We have exes for a reason! Are Ex’s show us
what we don’t want and what needs to be healed within ourselves. They are our
one of greatest teacher in life. We love them and then one-day things change or
maybe it’s happening all along; where we were lying to ourselves. I want you to
think about your parent’s relationship because that is the keys to your
problems now. Knowing that many people come from different backgrounds I cannot
give you the answers, because you already know the answers to the questions.
Did you have loving parents or was there a separation, power struggles, money
issues, cheating, loveless…etc. You get the idea.
If you look at our history, there has always been
dominating over another. It does not matter what gender you are, or culture,
religious upbringing this energy of balance does not exist on a global scale.
We would like to believe that we live in a state of equality. But the truth be
told we don’t. WE have become so out of balance that these imbalances are
playing out in the world. The control, the power, the greed where does it end.
It ends with you and you taking your own power back.
I see ex’s as the things that I did not want in my
life and or the things that were hidden from me. One of many things that I
started addressing were my issues and character flaws so I could really start
to understand what was happening to me. It started the day my second son was
born. He was not even 12 hours old and my relationship was rearing where there
were problems. I dismissed it as first-time father fear and figured would work
its self out. It did not! It was as if everything that I knew collapsed at that
moment.
My son’s birth was marked with control, power
struggles, denied feelings and thoughts. It didn’t matter that I had another
son, or that I came from a big family with years of experience around children.
My life was not my own anymore, I was a person who was responsible for this
child but was not supposed to breathe. I went from being a person in a
relationship to a person of insignificant.
Looking back there were signs and I saw them and just figure again that
they would work their way out.
By trying to be supportive and understanding when I
wasn’t allowed to have a voice or say anything in the upbringing of my son. Yet
it did not end there, conditions were placed on me. I considered myself a
strong and capable person with thought’s that again that it would work itself
out. I have never enjoyed conflict or fighting. It seems pointless that two
people cannot work it out. But when you are denied as a person there is only so
much you can take before it just crumbles.
This is where the journey begins: With questions,
why was I attracting this type of person again and again. What was my part in
it? I remember certain things that happen when I was a child living with my
family and I remember from an early age that I said to myself that I would not
put up with things that happen then in my life, but here I was years later
reliving my childhood with a man that was much like my father. The only difference
was that this Ex played me and just like a light switch my son’s birth was the
light bulb that went on.
There is a cliché that “you should honor your
parents and elders”. But what if you been carrying the energy of your parents
lives forward. We would like to believe that we are not our parents, but on a
subconscious level, we are carrying everything that they were or are, including
their hurts, pain, love, and fears. We carry their expectations and their hopes
and desire. Much like school and society, people inundate you with following
the rules or be punished. We like to believe that we are free, but are not to a
certain degree. Things are pushed on us to conform to what others expect.
Ask a child who has rebelled in any direction to
break down the walls that separated us. We separate ourselves because we tell
ourselves that were not them, were not causing others pain. That could not be
me or I don’t act like that. But you do and you’re not even aware that you are
doing it. There is a saying that “like attracts like” if all you know is what
you been told or shown, how can you see any difference. You see different by
realizing that your part of the problem. What you think, say or do, effects
everyone that you encounter.
Unfortunately, you cannot hide from the world.
Believe me, I have tried, and it does not work. You and We are not your family
and friends or the childhood that you lived through, you are your own person,
who came here to be the person you were meant to be: “love”. And to use your gift
and talents to change yourselves and the world around you.
So, how well do you know your own life or yourself?
If what you believe is truth can it be a false belief that you have about
yourself and others? We can’t change people they need to change themselves, we
can’t heal or save them, they must first want to heal themselves, but we can
take accountability for the way we or I show up in life.
Finding the root or cause of the belief and how it
developed, to how we have taken ownership of it, was never ours to carry in the
first place. Do you realize that we have been recycling beliefs for
generations!
All misbelief come back to one cause: Fear. Fear of
not knowing, not understanding, and fear of not challenging the belief about
ourselves or about another.
It so simple that we forget to ask the right
questions, but then were you allowed to think for yourself. Once you start
questioning, you then have to decide, if this is your truth or not. Your Ex is
just a signpost for you to heal or challenge your belief about you or what you
want in life. And if you keep getting the same thing, then you’re missing the
lesson.
Note: the above can involve deeper questions, but
this was written as a general thought and not an answer to all issues.
VoiceWithin©2018
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