Konon:kwe Rotinonnia (Women's Dance) Traditional Iroquois Women Singers

Women's Honoring Song

The Voice Within : 10/31/15 Why I started writing

The Voice Within : 10/31/15 Why I started writing: I started really writing 11 plus years ago, because I needed an outlet for my thoughts and why yet again I was starting over again...

10/31/15 Why I started writing

10-31-15 Why I started writing

I started really writing 11 plus years ago, because I needed an outlet for my thoughts and why yet again I was starting over again. It seem that every relationship that I encounter had a shelf life. They never seem to grow with me in any form that I felt I wanting to go in my life. Here I was again letting go of someone that was not making me happy. Looking back now it was not them, it was really me. I was not happy because I want more for myself. I want freedom to just be no matter what. 

We grow-up with this idea or programming that if we get a good job and we meet the one who loves us, that that all we need. What a bunch of crap that is, honestly that may have work in the past, but it does not work for me. See I always have these ideas and inspiration that call to me. It may be I want to understand why people think that way they do or why they believe that unless you have some type socially acceptable job. That you are not doing anything that qualify as work. 

See I have worked in many fields and they all involved working with people or the public. Funny as it may be, my jobs and relationships have about the same shelf time. They all seem to be about two and half years and then I out grow them either financially or just out of boredom. Now I have not figure out why they have a time frame of about two years and whatever amount months attached to them. I just know it exists.

So at the same that my life was falling apart. I started questioning why I kept that the same types of relationship with the people who showed up in my life. I have no idea why, but I was going to get to the bottom of it. At the same time that my life was dissolving around me, I started have dreams about accidents and see people who I would see as other people in this dream. Or I would get these feeling that there people in my house or feeling about people in general. Now I have always believed in what is coined supernatural. It always been around me, I never really discussed it because I found that when I did say something that family, friends and people would dismiss it. I really never thought about these gifts, because I did not know that everyone else could see them, until I kept being told that they were not there. I could not understand why people would tell they were there, when I could see them.

I remember my first book that crossed my path with I was looking for answers, it was about co-depend relationship by Mia something. I have since lost the book, along a lot of things, since that day that I ended that relationship. Basically that book went into how we get into relationship that are dysfunction because of our own worth. We don’t get into healthy relationship that equally are balanced. It not that I knew that I getting into unhealthy relationship, it because of lack of knowledge to think that we deserve better.

 If you really think about relationships what was your first relationship experience. Now most will think about that first relationship that you thought was the one, but was it.See your first relationship was your mother and father and their relationship. See over time we forget about what type of relationship that we witness growing up. Hell most of can’t remember that far back, unless we really think about or have a reason to think about.

 Now I have realized that I was doing exactly as my parents did. I am sure they had no idea what we witness as children. That we would follow that exact path into our adult lives. Did my parents love each other, I am sure they did on some level. This then lead me into where did they learn about relationships. Did my grandparents have the same behavior and patterns? 

And how many life times did this affect my life in the current moment. So as I trying to understand what was happening to my life and visions that I saw in my sleep. I was unearthly more questions, then I would get an answer. And as soon I had an answer to one question, it lead to another question.

So here I am looking for my life questions and have these dream world coming to life. See the dreams were not just dreams, they would happen and I they would play out in my daily life. I would see or hear about the dreams from other people or see it in the news. And the people who show up in my dreams would be about people that I would knew in real life. If I had a friend with blond hair they would be a blond hair person in my dream. Sometime these dreams would play out the next day or over a few months or even year later. So in order for me to understand what was happening I started writing things down! I need too, I could not keep track of them. Nor could I understand why it was happening to me. Was I going crazy or was losing it all together. 

Here I am, my life that I knew was changing and falling away and this other side of my life that I really never paid any mind too and even forgotten about was taking on a life of its own. So now when I write, I can track were I been, what I have experienced, learned and researched. And even though I had have many blessing along the way. I have also encountered what I term Pandora box because I have encounter the worst of people and situations along the way. Literally, when you change and the people who you thought were there for you; all fall way and you are with left you. 

