What is irking me? 9-15-19

I have gone silent over the several months, due to personal issues in my life that I just could not process fast enough as I walked through them. A few months back I wrote that I was not calling myself spiritual anymore due to few recent encounters with so-called people who for whatever reason felt the need to say and do things that as a teacher of any spiritual matter or metaphysical seemed ego-based. Yes, my own ego was bruised and still is. I looked to these people to help me understand what was and is still happening to me because I have read enough books at this point in my life to tell there is not one single answer to any given question or experience.

I also see being spiritual or metaphysical matter, call it what you will, marketed all over the internet as fix or quick overnight you will become a psychic or medium or channel information that you could not possibly know days or weeks before. I have been researching for 15 years and it does not work over night like that. If I could write any book it would be clean up your shit and by that, I mean your reality is yours only to you and if you have no knowledge of other people outside of the sphere of influence or your family. You’re in for an awakening that your wildest dreams could not conceive of. And to just to be clear to the people out there who knew me as a child, teenager, and young adult, even family, you only know what I let you know and what you or I experienced together. With that being said when things happen to you that you can’t explain or understand and realized that you saw, see things and said things as child and were told to not speak of them because of your parents fear to protect you or so you would not look crazy, because when I was born and years later we locked up people for seeing or talking about what they saw or experience. We still medicate people today for the same reason.

Back in the days that we lived in tribes or other cultures you went to your community witch doctor, shaman or even the women who worked with herbs or even religious people who had experience or knowledge of spiritual or metaphysical natures. Yoga’s have spoken about for years and there is movement to move back into balance with ourselves, nature and the planet. Had I not been denied or validation or encourage to speak or even write about what I experienced just maybe I would not have found myself in situations that I had. I was raised in a family that was incapable of seeing that children have a voice and that I or we had the right to be who we were. Instead, I was molded in a life that I hid in for fear of my safety, as well as having a traumatic experienced at an early age that left me lost between two worlds. At some point, I chose the latter. I have made several attempts at writing a book or what I experience and about my life. I struggle to expose my truth and not destroy what is left precious to in my life to me. I keep a tight lid on my privacy for fear of the backlash of people who on reading this would tell me differently. When I have told some people that I considered friends, they walked, or I walked away from them because we don’t want to hear truths.

Eight years ago, I walked away from the last of the people who I thought loved and supported me, to find that it was just me looking for the answers to why my life was destroyed in a matter of months and years. That the birth of my son and even before would send me on a quest to heal myself and understanding what was happening to me, better. What really sucks is that growth is gain thru chaos or trauma. The trauma could be an accident, illness or what you experienced in living this life. People don’t turn to spiritual matter unless they have experience something that there is no explanation for or there is a big calling that been since birth. Not that we all can do this, and we have forgotten, because there are people in power who don’t want you to know how powerful you are.   

So, when I hear or see people, even famous people marketing intuition or non-physical things to other people without offering some type of mentorship to people it is upsetting and grossly disgusting. It is like telling a college student you make 60-80k year for having a degree after graduating. Guess what that is slim and far beyond the truth or maybe it is my own lack of finding a teacher or some degree of understanding to put my own life in order without charging hundreds and hundreds of dollars to understand my spiritual gifts.

What I do know is that it’s not rockets science and kudos to the person who claims that they have all the answers to spiritual matter or metaphysical because they’re probably lying. I learned that more the questions come, or I ask, the rabbit hole just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Until you get to the point that you just want to walk away from it all because it is overwhelming.

I have tried on a few of these spiritual healing calling. I call them calling because they do call to you or you call them to you. And not everyone is supposed to do this work. There are mostly three things that help you on this path of work. One you need to meditate, clear your crap and have an open mind. Ok, maybe four or better things – reflect. Most people are taught the simplest lessons, yet do we do them. You may think that we do, but most aren’t. Be kind, treat others with respect, and universal law Do no harm, respect yourself and have a clear boundary, even with yourself and other people. No one has the right to treat you badly. On that note I will end it at this – if your curious or having a calling to spiritual matters your life will deeply change and you will become a better human for it, but with it comes  experiences, and challenges that you have/had no idea about or fears that been hiding in you for years and maybe centuries, if you believe it your first time on this planet. Oh, and maybe you should get comfortable with words like your Alien, you’re God having human experience.

