07/10/26 I should not watch Videos ( My yammering, by own frustration)

I watched a video on "Minimalism".  Title: I Created a Home That Feels Safe Again!!!! - 

When did clutter become unsafe? This is not about the extreme, as in hoarding?  I think the bigger question here is, where are you out of control? Not having control, a clutter-free controlled environment, OCD obsession to clean, clutter, is to control the environment, stated I /we want to calm the nervous system by removing clutter, when the nervous system just wants you to stop, breathe, and listen to the body. Most people grew up with some type of control or chaos, etc., the entire world looks like it is out of control, and in chaos, but is it? Outside of the Media.

If you watch the news, any media, or even talk to people, it can be driven by fear-based thinking. The need to control the environment, to feel safe... These are childhood wounds manifesting in the present, as a mirror to be healed. The whole world is living in uncertainty, and you can not control all of it. You control the response to it. The need to have control is feeling you have no control, and stating you have no control over things outside of you, is realizing it within yourself, and where this comes from. (This conversation is addressing clutter only, but can very well address other issues)

As for Safe and not feeling safe, life is not guaranteed. As the title states above, "Home that feels not Safe", without the "not". As the question should be, why am I not safe at home? There can be numerous answers to why! Fear is the root cause. The whole system is built on fear, and realizing that it is fear, when it arises. We can state it is a mental health issue, but is it? It is a sign that we are out of alignment with ourselves and our heart; there can be real mental issues stemming from unprocessed thoughts, beliefs, and events that are buried in the subconscious. Until we acknowledge and process what we think or thought, they follow us like a yoke.

I have had these two issues and lived in uncertainty for the better part of two decades, and things that I could not have thought of on my own have happened in my life. I have just questioned it again this morning with the guides. With my hair falling out due to a reaction to a supplement that caused a severe allergic reaction, which I spoke about in another blog post.

When people ask this or that, and not knowing my story as to the whys or how, to where I will be in next month, will I run out of money again, this is also a common theme, too. And it said to me, If I am so knowledgeable, why am I not out there? Where is out there? It's a good question! I could say people don't pay me to think, they pay me to do, this of course, is outside spiritual awareness. I only know to question what I believe because I was taught by the guides to question my thinking. I did not get it at first, even as I channeled information.

I have had even being "seen", which I believe is not the true fear, and or maybe the many attacks or assaults, throughout my life, or past lives, to bring harm to me, which again, why would I or anyone do that to anyone, but again, look at our world and history. I really think it's about holding space for the energy of other people's stuff, and the fact that, whether I am a healer, empath, intuitive, channel, writer, human, or what have you, people don't want to look at their own stuff, or be responsible for their own actions.

In spirituality, if these statement would come up, and address as you are the creator of your reality without explaining it, versus you are soul and your soul came here to learn, and play in a reality that has been agreed upon on, at a soul level to create a different reality within the context of it individually and collectively, not that anything is separated from the whole of reality, awareness, consciousness.

If they look at it from the point of view that I am a creator being and created it to grow my soul. Forget about getting into whether it's a soul contract, karmic, or misalignment of thought. That will just as well drive you crazy, rather than accepting that all will be balanced out. When everything that we have learned up to this point is in question. You can not change your reality unless you challenge what you think!

This is when I think about what I would even say in a video or in person, that I don't already say here, or the questions that people would ask, that I may not know the answer to yet. To then question whether I trust the guides enough to give me the answers that I need, or for another person when it arises. When by all accounts have I been asking questions my entire life? I think that I have known my whole life that it would be chaos, just not this wild, crazy ass ride. Someone should have said, " Buckle up, baby, it's going to rough one," Joking aside. This is not about taking power by saying you have no control; it is about choosing what power it has over you. When we are led to believe control is power, when it is not.

7/06/26 Annoyed a lot ....

 I'm a little annoyed. Everyone who has a soul has innate abilities; it's up to you to redevelop them. If you are going to invest time and energy, do your research into spirituality, please! Look into whose, who have been doing it for years, not a newly awakened person. Unless that is the lesson. If anything, this information has always been available, going back beyond Atlantis, Mu, and many others, not yet known. I write this as I see new videos popping up and questioning whether empaths are psychic, and not question within themselves, as a person who has done self-inquiry. This goes for many modities. This is not a train you jump on lightly, or if it is a newfound hobby. Like many things, it is open to distortion, and if you have not even questioned the things that you have been taught, that nothing except humans exists as an apex, you find yourself ungrounded, and opening doors that you can't imagine. Not one single person's journey is exactly alike, and one should learn to meditate first and learn to question everything that they thought/think is/was real. 

