The guide wants me to tell you my story. I am like why have I not already done that! I was born knowing that I did come from this planet. I always felt that I was put in the wrong family. I have known that everything was love and talk to my guides or God and there is something about protecting the children, and equality. As for children, I thought it was my sibling, then my own children, and now I am not sure what it is. Maybe all children.
Because if I use my own family as an example and the fact that I was raised by adults that really had no real idea what that entailed or meant. Who of course were raised by adults that encountered and endure our past history of depression, wars, threats of bombs being dropped on them, a president killed on national television and drafts, race wars, segregation, slavery, sex discrimination, inequality, gas shortages, and multiple wars, missing children and people, much of same things that we are encountering now.
One has to wonder if is it the past replaying or something much more nefarious. Now my life experience looks like a resume of disaster. From being exposed by a predator, who threaten to kill me and my family, to an alcoholic father who raised us to fear him verse to not feel loved by him, to not be unable to breathe much less move unless told to do so. To my mother who loved and fear of him, and who believed marriage vows or the fact her life experience was also a Martyr, but of course, we have to mention, Women were the property of the husband up to the 60s and early 70s. Whereas a woman could not even own property or a banking account without a husband or male as in father figure to oversee the financial matter.
This is followed by generations of grandmothers who did not have equality, and grandparents who I am not aware of but not knowing if these great-grandparents were 1st or 2nd generational immigrants could possibly play into this because unless you have stories or researched previous generation's connection to their life there is no real link to what was expressed that connects dots of history with life to why things have played out. Of course, this leads to skeletons and ghosts in the attic of all these people and their own experiences.
When knowing their history or what I call breadcrumbs of stories that parents did tell you, about their experience is the only way to piece together and understand completely what is involved in our own process of healing which of course can be multiple generational. The indigenous people state that are problems are seven generations in the past and into the future. What we do now is a ripple or domino effect that not only affects the planet but the Universe, because it is all connected.
Because life 100 years ago was very different than it is now. Even 150 yrs is not the same as now. I could say that my father was a narcissus but understanding that narcissus is historically has been dominated by men and my parents and being wounded as a child themselves going back to my grandparents leads to what was their life like and how do we do better going forward. Versing blaming our parents being that they themselves were and not realizing it have been also traumatized and take responsibility now for our own lives and the future of the children.
My father's threats were quite normal considering society and obedience even now, to people in power whether it be parents, jobs, or government, and that slavery of inequality and war is and was acceptable behavior culturally across many generations. We are quite used to being submissive to not stand in our own personal power, when you are shown over and over what it is to acceptable or to be compliant, to feel powerless in a system that is all you know. So my life by the age of nine became a little mom taking care of my brothers as my mom worked in the evening. While my father directed us to be still and not move for fear of retaliation or criticism for not doing as he said. This is where you think you have no free will because there is no choice but to follow the rules or face it with punishment, only as a child but not now as an adult. Love was never an option, so forgive them and heal it.
Now whether it was trauma from a man who exposed himself to me or threaten my life, my father's inability to show or be love to me. My mother's inability to stand up for herself and us, because again Father rules that home, My house my rules mentality! To my Mom let us be children and the complete and polar opposite when my father was around. To what is acceptable behavior as a girl's work and a boy's job, to what is ok for one was not ok for the other. To my sibling, to a family unit at nine years of age, creating a different social, economic, and parenting style to who's job is what. I can't tell you if I have ever seen my father wash one dish, wash clothes, fold or hang clothes to mop a floor. And of course, as a teenager I was expected to change a tire or oil and cut the grass and shovel snow and take the trash out and my brother never did what was women's work. Clean a bathroom, that was completely unheard of. So of course because of family traits, I end up dating boys or men, the same as I grow up with or saw in other families, just like my youth.
Why would I have ever thought differently, repeating this same behavior. Along with knowing certain things as a child or this awareness, I knew that life was a balance and equality between both sexes. Which made life hard because you are told one thing and feel and sense something else as truth, and being torn because you remember coming from love into a family of dysfunction before I could spell the word or think my mother needs to divorce my father before my brothers were born and I was only 4 or 5 years old. Now I have written about this before in previous writing and I have what I call missing time -now I fully expect not to remember events but I seem to have more than I think I should. I have been told when you think back or write them down they come back. I attempted many times to recover memories that I have written them out in a timeline version to make some cohesive sense of the story of events. Which I may or not attempt here.
