Let go of Toxic People: 7/28/15

Let go of Toxic People: 7/28/15

Ok, so yesterday I had to let go of the one the hardest things in my life, up to this point. I had a very toxic relationship with my ex. He has make things so unbearable that I found myself questioning, can I do this or that or whatever the situation. Even with court orders in two counties I found them useless in protecting me from this relationship. You, see the law has not caught onto the fact that verbal abuse, degrading and various form of verbal language to adult or children is a form of controlling people and their lives.

In fact the courts did not help only adding to the problem at hand. Even when I wrote down all the situations over the period of years and mailed letters, they did what I thought was impossible and removed my son from my custody. So after two and half years or dealing with courts and legal system I turned my son over to his father yesterday and told my son that I love him and that when he’s ready or old enough we could be together again.

So, now I wait for the next court hearing at the master office to see what happen next, because not only did I open the door to whatever come next I have separated my son from myself, in order to not put him in harm’s way anymore. See I follow all the rules and law that I was aware of up until this point from begin, but for me to free of the man, I had to let go of this toxicity for sake of my son for now. The courts maybe have freefall with this or who really know. What I do know is that regardless of courts and the ex. I am free to choose, who I let into my life at this point. I am not tied to the courts or even him anymore. I dealt with the worst of his personality and behavior of treatment towards people.

 I believe that truth is truth and lies only dig you deeper. When it comes to letting people go due to whatever reason you choose, just remember that it no longer serve you and is showing you something that needs to heal within you. It could family, friends or relationships. These people are reflecting something in your own personality or something that happen to you. When you realize that this is a cycle of patterns that we learned through family relationship and even generation of family ties the cycle will continue until you find the root of it and heal from. It will continue to happen now and possibility in future relationships. So free your from these relationship or realized that it is you calling this to you to heal yourself.

How much Money do you need to make, to be happy? 7/28/15

Well after spending my morning folding flyers and stuffing envelopes for school. I realized how peaceful it was not to physically have to leave the house. I realized that I did not have to deal with traffic or worry about what my day would be like. I just got up and did my normal morning routine: making coffee, eating breakfast, which now consist of making a green smoothie, because am trying to eat better and live a healthier life style.

I just sat down to do the flyers and it accrued to me that it was really quiet and I did not need to rush or run around like a crazy person try to print this, pull that report or deal with people who forgotten that I am human too. It was so calm and peaceful that I said to myself that I really don’t have to leave my house unless I want too. That regardless of what going on in the world I am perfectly happy be me in my home. Then I got thinking how unfortunate it is that we are constantly doing for the sake of being happy. Really, I have everything that I need around me.  I have a place to live, food to feed myself with and the comfort of comfy clothes. I did not need to do anything more I was free of the world.

As long as my bills are paid I really did need the outside world with all it craziness. The hardest part of day would be dealing with my son who was having issue with the same crazy world that I was not missing at the moment. It amazing that when you step back and really just let go of the things that do not serve you, and just living freely from your heart center, that we put so which energy into things, people and an outcome, that we just forget to enjoy these few moments. How we have become so focus on having things and living up to responsibility that society tell us that we will be happier if we work harder, advance up this ladder or the more education that we have under are name from an accredit college with more symbols after our names that we do not know ourselves what they mean anymore.

Or the in order to understand ourselves we need to ask others or research ourselves to no end, only to raise more questions that either provide no answers or endless questions. We come to a point that we search for answer to questions that what we already know deep within us. We questions ourselves to death. Am I really a good person, who am I, why am I here, why is this happening, why did he/ or she do this that or the other things to me. Endless mind chatter if you ask me, we have become so depend on the outside world to confirm who we/I/ am, that we don’t even know the first things about our self. How many time have we ask another person for their thought or opinion on anything. Whether we should take this job, date that person or look that answer that we already know Within us. No, we have been taught to doubt, question, argue, and reason without checking in with our, self. Or how to feel at this moment, it not difficult but we make it into re-inventing the wheel and that already been done several times over.

We continue to question the quiet moments wonder why we are bored or not doing anything. Why is it that we have to be doing anything at the moment! Maybe the moment came so you could hear your soul and it telling you to just enjoy this moment, because out in the rest of the world it’s a zoo. It really not a zoo, but it feels that way soon day or most days depending on what you do as a living. People being people, whether that remember that they are human or not. It amazing that we forget this simple fact. I often wonder where we always like this treating people as they really don’t exist or that regardless of my own actions I have a right to treat with disrespect. So before I go into tail spin about the why people treat people, just remember those moments of doing nothing, being in complete peace and calm – even if it remembering back to elementary school when the teacher caught you in complete peace looking out the window and dreaming of somewhere you would have rather been – you were in complete peace and with your soul.