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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

11-04-2022 My journey of healing

 

You know back in 2003 when I started this journey while I watching a show called starting over, I had no idea what impact that show would have on my life. I just left a job and was trying to decide what I would do next. I was studying for my real estate license so could have more time with my son.  My son had just been diagnosed with ADHD and my home apparently had termite issues. I was getting my license to understand the laws involved because it seemed easier than navigating countless books to whether there was an error in the purchase of my home.

It seemed I was going from one issue to the next. Quite frankly, I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I had gotten my license and contacted a lawyer and carpenter to see about checking my home. I had gotten my son into therapy. To this day I don’t know if it was even necessary for my son to go to therapy or even be medicated. I was informed that he needed the medication to focus in/on school, and pretty much It was said that there was something wrong with him. It was implanted like a bad seed. That I had to redirect him constantly and to behavior modification. 

I did not completely understand, so again I looked for resources to understand what was being said, regarding my son. At no point in time was any real medical work done on my son, just someone's opinion or observation. No scan or real testing beyond to see whether there was an underlining issue. What was available on the internet and in books was vague as to whether it was biological or the cause of something else.

So, I start the process of removing foods with dyes and changing food away from processed food. When you use to the convenience of items and now realize that they could be linked to making your child sick and then realized just maybe they have been affecting you too, in ways that you have not considered.

I had gotten a part-time to offset my full time that I left, while I pursued a real estate career and took my son to therapy and running the house, and all the other things that were expected to do in life. I had a partner who was less than supportive of many things and when I did ask for help, he could not understand why I could do it all. Then I found myself pregnant with a second child. I was running on empty. I became very ill and could not eat. All I wanted was sleep and that I did.

Because of my age, which in hindsight seems ridiculous that at the time that there was no clear indication anything that is medically available at the time to indicate that there would be problems, my now second child yet unborn possibly had down syndrome. I again went looking for information, not that the doctor could 100% tell that it was a fact. I wanted to know without certainty that I was informed. My doctor never offered any information or view otherwise.

At one point in this roller coaster ride, there was a school event, and I went to my son's school and watch that the child that I knew to be clever and inventive, was now sitting on the floor with no clue what happening around him. He was numb and even unaware that things were happening around him. I did not know that this medication that he had been put on was so strong that he did even seem like my child, it was as if he didn’t exist. The medication would were off before he got home, and I never saw this side of him being so not calm but so robotic that you need to jester him into movement. I spoke to the therapist regarding the medication, and he was then changed to another medication that is now listed as a class Two controlled substance.

He went from Ritalin to Adderall time release which means that medication would release multiple times within the body over the course of the day. My Son was 5 years old when this started and because the thoughts had already been planted that was something wrong with him instead of the other way around as to how we school children. This medication is right up there with street drugs.

When I was trying to figure out what foods he reacted to because there are so many chemicals in the foods. I could eliminate red dye items. I don’t know what is the reason behind it or the combination of multiple items together. As this is all going on and my being ill with my second son, I could sleep in my bed it was it I needed to cocoon by sleeping on the sofa. Often, I would experience seeing a rainbow halo over my stomach. I did not know that I was psychic, medium, or any other words to describe a natural gift. I had learned to not speak of them and so I walk around not knowing that it was a birthright.

So, when all this was happening to me and everything else with my other son, the relationship that I was involved with blew up after my son's birth. Then in a car accident, I had lost the feeling in the entire left side of my body during that accident while my children were in the backseat of a car, and my older son was thrust in his seat, to wretch his neck and shoulder, and myself losing feeling. I managed to get to the hospital to have us all looked at.

At the hospital, while being checked out the doctor found a lump on my thyroid that had not been there previously. As I need to back up a bit.  Two months, prior I had tubes tied and because I am sensitive to medication that is for pain management or anesthesia, I walked out of the hospital because I was disoriented when I could reach anyone to come to get me. When I walked home, I don’t know the exact miles involved because I was still under anesthesia, I had no awareness other than to get home and find out why no one came back to get me or why no one answered the phone to find out where my sons were.

The next day I could not stand up straight, I had pulled muscles in my back while walking and being high on the anesthesia. So, when I had the car accident the lump was found to be growing at a rapid rate. Now all along I was experiencing seeing energy around my home, mostly at night when I would be feeding my son and I would witness things glowing around my home. Everything had energy around it. And I was still not aware that there were names for what I am witnessing. I spoke of nothing to my partner because things had become strained between us.

The strain had been there for a long time before now that the communication was just a time bomb waiting to go off. When you grow up in a family where your emotions are denied, and you are denied that you’re thinking and feeling person things go askew (wrong). This denying of my gifts has been with me for a very long time. I only mention that above because it was about around the same time that what happen or my psychic gifts came back online, as I call it. And was going to stop anytime soon.

It started off with trying to understand what was happening to me and healing, that is what I set out to do. I wanted to know why it was happening to me, why I could see and experience things that others apparently cannot. I want to heal my life, and my relationship and understand why I was living event after event. Regarding choosing the wrong partners and understanding my gift to help me and others. Why it is that was not taught to me or us. And how all of it connected.

Now whether want to believe it or not you are a multidimensional being born from the love of creation, call it God, source, the universe, and even a tree if that works for you. We agreed by entering this incarnation that we would forget who we are. I did not completely forget but was subjected to all the human experiences that one goes through to forget that we are always connected and regardless of what you have experienced and projections of outer conditioning you are loved, love, and a source of creation.

I often wonder if we were taught from the beginning and or whether if it was not hidden from us would we live in a different world. In my research to heal those parts of me that were told everything but a divine being, living a human experience.  I have lived experiences that have put me on my knees to try and understand why, consideration this is a birthright to know who you are and that we all come in with gifts to share and heal the world.

Am I clear of human fallacy, No! Because clearing the errors is a process and something that must always be kept in check with every thought, word/s, and action! It ripples like a stone in water and the effects are unknown until you cross it again. Again, you will. People are saying that if you clear what is happening or present that it does show up again. I tend to disagree because as divine beings we have set test after test to face ourselves, until learn the lesson or vibrated high enough that these things don’t show up again.

I sometimes feel like it is a horse before the cart situation. Every situation is there for a reason and for you to master your emotions, reactions, and interactions. Along with questioning every belief and behavior, and your thought, that you have ever been taught or experienced. When one states that you create your reality, it is very subjective based on the soul contract and lessons that you came here to learn for your soul growth. Welcome to earth the school of learning, and what it is like to be in human form.

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