When I had the trauma of being exposed to and in hindsight that it could been abduction too, at some point I told my best friend that this happen to me, who had to remind me that it was not a dream years later and I had actually told someone. It had already set events in place. I walked to school every day in fear of coming home to being killed on the way home, hoping to not find my family dead, to my going to school and in fear that I was never going to feel safe as I arrive at school traumatized day after day, to the point that my teacher would punish me every day for that entire year. I would then leave school, and walk home on that path, not knowing whether my family was going to be there waiting at home, to my father's abuse of the treatment, to how should a child be raised with knowing who the boss is.
And if you really think about it, Television mimicked life from shows about All in the Family, to Mash and Wars, Crime show, and news. I am not going to mention all of the shows that were on from that time, well because there are just too many and along with having missing memories. I have no memory of having my hair cut or brushed (except my aunt cut my hair once) I have no memory of a lot of things. So for the sake of simplicity of going through every event. I always had my intuition, knowing that it was intact whether it was from the original trauma of keeping things to myself or the fact that my mother told me at a young age to not speak of things because well we locked people up for voices when I told her of a situation that was going to happen and it did. I learned that I needed to keep things and my experience to myself. I don't recall saying that it was guides or imaginary friends or anything of the sort. This happen enough times that I just knew things.
So throughout elementary school, I would be bullied by girls who I went to school with. I would know things that I could not tell people and when did, I was punished for it. I would know when I was being lied to, or taught things that were not true, god forbid you spoke up in school, at home, or anywhere. I had no one to tell and life was not idyllic that we are free to be children, except when my mom was around, but life with my father was not the same. And what was even worst is that my Mom disregarded the fact that she knew that he was not good to me or us and allowed these things to happen to us.
And because the dysfunctional relationship between my parents, and child-rearing life was walking on eggshells in the least. I only just recently found out that my father never drink until after he married my mother. Whether that is true as of yet, I have no way to verify it. Now I watched a movie last night and realized that with my birth and maybe even in today's world of multiple realities was existing at the same time if we look at history the 60 to 70s and the events that were different with each generation from post-war of '40s-'50s to people volunteering to the draft of Vietnam War and it was nothing but fear and trauma in the news of then and even now. Now I lived in a home that was built in what be mass production and produced a community that was sold as the urban modernism, for GI returning home, not different from today's overpriced housing, except this was more (maybe) more afford in comparison to actual earn income.
So why do I bring this up, because when we look at our trauma we look at it from the standpoint of now, not what was happen in the family in the context of where we lived, not taking into account history and what was happening then and prior generations. This of course is no excuse for the treatment that we endured, but this is a societal and social thing. Just as it is relevant, as it is today. Let's just for the sake of argument say that all these factors like women's equality, segregation, from women wanting paying jobs and less of stay at home and child-rearing have been monetized not for the benefit of humanity but as a way to capitalize, to move away from the family unit to a system of commercialization.
Not much different than today's constant intrusion of ads, targeting AI buying or consuming. Note for the record that a conspiracy or not, exists, that humans were sold under some maritime law as goods, during a war or depression, that all the numbers assigned to us from birth to death are back by some document, as we are property. I have not found the document to collaborate it yet, but I heard it enough, from reliable sources, that it is plausible, since other documents have come across my path.
About Sars, agenda 2030, and a document written by a doctor in 1967 of forced medical groups into Hmo, PPO, and United health care group selling them as modernization to control the market and for power of taking their independence of medical away from sole ownership. When it is a directive that has been orchestrated many years in the making. That some type of technology (looking glass technology brought here by Et's) exists that allows you to see the future to a certain point. I am promoting it, but had I not had events unfold into the future in by things that I have seen in the past during dreamtime or meditation, is it a fluke or truth to it! Now back to the story. Hearing (Question everything and believe nothing with proof, food for thought, )
Are we driving the system to break away from the family unit in the interest of wealth and consumption? And as an adult with children and knowing what I experienced from an early age, as an after effect, of emotional neglect, abuse, tyrant leadership, and sibling abuse, and education to our children now and where we still relied on a dead system of educating our children in the same fashion, cloaked as the normal. How is it that we don't understand that it is not the children, it is us, and what we have accepted as normal behavior. Now if we are really honest with ourselves and knowing our own trauma that needs healing to what is happening to our children and questioning what is important and something that we were all forced into by the worldwide shutdown. To the ongoing events of weather challenges and a very real global financial market breakdown, housing issues or reset, and these traumas are created to impact our future and our children are at the center of it.