It is out there, everyone is lucky, go happy, and ascending or enlightened, leaving the planet...yada yada...that is living a very real fantasy or disillusion, when that is far from the truth, some that I have seen should be in therapy for real concerns, even with tarot cards. Most days, I don't want to do it, and I was born this way. I have studied the shit out of it, so as not to send someone to the mental health unit or worse, commit suicide. Also, we have multiple generations that don't read, whether by choice or not able to, and want quick fixes via YouTube, IG, X, Fb, TikTok... if those are things, I would suggest not putting your focus on spirituality because it does not work the way you think, or as some present, it does.  

Ask to reference: New human - Channeled, you have to put in the search bar. 

6/24/26 Intuitive information

 This is a continuation of my last post, which was 6/26/26. -

 Everything is a spiritual journey; you just don't know it or remember it as such. 

6/24/26 Get Back by the Beatles? 

I also got Psyllium.  

6/26/26 Ubiquity- means that state of being everywhere at once. Me: Consciousness is ubiquitous because everything is consciousness. 

I had strange dreams, and all over the place. What I heard, "what about Debbie", I believe it is a spirit intruding in my sleep.  I don't know Debbie personally, maybe a message.

Anesthetized - 

Putnik? This came up twice- it is a gun silencer- I like what the puck. 

I was meditating and saw an image of three trucks, driving on a bend in the road, with a tree at the bend. I saw the first truck flip onto the grill of the truck, and I asked if there was anything else. I got $132K? 

6/29/26 During sleep, I showed the name or word, KANNDRA. Not sure if I am spelling it right. As I was sleeping, I didn't write it down right away. 

heard/saw Something about a Dating Appl. ?? 

Spectrograph- Splits light or electromagnetic radiation into it components wavelengths. I suggest googling to define. 

I heard that name, Alex. I again don't know anyone with that name. 

Song: Imagine Dragons -  Believer. 

I heard that if she has all this information, why is she here? "Boy, that good question". I think that was spirit talking over me when they don't realize I can hear them. This is not the first time that spirits have a conversation around me, and I am like I can hear you. I have also heard "they are fishing for information". I think this second response. Side note* you would think if a person passes and they were a busybody alive, that behavior stops as they cross over. They don't. 

6/30/26 Pink's song- Beautiful Trauma - message.  Actually, I got 6/24/26 too. 

7/01/26 Hearing, don't pay the ferryman? This is a song. I don't know if the song is for the song or a message. 

7/02/26 Name Tiffany? 

7/04/26 Image Of: An object in the air flying over a tree into a backyard, hitting a deck or second-story veranda, collapsing it, and falling into the backyard with an inground pool? I am not sure what the object is!

?? I have written in the past about fake pictures that are not real, which also applies to videos, too, now.  Those that don't have an AI symbol located on them. I think I also wrote that it would entail events presented by the news as real, when they are not. Which require discernment and the ability to distinguish fact from fiction. I don't have a way to index these things. The question is also this: is it Data theft, as a data breach, with content, making money off someone else's hard work, copyright, proprietary, livelihood, and misrepresentation of identity, to more complex, as stealing your life from you?  To even darker things.. ? 

Also, something that is mistakenly presented is that one day we all wake somewhere else, or everything with change over night, which is incorrect, as it is a progression of events. Whereas I have gotten years of points in time, up to 2050, from 2026 through 2032, to 2040, and it seems there is a gap from 2040, (2042 just got) -2050. That is a 25-year expansion plus, give or take. So, as guides state, just settle in and flow with it. Fear only creates more of what you don't want. 

06/30/26 Response to Tarot cards readings, and Lightning...

 I am not against tarot readers, first off. There is a question of given your power away, if relying on it solely without self-reflection.  If you are already a sovereign being, with innate abilities, and you have chosen a soul blueprint to experience reality, by free will of the blueprint for your souls growth, to experience life within the chosen family, ancestry, and karmic patterning, of belief, behaviors, indoctrination, and habits, than you are part of creation in the form of God, source, consciousness, all that is, even with a galactic heritage.