Note: If you gotten this far- as for my book about my experiences and life, I may published here, because after doing some research I have come to realize that it maybe not be cost effective to publish due to the return on publishing it. Unless it published through a top publishing company the likely-hood of myself making the money back is not offsetting the cost or the time energy that it takes to publish it. Since writing it requires myself to go thru 86 hand written books and counting. And with 49 years of experiences going back to age 5 and a lot of self-healing and reflecting. To be able to begin to speak about, hence the name the Voice Within-

As Lady Gaga put it” I born this way”. And so were you.

Donna L. Millward

9-27-19 Previous Psychic information -Unpublished until now

Psychic information

I have decided to release psychic information that I either seen in my dreams or verbally gotten this information. This information has never been verified unless I noted it here. This is my interpretation only:

Date of event: 11/15/07

A body rolled in a carpet. Something about a room on the left side of this room. There were two vehicles one white and one silver – one a truck and the other a car.

The body was put in the back of a white truck or Van, there was a smell’s funny.

(Note: 8 years passed, and I befriended a security officer who I later found that he was a retired Norristown police officer – and one day out of conversation he told me that about an event where he was on duty and came an across a car that there was a body found in carpet in a truck of a car.)

12/27/07 – Had a dream about a child being hit while on the toilet. It was a little girl.

Also had a dream that there would be two passing for someone that I knew.

12/28/07 Dream about a blue & yellow truck in the driveway with writing on it.

01/03/08 Make-up and hair color a woman running on out on stage from a fashion show or something happening.

01/06/08 I happen to be boiling water and the pot on the stove begin rocking, not to the point of turning over but enough to make it noisily. My one son that it was a spirit of my father trying to get my attention.

01/07/08 I kept having dreams and impressions (visual pictures) that a man kept falling asleep with smoke and fire around him. It was verified when someone told that because of the medication they were on, they would fall asleep and at the time would be smoking which would leave burn holes in their mattress and clothing.

01/09/08 Intuitive feeling – I would run into a male person and I would get the feeling that their head was not on straight and they were still using drugs. It was later verified when a crack pipe was found in their sneaker’s. They were telling people that they not using drugs when in fact they had never stopped.

01/15/08 Dream about house white in color and there was an explosion which shook the entire house. I believed that this was due to a gas leak or something hitting a pipe. (this may have regards to complex or apartments) in New Jersey. I am not sure – but there was issues lines being hit or some digging and hit gas lines.)

01/19/08 Sweaters separated in a basket or laundry, something about a sofa being ruined.

01/23/08 Delaware river walk, curtains over a doorstep to office. Someone selling drinks and food (orange soda). Names Fran, Susan another woman, a small sill with a plant white and green. The plant seems like it was part of the painting. Some type of accident by the river, need to go say prayers. Something about the head and the body.

01/23/08 I kept feeling that there was going to be a fire or multiple fires. It just so happens that where I was living there was a problem with the heater and that had someone not come and fixed it, it would have catch fire. There was also an outlet that sparked and caused the outlet to burn out.

01/23/08 A dream about male and female in early thirties being in an alleyway or near some type of sewage thing. Looking to make a drug deal with they came an across a small girl 3-5 who overdosed on drugs and they debated whether to take her to the hospital. Something or someone else said to them that if it was their daughter would you take her to hospital.

01/25/08 I got that a family member would be passing and somehow preparing for the transition to happen. I also kept getting a heart attack around another family member, sure enough in 2012 this family member did, in fact, have heart attacked, and multiple stents to open the blockages. (They were only in their thirties).

01/28/08 Again I felt fire – I, myself experienced a small fire in truck.

01/24/08 or prior I kept having dreams about sewer and I asked someone that I knew, and they informed that it means death or a serious illness. I not sure why sewage was used to explain illness, because prior I would just sense darkness on certain people. But I was informed on 1/28/08 that a female who I knew, in fact, had ovarian cancer. 

02/07/08 Dream about wires and something round and that the wires were mixed up and were a problem.

02/07/08 Strange dream about being on top of a mobile home and people inside watching the guy next door because he was stripping a blue car for scraps, then following the man down the road when the mobile home lost control and went flying through the air and landed in a schoolyard. And the truck was hanging for dear life and someone praying to God asking for it to be put down safety because only a small tree of 6-8 ft high was keeping this vehicle from crashing to the ground below.

02-16-08 Seeing visual images of a crack pipe- (verified)

02-16-08 The names Dave & Julie seeing someone and calling them Mother  F-er. I felt drugs were involved.