Where do you go from there? I went online because I found that there is about 300,000 people who have experienced similar things, if not more than I have in the short 11 years of doing research on myself and my gifts and if I help one person that all that matters. Because if it was for the random people, books, workshops and paying attention to my own intuition and myself I really don’t know where I be. May be cleaning up another relationship that was not working for me. I can honestly say without a doubt that I truly happier knowing that I am traveling my own path. Even when the road gets shaky I have the freedom to just be as I am. I hope that with honoring my truth that you begin to searching for your own truth of who you really are you never know where the path leads.

You Get More Beautiful

The Voice Within : Blaming and complaining: 10/28/15

The Voice Within : Blaming and complaining: 10/28/15: Blaming and complaining: 10/28/15 I come to the realization that people complain or vent as I see fit, because somehow we suppos...

Blaming and complaining: 10/28/15

Blaming and complaining: 10-28-15

I come to the realization that people complain or vent as I see fit, because somehow we supposed to know all the answers. Now when I young I believe everything should be equal. That meant all responsibility. Now I have fallen into cliché just as much another person. Were raised to prefect little girl and do as were told. Don’t create problems, sit there, be quiet and dream of your prefect life. The princess and prince, then wham reality hits. You now have become your mother or father.

 Now depending on your individual situation, or like mine. You were not that prefect little girl. You played in the dirt, you may have even climbed trees or ran with the boys because it was more interest and there was always adventure to be had. I am not saying that I did not have my moments with my dolls or playing with other girls. It was not the same by far. See with the boys, I did not have to be prefect or stay quiet and still, like what was expected. I tried to be just like them, except I knew the limits of what was really stupid or just out right dangerous. Yes, I was consideration annoying by my brother, but when I face things that challenge me, I take the time to remember the times when I was on these adventure or just challenging myself, because I did not want to seem like a “girl” with the boys; even though I was girl. It seems so far away now that I have moved on from being that girl with boys that these men who once push me to face my fears, are the ones who have forgotten that boy, who really did stupid things to prove that had no fears. And instead facing their true emotions, that it’s easier to blame a woman or man in their life for all of life’s problems, we have responsibility to ourselves to challenge our beliefs.

See we have the best of both worlds, if they had two parents or one. They taught you to be soft and gentle, the other side of parent push you against the world, and anyone who challenged you. See by age seven you already knew what you would be facing as adult. Depending on your story you were either push to be more or taught to sit back quietly and just sit there waiting for life to happen. See as women or young girls we are often not seen as powerful creator, even though we give life or emotionally support more than we received at most times. I can’t name any women who sit all day, with constantly thinking about the present or of the future. Always reflecting back on what has been experience up to any point, in her life. 

I think the only time we stop is when we are ill or experiencing someone that push us to find another solution to a problem, or just letting it be for now. Now I not a man so I can’t speak for that gender, nor would I want to, I really don’t know and to assume that I know would be ignorance on my part. I do know that there was a woman or man, somewhere in their life who gave to be there for them in some form or another. I often wonder if they think about that person who no matter what, found the time to put aside whatever they were doing to just listen and love them. Or would they blame them for all their problems that they created in their adult life.

 It’s funny in way that whomever that special person was a mother, grandmother, aunt and even a neighbor's mom, or your father, that they would not think of blaming them for their relationship issues, money issues, stresses at work or their own children, yet we blame the people that are around us. And they wonder why people complain, because as people, we know that they were not left to fend for themselves, there was always someone, even if their name wasn’t Mom/or Dad.

 See while trying to understand why there are people walking around in the world blaming other people for complaining and all the problems that they may be facing, I think about the ones who wiped their tears, cover their cuts with a bandage and put them to bed each night, so that they could come so far in life that it come down to neglecting our own feelings, from ourselves. And people who do who stand beside them now, even if it still Mom or Dad, would not think of blaming you for their problems. So the next time you feel like blaming or complaining about a life, remember who took care you. They did not do it because of life stresses they did it because they cared and loved you.

In light love, find balance within to remember that you’re never alone in this journey called life.