 Life acts as a mirror of what you believe or think, as you are creation, in itself, creating reality individually and collectively, as consciousness is creating reality.  You're taught to look for answers outside of yourself, instead of looking within by questioning what you were taught, what you believe, and what you were told about who you are. 

For example, if you were never taught colors, the sky could be green, and the trees blue. But ask a painter, or artist, and the sky is never just blue, or the trees never just green. These are labels of understanding taught in primary school that are never expanded upon. Now, if you had art teachers, they are taught to teach by the school curriculum, which, depending on the teacher, never explains why they taught it or what they taught. You told what to do it and follow directions. When anyone questioned the reason as to why? You found out pretty quick who had authority and power. Be it your parents, school, or whoever defined life to validate it. As we are taught to seek validation outside of ourselves, too. Again, from Family Dynamics, and this is not blaming parents because that's how it's been designed. Generation after generation. 

Another basic example: Book reports - You are asked to write a book report of what the book is about. Not what is learned from the book, a theme, lessons, or concepts, explore characters, plots, etc., just to read and rewrite that book in a summary. 

* You are the book in form, yet are expected to take in information that is given without questioning it, for yourself. This is not completely your fault; you are taught from a very young age not to question reality, school, parents, societal norms, as in " this is how we do it". This same conditioning is happening on media platforms, or the need to fit in, conditioned separation, via ask GPchat for answer, what people say on IG, TikTok, and even ask AI, even further, religion, and country, state, blue, red, and liberal...etc. 

Essentially, given your power away, by not questioning whether this works for the whole of humanity. YouTube is driven by an algorithm informing your recommendations based on search or clicking on titles. Again, informing you based on what you are thinking. Have you ever clicked on a title, and it has nothing or little to do with the title's uses? You, as a conscious/ness being, inform reality, and reality mirrors you. Unless you challenge what you think and believe, life is always mirroring to you or to another, because there is no separation between either one. 

All to separate from your own self-awareness to seeking external validation, versus uniting different aspects of the whole. These are technological tools, but not always used that way ??? The conditioning started a long, long time before your birth. You inherited it within the structure of reality. Again, all labels of things, people, places, etc.. Without question, who, what, when, why, and how... Basic questions, taught in grammar school. Just imagine that every generation has had its own conditions, and that requires a larger explanation, but I am not going down that rabbit hole, as to why.  Growth is inwards, not outwards. 

We have been conditioned to believe that everything is someone else's fault, without taking responsibility for our own knowing. It is easy to be the victim of circumstance, and there are things that are circumstantial, but if you're a source of creation, do you not have a voice, do you not care about the well-being of yourself or others, is love not who you are? 

06/26/26 Intuitive

Heard  06/01/26 the Buctan? I looked for a reference and couldn't find anything. Maybe Yucatan? I may have misunderstood. I don't think so, but I guess see when it showed.

06/02/26 hearing Fly Away Lenny Kravitz - message 2x's I may have posted in the last intuitive post. Message

Heard the name, Alessandro  

6/03/26

Heard Movement? Not sure of the reference. I have written about Movement in the past, which is searchable in the search bar. 

The guides said to me about the Empath that I developed as a survival mechanism to cope in a world that did not accept me. This came about because I saw several posts that Empaths are not natural. I am like, what! Because I am empathetic for as long as I can walk and talk. I questioned whether it is truly intuitive for hypersensitivities to turn inwards to cope. I am still not clear on it. 

Here is the post regarding the types of empaths: Ok, it is too long to post. You can look it up in the search bar. 

6/05/26 

Song Freedom by George Michael, several times - I may have posted this. 

06/07/26 

Not sure I woke up to this or why I wrote it, Bumblebee? looking at it under glass??/  

Heard:  Into the Lion's Den? Google states is a popular idiom referring to a dangerous, hostile, or highly challenging situation where a person is left vulnerable or alone against multiple adversaries. There is a Bible reference depending on your faith.

06/08/26 Something with 3I atlas ? 