2/21/08 Had a dream about someone running through a freezer.

2/26/08 A small fire the size of a dinner plate.  Then there was a massage or cleaning business with a building with emblems on it, secret passage. Two women and 5 altogether.

03/28/08 The name Joe, a dog named Tommy, a drug dealer, a baby, someone’s Mom

4/6/08 – Had a dream about a woman losing her child to Child Services or the Dept of child services. I felt she blond and thin and had a Thyroid problem and was not using her medication the way it intended. This was added to my book on 6/19/08 from another book. Sometimes, I would get information and did not have a journal around, so I would write on the paper that I had available at the time and translate later into my journal.

8/05/08 Visually seeing in a dream that someone again had ovarian cancer – they first thought that they were pregnant but instead had cancer. (verified)

8/08/08 Woke around 2am to have someone (not physically) standing next to my bed and I heard City of Angels – not sure what they met. Either it is was about the movie or Los Angeles.

08/08/08 Someone name Laila in a thrift store looking at a blanket or rugs and then her running away from someone or something. She seemed to be afraid of this person.

2) Three times I had this dream about women being under a spell, treated with cruelty, abused made to prostitute, Russian or the same origin.  (12/04/08 there was a prostitute ring running in the same county that I lived several months later. The made the TV networks and local papers and it was run by Russians) Note also that I gotten that these type of business are in a lot of neighborhood but are fronted by other business to under them up.

3) Had the following dream two times something about a pocket door and someone bleeding.

8/21/08 the following are the words that I wrote down to explain what I saw: Camping, trailer, something looking strange, house build all around. Being on a bus with 5 adults and several children, one adult getting sick, something about a uniform and medicine being too expensive to buy, hearing Protect the children over and over again. Told to pray for them. Something about the toilet being backward or stuck out very strangely.

8/26/08 Penn Grove. 2 girls, under and then just park. Not sure a physical park or parking lot at park, Where cars are.

9/12/08 A dream about a police car, a woman of color who is a police officer telling someone she “knew” the person and said to them that she missed placed her keys. In a parking garage or a parking lot, the person had a red shirt on. (I believe that this maybe about the police officer that killed in the nearby city.) Note on 12/04/08 There was an article in the newspaper about a police officer being killed in a parking lot.

12/05/08 A vision of a refinery in Upper black Eddy that destroyed the 150 years old building.

12/30/08 Kenya- volcano erupting in Haiti and flooding in Mexico

2009

01/02/09 A girl or woman missing, body missing, the name Christopher for the baby’s name. Keyport, Keyport, Keaport, Philadelphia on the map end of Pa. Oil refinery, Three months old. Changed name to or last name to LaRue – La R ?, Dropped baby off to visit, took off with baby in blankets, white cap, a pile of clothes, something about two months.

01-9-09 At someone apartment a female will long brown hair cleaning the bathroom or packing. Picking up things from under the sink in the bathroom. There was a new bag with two items in it. Pack of sheets or shower curtain, then something about a home invasion. The bathroom was separated by lights from under a wall. Under the sink were pieces of the tile missing or broken. Razor, dental picks on the floor of the bathroom. A small child being carried by a man, white with a black man. They walk upstairs they went towards the kitchen in the apartment and something about the left of the wall, spinning, and spirals around.

01-12-09 Some type of waiting room, children sleeping, Sponge Bob PJ’s, a hall at the back of the house, looking for a bathroom, Shower, water. Someone saying they all smoke out there, then there was morgue with cigarettes that was broken. There was tobacco all over the floor, items that they sell to celebrity. They look like sticks or statues (they were odd looking)  

01/19/09 House fire, two towers (Peco or radio) crashing to the floor. Small airport, small planes on fire Miami.

01/24/09 Omaha in the news, water, Chicago or conversation around Omaha and Chicago – some type of headline in few months in the spring.

03/02/09 A room or garage, brown in color, money drugs, partying.

4/29/09- 4/30/09 A female in a wedding dress, the dress looks like a cake, something about being very ugly.

Someone about a Mont Senior at a church. (I believe this had to do with a priest that was part of the investigation that happened in Philadelphia and relocated to a church in Bucks County- this was in the media) Something about having a connection to Harquinn Family like the publishing company. I think this was someone that I knew who was attending this church at the time.)