Now in previous posts, I have written about the assaults, sexual trauma, predatory people, Domestic violence, more car accidents than one should ever have, someone trying to run me down with a car in a parking lot, a person jumping in the front car in threat of retaliation calling them out for behavior and someone flashing their gun me at a bar. My coming online to remember it and relearn about it my gifts, that I had this knowing as a child and learning about trauma and learning to heal it, to being homeless and losing my son, to a broken court system that is beyond words, having to remove my son from my living situation because he had not yet decided what he wanted to pursue in life at just turning 18. I was given the choice to force him to make a decision that would alter our relationship. Already dealing with major events and also having your brother taken out of life, to then show up part-time from before being a daily schedule of being with him or to soothe a man's ego. When I was more than willing to work with this man prior to him assaulting me and my son. When my son could make that choice when he was age appropriate for himself instead of a grab for control and because of family trauma in his own life, relationships, over money, and to what is really in the interest of the child and system that fail us all.
At this point in the story is when until I looked at my life and still do to this day heal this trauma that was forced onto me by my parents and many others, forgiving them and listening to my intuition not as something that just happens and questioning what is real love, to knowing that we have this within us to navigate the lies and deception, it is a birthright and means of navigating reality. God does not make mistakes, human are misguided by the outer conditions. Now had I had clear boundaries and healthy parents, and educated parents to use my inner knowledge and wisdom that was clearly trying to navigate my life, many, many things that I have experienced would have never happened to me.
See even with my intuition available to me, I was not truly listening. And sexual, control or abuse happens from lack of thought or knowledge. Why does this happen because we have parents who have never even thought about sex in a context other than an act, failing to teach it because they themselves have never thought about it, which of course, is in perverse everywhere from Kid's Channels to tik tok and let talk about co-morbid body dysfunction for what a woman is, what woman should look like, to fake krashians (misspelled on purpose) who are living some transverse disillusion of reality. And men have no bias here. To Gay adult people singing I am coming for your children in videos and wonder why people carrying a gun and gun violence everywhere. And we to claim that were Godly people. (orchestrated events) ie: riots, bombing, rally's, guns, mass violence) Sorry, my Rant.
God is not the problem, we are, the government is not going the fix this, and the UN/W.H.O is not going to fix it. Wars are not going to Fix it. Apparently with all the history we have on this planet killing solves nothing. We wonder why veterans are killing themselves and have PTSD and homelessness is like never before and were doing what to fix things. If I only have my words and this platform may god help us to look beyond our own ego and self-righteousness and put things in perspective. Because when I am on my knees outside of a court building asking what the bleep just happened, to have a restraining order to protect my children and myself and it is disregarded, to set in motion a profound loss of grief that has almost taken me out several times and realized that no one deserves that satisfaction of trying to take my life from me other, then God's will.
I know that I did come to the planet to sit idling by, watching, not having a moral compass for the compassion of any person, unless you cross me. To not speak my truth, I had my voice taken several times by the people in my life and by family and friends, courts and you know what playing small is the worst karma on the board of life. I see it in two ways: small people talk and create drama in their own lives and other people's lives, by not taking responsibility for their own shitz and people who think big are the change that needs to happen.
So what is the point of all of this, the guides and other people want to write my story and it is both horrific things and unbelievable at most that I have encountered. From feathers in the refrigerator, to smoke detectors going off, electronic toys, toilet flushing, to feathers in front my car, to roses that bloom in the dead winter or being pushed out bed, to the stories that I heard from other people in their own life and or 50-100 birds at different times show up in trees or the yard and or flying into window and so much more that I would have to spend a year alone to recount every weird, crazy incident that has become my life. So for me to write and relive some of this is overwhelming because some things, I am still trigger me and will continue to be, until they are healed because things are learned in hindsight of the why's. So for now I keep doing what I am doing until I am directed to do otherwise and the assistance that needs show up.
Oh, I asked the guides why all of this and argued with them that it is the dumbest thing. The simple answer is that not enough people were awake to remember back in the 70s, so as a soul/s we agreed to come here, in order to understand what people have been experiencing, and what many others have to heal in themselves, and the planet. Which is part of the planet's greatest illusion that life only exists on the earth, where do you think all this technology came from? That we have been destroying our planet since the Atomic Bomb and now Nuclear weapons and a call when out when it seen and realized that we could blow up the planet and all species that inhabit it. We are taught only humans have consciousness and science has proven otherwise. But easier to keep people blind to knowledge and then empower them, because then they can control you or your mind.
Other strange things that happened to me, almost flip off and crashed on a dirt bike, flipped off a jet ski, and a metal rod in my eye, I had OBEs/Bilocate, out-body experiences my whole life, twice, if not three possible near-death experiences, one where I could have drowned, second fell out two-story tree to see that I could have ended up in wheel-chair and two chases one on foot while camping in New Jersey, another by car, until I drove to the police station, after I was followed in my truck leaving a party. Thank God, most of this has stopped at this point. And there is more in previous writing. Do I always see spirits No but I do sense them, or when in a group.
So this is a brief summary again of my life. Why they want me to rewrite it is another story.
