I can't even count the number of times on a public bus were I have seen people/ or a person go after someone for singing church hymns, or a veteran who has post trauma stress syndrome degraded because of a medical condition, or using alcohol to cope with what they have experienced in the many wars that this "planet" has gone through, so far.
Lets talk homeless people, since I have taking a trip down the road too and do not own a home much less washer/dryer. Since most have no idea. One because they are to ignorant to inquiry, and make judgement based on assumption, assuming makes jack ass of you, as we say in States. Lets be real between, jobs lost, relationships and economy, illness, inflation, and wages - now I have over thirty plus years experience and the probability of me getting paid enough to equate and equal to and not make the same amount of money as one of children at moment is currently what I am up against.
When I have explained to people I lived through Storm sandy, 911 and the collapse of 2008 Financial market, Housing market, dealerships payout, C-virus, Aids years ago, shitty bosses, predatorial people, Protection from abuse order and government shut downs, world shut down, family passing, estates, courts and car accidents, health illness with family or health with myself. Even with grieving 10 years for my son's and myself for all of the shit that has been life, so far.
With Eeco Laws and every other laws that I researched or inquiries about that is basic human rights. Not including writing to Government people for fundamental needs or assistance. (without housing and address, and transportation people are screwed) Something we should be ashamed of since with the technology that we have here. There is also no reason for most of stuff that is happening on the planet. Screw the government, there spending faster then they can wipe with it.
This is all while I live next to man that OCD that slammed doors all day, vacuum's excessively including walls, and slamming things against the walls, given knobs and another neighbor who stomps on floors every evening and leasing agent who tells me to address them and or call the police, oh that fly over well.
I have known of woman that her boyfriend would put cigarettes' out on her and continued to stay with him. Because he comes back and tell her she made him do it to her and he love her... another what !2$%! To finally take her life, while leaving her children behind. One many I seen over the years.
I have seen young women curse out there child/children on bus, walking down the street, and for the men that they kept in there life, as they are problem without looking in the mirror first.
I think about the countless women who have lost their children through the courts, much like myself and trying to protect them, save them from abusive relationship for control, drugs, because they think there partner is their property of them or the children.
A woman who assaulted my Son, as he walk behind me leaving the store and this woman punched him in the head. And my Son became upset with me because I did not see it. And this woman was known to assault people and mentally unstable due drugs, which I found out afterwards.
The Faces of women who's bloody faces were so swollen that I had no idea that type behavior existed, much less happened, or that a human being could do that to another person.
Children left home to fend for themselves as young two years old. Or left alone over night or days at time. Left in apartments or with other people, while parent was doing who knows what.
Special needs children who instead of teaching them are left in a room and the parent is so afraid of the child's meltdown - avoids do anything that would set them off and uses the child's disability as excuse, instead taking responsibility by being a parent.
When I watch a boy with down syndrome have more common sense to give up a seat on the bus for a older person, then several young people.
The amount needles, spoons or anything else that you find walking down that street or the side of the road from children/adults in so pain that this is the what the world has come too.
The many times that I see parents at the park, while instead spending time with your children your busy looking at phone, or in your cars driving with cell phone, standing in line at the store with phone. Much less walking them to the school bus will the cell phone in your face and not even realizing the impact that you tell and showing your children what is important and valued. Satire of it course.
Or you children that you berate them publicly that I can't even image why they turn to drugs, or what ever to escape the shit that they do. And the finger points to the child and not at one's self.
The countless conversation that I hear of so and so did this and repeating the things said that have nothing to do with you, but seem to the gossip of your now conversations.
Or people so full of fear that they create problems in other people's lives because they can't stand back far enough and blame it on illness and that they have no control over there actions and you should have to just deal it.
I have seen some of most educated people be the most neurotic and self-rightest that they right and everyone is wrong in the name of being educated, and same can be said with less educated, ignorance is bliss or is it a moral compass of compassion and empathy, that we degrading ourselves of being a human soul?
Or maybe the fact that I avoid driving or major road and highway, because I am guaranteed that someone will try to run me off the road, since we have no respect for other driver on the road. Apparently are jobs or homes have moved elsewhere that we are putting other people lives on the line for us to get to these places or most the people on the planet want to grand prix /Formula one driver. Yikes, someone take away the Xboxes away.
The concept of community where if it snows or any conditions, we all help, unless a condition that prevents a person, or child that are not given responsibility, when they should be learning to know these things, what it means to be part of something greater then themselves. That they live in world where people care.
My own assaults by people, family or friends. As I continue to ask or seek prayer for guidance in these matters. To be told that it soul lessons, journey and karmic debt for something that I can not remember and recreating karmic debts and cycles and that it is the whole of evolution as perpetual cycle without true elimination of suffering. Sorry it does not quite fly with me. That without everyone seeking divine connecting or questioning their own morality of life is just sequence of events, true manifesting is limited in our karmic debts. Again, sounds like an impossible task at hand.
I ask the guides what am I doing because for every one person I help there is 10 more behind them. I can't save the whole world and what is my part in it. Some clarity please, and I am more than little over it.
And did God, universe, or creation ask these very question? because if I can think this question and ask about it, what rabbit hole am I traveling down that is filled with more questions, then answers to why life continues to be what it is. I don't know the answer and maybe never know.
No I did not proof read this -
