You know
back in 2003 when I started this journey while I watching a show called
starting over, I had no idea what impact that show would have on my life. I
just left a job and was trying to decide what I would do next. I was studying
for my real estate license so could have more time with my son. My son had just been diagnosed with ADHD and
my home apparently had termite issues. I was getting my license to understand
the laws involved because it seemed easier than navigating countless books to
whether there was an error in the purchase of my home.
It seemed I
was going from one issue to the next. Quite frankly, I felt like I was on a
roller coaster. I had gotten my license and contacted a lawyer and carpenter to
see about checking my home. I had gotten my son into therapy. To this day I
don’t know if it was even necessary for my son to go to therapy or even be medicated.
I was informed that he needed the medication to focus in/on school, and pretty
much It was said that there was something wrong with him. It was implanted like
a bad seed. That I had to redirect him constantly and to behavior modification.
I did not
completely understand, so again I looked for resources to understand what was
being said, regarding my son. At no point in time was any real medical work
done on my son, just someone's opinion or observation. No scan or real testing
beyond to see whether there was an underlining issue. What was available on the
internet and in books was vague as to whether it was biological or the cause of
something else.
So, I start
the process of removing foods with dyes and changing food away from processed
food. When you use to the convenience of items and now realize that they could
be linked to making your child sick and then realized just maybe they have been
affecting you too, in ways that you have not considered.
I had gotten
a part-time to offset my full time that I left, while I pursued a real estate
career and took my son to therapy and running the house, and all the other
things that were expected to do in life. I had a partner who was less than
supportive of many things and when I did ask for help, he could not understand
why I could do it all. Then I found myself pregnant with a second child. I was
running on empty. I became very ill and could not eat. All I wanted was sleep
and that I did.
Because of
my age, which in hindsight seems ridiculous that at the time that there was no
clear indication anything that is medically available at the time to indicate
that there would be problems, my now second child yet unborn possibly had down
syndrome. I again went looking for information, not that the doctor could 100%
tell that it was a fact. I wanted to know without certainty that I was
informed. My doctor never offered any information or view otherwise.
At one point
in this roller coaster ride, there was a school event, and I went to my son's
school and watch that the child that I knew to be clever and inventive, was now
sitting on the floor with no clue what happening around him. He was numb and
even unaware that things were happening around him. I did not know that this
medication that he had been put on was so strong that he did even seem like my
child, it was as if he didn’t exist. The medication would were off before he
got home, and I never saw this side of him being so not calm but so robotic
that you need to jester him into movement. I spoke to the therapist regarding
the medication, and he was then changed to another medication that is now
listed as a class Two controlled substance.
He went from
Ritalin to Adderall time release which means that medication would release
multiple times within the body over the course of the day. My Son was 5 years
old when this started and because the thoughts had already been planted that
was something wrong with him instead of the other way around as to how we
school children. This medication is right up there with street drugs.
When I was
trying to figure out what foods he reacted to because there are so many
chemicals in the foods. I could eliminate red dye items. I don’t know what is
the reason behind it or the combination of multiple items together. As this is
all going on and my being ill with my second son, I could sleep in my bed it
was it I needed to cocoon by sleeping on the sofa. Often, I would experience
seeing a rainbow halo over my stomach. I did not know that I was psychic,
medium, or any other words to describe a natural gift. I had learned to not
speak of them and so I walk around not knowing that it was a birthright.
So, when all
this was happening to me and everything else with my other son, the
relationship that I was involved with blew up after my son's birth. Then in a
car accident, I had lost the feeling in the entire left side of my body during
that accident while my children were in the backseat of a car, and my older son
was thrust in his seat, to wretch his neck and shoulder, and myself losing
feeling. I managed to get to the hospital to have us all looked at.
At the
hospital, while being checked out the doctor found a lump on my thyroid that
had not been there previously. As I need to back up a bit. Two months, prior I had tubes tied and
because I am sensitive to medication that is for pain management or anesthesia,
I walked out of the hospital because I was disoriented when I could reach
anyone to come to get me. When I walked home, I don’t know the exact miles
involved because I was still under anesthesia, I had no awareness other than to
get home and find out why no one came back to get me or why no one answered the
phone to find out where my sons were.
The next day
I could not stand up straight, I had pulled muscles in my back while walking
and being high on the anesthesia. So, when I had the car accident the lump was
found to be growing at a rapid rate. Now all along I was experiencing seeing
energy around my home, mostly at night when I would be feeding my son and I
would witness things glowing around my home. Everything had energy around it.
And I was still not aware that there were names for what I am witnessing. I
spoke of nothing to my partner because things had become strained between us.
The strain
had been there for a long time before now that the communication was just a
time bomb waiting to go off. When you grow up in a family where your emotions
are denied, and you are denied that you’re thinking and feeling person things
go askew (wrong). This denying of my gifts has been with me for a very long
time. I only mention that above because it was about around the same time that
what happen or my psychic gifts came back online, as I call it. And was going
to stop anytime soon.
It started
off with trying to understand what was happening to me and healing, that is
what I set out to do. I wanted to know why it was happening to me, why I could
see and experience things that others apparently cannot. I want to heal my
life, and my relationship and understand why I was living event after event.
Regarding choosing the wrong partners and understanding my gift to help me and
others. Why it is that was not taught to me or us. And how all of it connected.
Now whether
want to believe it or not you are a multidimensional being born from the love
of creation, call it God, source, the universe, and even a tree if that works
for you. We agreed by entering this incarnation that we would forget who we
are. I did not completely forget but was subjected to all the human experiences
that one goes through to forget that we are always connected and regardless of
what you have experienced and projections of outer conditioning you are loved,
love, and a source of creation.
I often
wonder if we were taught from the beginning and or whether if it was not hidden
from us would we live in a different world. In my research to heal those parts
of me that were told everything but a divine being, living a human
experience. I have lived experiences
that have put me on my knees to try and understand why, consideration this is a
birthright to know who you are and that we all come in with gifts to share and
heal the world.
Am I clear
of human fallacy, No! Because clearing the errors is a process and something
that must always be kept in check with every thought, word/s, and action! It
ripples like a stone in water and the effects are unknown until you cross it
again. Again, you will. People are saying that if you clear what is happening
or present that it does show up again. I tend to disagree because as divine
beings we have set test after test to face ourselves, until learn the lesson or
vibrated high enough that these things don’t show up again.
I sometimes
feel like it is a horse before the cart situation. Every situation is there for
a reason and for you to master your emotions, reactions, and interactions.
Along with questioning every belief and behavior, and your thought, that you
have ever been taught or experienced. When one states that you create your
reality, it is very subjective based on the soul contract and lessons that you
came here to learn for your soul growth. Welcome to earth the school of
learning, and what it is like to be in human form.
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