6/09/26 Heard: Not our job to take on human suffering, yet we do!  This relates to the Empath, as an intuitive, healer, and lightworker (several modalities), energy, Reiki, and others. 

6/09/26 Doubting Thomas - not sure if it bible reference or a joke reference. 

So I had two encounters with beings, one I don't remember what it looked like, and the other one, a female, handed me the Celtic golden spirals. Which I have to look into more. 

You want to break the Matrix, break the Box that you've been put into. 

6/10/26

heard Coolio - Fantasy Voyage? Message? (this is when songs pop in your head) I don't know if connected to the song, the date the singer died, 10/28/22 

heard- Interstellar Travel

heard 6/11 and again on 6/13, Something about Capitulate- To surrender by agreement to stop resisting an opponent, give in, or previously opposed too. Not sure why the guides gave me this word. 

I was given Valhalla, which is a reference to Norse Mythology, and Odin. Which I don't know anything about. There is a Valhalla, NY, strangely enough.  There is Rockefeller State Park, yet cost to park, within minutes of. Also, there are Gates to Heaven with the burial of Babe Ruth, but I keep hearing Gates of Hell. Omg. Not sure why I given it, since you have be Rockefeller to live near there. Just messenger. 

 6/11/26 I kept saying randomly - They're like the Mad Hatter? message!

I also woke up to hear Base/space? I was not shown anything, just the words. 

heard Rage Against the Machine! refers to opposing, defying, or protesting against established systems, i.e., governments, big business, or control groups. OR a Band? Not sure of context/ use. I can see both ways as a message/ statement. 

heard Self-evident- need no proof. 

I saw in a meditation- Twin girls or very close in age. Playing at a coffee table with Legos, Mom's eating a candy bar, they are arguing over the Legos- one said to the other about eating Mom's Candy bar.  I believe this is a message, it is too specific. 

I said, " Why, no idea! Sheep to the slaughter. This is an expression/idiom and a Bible phrase? Not sure of the reference. Since it has several possible context uses. 

Queen fan? Mama, I killed a man. I looked up the song's meaning it's about killing an old self, parts that are not real about yourself. 

6/13/26 Again, Boca Raton? I am hearing money, money in my head. 

I heard that song in my head- From the Big movie, Shimmy, shimmy koko pop, message? I hearing put the date, the original song by the Imperials, was 1959. 

6/14/26 saw the word Supernova? 

heard - Neurodivergent- not sure why they gave me this word, because it is used to describe groups of people. 

6/16/26 I heard- Lifting the darkness to the light. Secrets, lies, hiding from the public view, truths. 

6/17/26 song- Lady Marmalade? I heard a Pink's version of it? Not sure of the reference. 

heard Gale force winds 

heard- Papa got a Gun? I am not sure if message or a song. I could not find a song with that title or reference. 2x's 

6/18/26 Undulate - wave pattern, up and down motion, flowing, swaying...

heard - Dallas 

6/20/26 So I was questioning something, no idea what at the moment. But I heard it is a mental construct, created in the mind. I believe I was questioning the use of other people using the matrix, holograph, or simulation to explain without explaining its use of it, in a video. When people assume that people understand. I am not going to try to explain it, it's quite heady and head-f/puck. This gets into how you are the creator of your reality, manifestor/manifesting always. Ok, I don't want to be like the video. I will attempt a simple example: you're going to work, you forget something, you go back in to get it, you get upset, you're late to drop off the kids, late to work, you spill your coffee at work because you rushed into work. You don't want to hear it from your boss, creating a chain reaction of events, to have a bad day because you're already thinking or stated it bad day. When the fact is what happened before all these events. There are several reasons, one, the kids could not find their shoes, two, the universe steps in, you avoid an accident, or you're not present in the moment, your over-organized list of things was destroyed by trying to over-control events. There are thousands of reasons why this happens; it's up to you to figure it out or not. The real question is, what did I learn from it? Because it's not about the events. This is more complex, but a general example. (this maybe redacted and revised at a later date)

hearing the song- Shake down, break down your bust it. I see this as an event exposed. 

I am hearing dodo? not sure if the bird, slang, or idiom.. I first thought that it was the bird, which is a good question, why I think a bird, and since it has not existed since the 17th century, maybe it is connected to the Island of Mauritius in the Indian Ocean. I guess wait and see. 