5/04/09 I received a message for someone I worked with – That her Grandson would outgrow out of his lung issues and that from a previous life where he and his Mother were brother and sisters, and both had TB tuberculosis and they were very fond of each and because of the lost in that life they carried it into this life because of the lost that they both felt. (Note I did research and there is a famous painting called the Sick child and it is in London. I was visually shown this image)

5-16-09 A motorcycle, a pizza shop, road name Canal street, Puerto

5-19-09 My son had a dream about tour bus getting in an accident with the one person would be critically conditioned and two other people would have minimum injuries. (few famous people have been injured in bus accidents)

7/26/09 Vision of that someone that worked in a soup kitchen or attended a soup kitchen was stabbed in the neck by another male.

8/01/09 Arch Angel Michael and day prior my mom said something to me about Arch Angel Gabriel. The following was something that I verbally heard:  You have long awaited the movement which is coming to you, but you must start cleansing you, your heart of any ills feelings towards others. This needs to be done. You must open your heart and yourself to the gifts you will receive. You must be in thanks for your journey and power. You must cleanse your thoughts that you are receiving to divine assistance. You must realize that you have it within yourself to be the person that you were sent here to be. You must choose your path. We support whole heartily. You must trust that you are being guided to your highest potential. You must love and let go. This is your path. Be true to yourself and everything else will follow. God has blessed you now and in the future. You must listen to the divine coming thru you. We are here to support you in your efforts. Be god’s light and love and everything else will follow. Blessing to you and your path and journey. Put your sadness away turn it over to God to spread his light a pond you. (Note: I had no idea or memory of writing the above at the time of writing it.)

08/02/09 Threats of a shooting at the Bristol elementary school, 6-8th grade. (Note: I look this up and there was an incident in Oct of 2012 of a threat. Not sure if there were previously threats or any other reporting).

Psychic Information 9-26-19

Since spirits and beloved departed friends and family don't seem to get that I have no idea who these messages belong too, I am going to post them here, because I no longer know what to do with them. And since my own life has been like a living hell I am going write as they come through. I don't read cards, I tried - they mean nothing to me. I get impression, dreams, images, smells and hear words or objects that have no meaning to me. So that being said, here is the following.  


9-25-19 April Love - not sure if it is a person or the physical month of April 2020 of next year.

9-26-19 A black woman standing a table or booth showing her back side to someone about having a tattoo of Ty or Tyree Roberts on there butt. 

Also a Dime is strange place ??? 

9-15-19 Let’s talk about Sex

9-15-19 Let’s talk about Sex

Yesterday, while working I had a conversation with a high school teacher who teaches algebra my least favorite subject vs teaching kids about financing and handling money. The teacher then informed that she had to teach one of the students how to figure out whether her student had gotten his girl pregnant. I asked the teacher what the hell is a 14-year-old boy or girl even having sex for.

Now I have two boys who I tried to educate not on just school matters but life. The teacher did not have an answer to my question as to why. I thought that she may have some insight that I didn’t.  I got to thinking about the conversation today, not that my parents ever sat me down and had any remote conversation about sex with me. Then I got thinking about my niece is in the early twenties and has four children already. So, I started to wonder what the hell is wrong here.

I have told and tell my children to follow their passion and see the world, do what you love, and it does not in entail making babies or getting married like the old program of getting an education, a job, find a partner and settle down to buy a house. I am not saying education is not important but that we put these social and society programs in their minds thinking that it is the only way that it should be done. 

 

Then my next thought is technology with all the technology that we have available how is that we can’t have a simple conversation with the ones that we care about the most. Are we all so busy pursuing money to support ourselves that we're failing our children and their ability to create a future and world that gives them choices? As I reflect on my own life and my children’s future would I have done things differently without a doubt, yes! 

At least I got to experience life before having children and that is the only wish for them, is to experience life and not be tied down to it. And know that it doesn’t have to be done a certain way. With what little guidance that I did get, if any, I have always known that it did not have to be done in any order or where we are brainwashed into thinking there is only one way. If that we true, then technology would not exist. 

You know I lived in a lot of places and see these children and some as young as five whose life is already been written for them because we as parents are failing them in so many ways that we keep fearing  having a conversation on sex or that they can choose a different life for themselves, culture or otherwise. We really need to stop, take responsibility and have a conversation that impacts that future of our children and our life. If we aren’t willing to challenge of own fears about sex, life, culture, religion or nationality then we're failing as humans.