6/15/26 My Ramblings of when People say I wish I could do what you do:

And my first thought is, why? Because, as glamorous as videos and Hollywood would make it seem, along with other people, who make it out to be. It is far from the whole truth. I sit with things that I know about, meaning the dark stuff of child abuse, child rape or violation, or violence by the parent, husband, sibling, or boyfriend. Or other gnarly stuff done without someone's consent. Much less a cheating spouse or even seeing an illness or death that has already been written. It's not all, Mom, or Dad, whoever has passed over, and certainly not about lottery numbers, because there would be no need for me to work.  (This is only a small description of my encounters) 

I don't know if it shows when someone is reading tarot cards in front of you. I had people read for me or use tarot cards to say things to me, to question whether it happened because they said something to me or because I didn't listen to my own knowing, and created karma by disempowering myself, or leave in tears because of how it was presented without any tact. As for a video per se, most of the readings are for a general audience. I question the ethics on some, and there are 8.2 billion people on the planet, the last time I checked. The likelihood that someone speaking verbatim and directly to you, through a tarot card reading via YU video, is that you are more likely to be struck by lightning. Jokingly, I don't wish that on anyone. Side note: There may be a question of created reality, like deja vu, beforehand, because it is always manifested in the present moment. (this maybe redacted and revised at a later date)

 I see some people speaking about telepathy, which is all well and good, but are they teaching the difference between various beings that are out there because it is not all light, as they would have you think. Or what about hearing random information, like they're an alcoholic, there's not a good person, they use people, or what about illness, they're lying to you and themselves. Even things like don't buy that car or sign that contract. 

I think about these things as I watch or listen to someone speak in a video or the various manifesting videos telling you if you believe hard enough, it will happen for you, or what about your soul's blueprint, maybe you're not supposed to be a famous person, or you want wealth and chasing it, leading you in the wrong direction, chase something that's not really important, in the scope of things. 

Or the newest one, you're here to change the world, well, that's a very large shoe to fit into and solve world problems. Our governments can't even work together.  Maybe just try to treat people and yourself with love and kindness, and no, you're not here to love everyone. Even with the knowledge that all is from the one source, or loving yourself first, and maybe not in a narcissistic way, maybe try being yourself for a while, if you even know what that is. Maybe learning to set clear boundaries and not trying to fix the world, because trying to fix the world or people is saying that they are not a sovereign being living out their own soul blueprint and their choice for this life. As guides have said your not here to save people from suffering. 

I am saying not this because I don't want people to not do it, but because there are burdens that come with this work, and as fairy, magical, and lighthearted as people make it out to be, it comes with huge responsibility. Because if I could go back, I would do an about-face and say, "Thanks, but no thanks." That apparently is not my soul's calling in this life. And I spend the better part of my life trying to understand my innate gifts, clear the crap that is on-going that I've gone through before and after. To sit here and say, "How do you teach people to do this work for themselves?" When I have been trying to figure it out for over two decades, myself. That is before I knew that books even existed, which, unlike other people had knowledge of or even been taught about. You don't learn this work in a day, week, or even a year. I would not even suggest it in five years, because it is on-going. 

To question what hell am I doing because by all accounts my life has not improved, more like destroyed it, and then some, to become smaller when I realized that the world is a pretty messed-up place. To what, then, you have changed, but the world has not, and looks pretty rough with all the distractions that do not account for providing for a life that is gone, in a world that is working backwards against itself. 

I should also mention that when the door blew open after my son's birth, I was overwhelmed by it, not prepared in any way for what was happening to me.  Even to this day, I feel unprepared and numb by it all at times. I am now calling it spiritual noise, wondering whether it's worth it to continue, trying to do this work. I sit here with no real idea where it is going, and I can't decide whether I am overwhelmed with it because of dealing with one thing after another. 

All I wanted was to work from home, and where I live now, I would never call it home. I wanted to be there for my children, and that was taken from me by the courts, the system. Friends and family, as well as partners, are all part of the destruction of my life, and there are just too many fake people to have to weed through them to bother, or I find that people have no idea how to connect on a deep soul level. I get it, people don't know emotional intimacy, because your parents had no clue, and who knows how far back it goes, or life gets busy. We don't practice sharing emotions or over-sharing because we learned to stuff so far down, or for drama, for lack of attention, or martyr ourselves, that we are afraid of feeling the emotions of them and ourselves.

 We have no idea how to be present with people, and much less with ourselves. The old adage " get it done, and move on". I think well, if you're not present for people and not present with your partner or kids, are you present in your own life? Then again, this is the pitfall of the empath, because we feel too much, or is it a natural inclination as humans? Due to no clear boundaries, due to poor parenting, or due to society, social platforms, and media's conditions. Something that I have been questioning recently. 

This may be because I feel the intent of use of the wording and its projection by people speaking out about it, using the Empath and Avoidance (not sure if using the narcissist as the avoider, now) by Carl Jung as a gateway for explaining generations of a dysfunctional society, but what do I know! I gave up being a counselor when teachers argued that mind-body separation still exists, and it dates back to the 17th century with Descartes, who argued that there is a connection, which I think has been taken out of context, that there is a spiritual soul aspect to you and life. Maybe it is religious dogma to keep you separated from yourself, versus as in " know thyself".  And what does that really mean! Since you have been told who you are or projected who you are since coming into the world. And maybe that's where we should start, the beginning of all the things that you're not. 

I am hearing to post this, but feel at the same time it is incomplete. I added to it, took things out and away, and biased with my opinions on things, and not always positive on things, as they are presented by others. But that has not been my experience, and I think it should be presented as such. This is not taught in a video, TV segment, or really spoken about. 

6/10/26 Disclosure

 I read a lot. The Thiaoouba prophecy book is something that crossed my path. I don't get commission, sponsorship, or funds of any kind. With that said, this book is on YouTube, missing chapters, but available and readable online, via Amazon, or in hard copy. 

Now, since we are disclosure, and books like this are never going to be provided via the government or media, by the science community, or the likes of anyone in power, why tell you, because they can control you and your mind. It sounded better in my head as a creepy, eerie voice. Joking aside, if anything, it is an interesting read. You believe what you want or educate yourself or not. I am a messenger and not trying to sway you either way. That is not my job. 

6/13/26 

I went to see the movie Disclosure. A few years back, I had gotten that there would be a movie explaining where we come from. I'm not sure if this movie fits the bill in that sense. I tried looking in my writing, but being that there so much material, it pulled everything that was listed with a movie or message. Back to the movie, it has only been an hour since I left the theater, and twice I almost cried, and have mixed emotions as to why, feeling vindicated, acknowledged, high strangeness, home, and realizing that this movie is like a soft opening, whether you believe in it or not, as in other beings existing. 

As to why the mixed emotions, I think it has to do with not feeling crazy, even though I know I am not. Having only realized yesterday that I am an experiencer, whether by soul blueprint or choice. To question how many generations forward and back does this goes within my family and fear ridicule. Also, whether it also applies to the military background with the ancestry. In the movie, animals are used as contact (sorry, spoiled), now I had a stag deer appear in front of me, like right out of Harry Potter in my living room, and I was like wtf. This was after an encounter with two child beings, whom I also encountered. As I am watching the movie, I am like ok was it presented as Stag or another being?  Or even when a groundhog came within three feet of me recently. Someone said groundhogs are mostly blind; I don't care. Animals know whether humans are near or when a storm is going to hit; that's why you don't see them, for their use of innate abilities. Something humans are losing touch with. For me, it is asking more questions. (And some are just animals)

I have previously written about the Stag and two children, which is searchable in the search bar. I have on numerous accounts tried to get answers by going to several hypnosis facilitators to encounter whether it is their ego, or leaving feeling ungrounded and not in my body, to having someone get upset for me to pick a single event, which is more plentiful and abundant, had they questioned me more beforehand, and not lead with an such an open question, as I was walking through traumatic events one after another. As I continue to search for a credible person to take me through a lot of whys in my life, to apply some of what I know to help me and others, outside of this blog. 

All this came about by listening to my intuition, because I like I already know why do I need to see it, the movie. Well, I am glad I did. Even knowing there will be people who don't believe until it is in their face, or not.  

I previously had mixed feelings about tarot cards, in that you are giving your power away to someone else, versus listening to yourself. 

I also want to note: two other writings, one about Mirrors and the other Masks, life is always mirroring to you or something about you.