Getting Real 1-30-17

          Getting Real 1-30-17

           Over the last few months I have been doing some serious purging and not just the stuff around my house or in my closets. I been purging my life. Trying to minimizing things like clutter, feeling organized and previewing where I have been and where I want to actually be in my life. I have felt my guides pushing me to speak because I have a tendency to close off when things aren’t going the way I like. It’s never about me have nothing to say or choosing to say nothing, it’s that someday there is more to say then other days.

I have been feeling a push to speak about the people I encounter and mostly like my own adventure in life. This past Saturday I sat down and wrote 20 pages of crap that has been bother me or that I have encountered. Starting with an Ex. that will not move on from me walking away. I won’t go into the details on the drama of it all. But, it’s been 12+ years. It is story that would make a good soap opera of sorts, with all twist and turns. Needless to say he been my worst enemy and the most influence in seeing parts of myself that I did not know existed. It really sad when people do the worst things to people out of love.

See I walked away from a relationship that I need to be in because I didn’t realize that I was attracting the wrong type of men or even relationship in general. Each relationship had a pattern to it. These were toxic, controlling, co-depend and alcohol abuse or verbal and then a physical abuse part to them. I had to own that they were part of me and that I had to realize that I was repeating my childhood. As child and empath that saw things and knew things without fully understand them, most of the time. I learned early on to be quiet about them or told that I did not know what I talking about. And this is also a pattern that has followed me my whole life. I can’t tell you how many times that I have been told that I was wrong or even verbal or physical attacked by people.

There is too many to count anymore. It’s amazing that when we don’t understand something or someone we attack people as wrong or any of the adjective the dictionary holds or we make up.  I have had this notion in me, since I was small that it’s not supposed to be this way. This world is as beautiful as the people around us. It’s taking a long time for me to remember it and actual get it. I was reminded of this yesterday. It’s uncanny that are blind spots and healing go hand in hand. I watched a mother and her son walking to a neighbor’s apartment. The other woman that she was walking towards to speak with said, to the little boy” why are you so upset”. Now I have witness this little boy, who is maybe four get yelled at for whatever reason and I understand that children can be difficult because I have two of own. The thing with his little boy is he’s is average size child living with a mother and two siblings who are little people.

I have observed this little boy numerous times being scolded and not the kind that warrants this type of behavior. I often pray for him and then yesterday I said to my guides please help the mother see what she doing to this child. See we never fully understand our action until we see it for ourselves. I thought to myself what could happen to this child and then what has happened to me. We see our family and friends travel down paths that do not have a good ending. Here is this little boy who is being ridicule from the beginning.  Now you can just image where this little boy will be in a few years from now. We wonder why people get involved with drugs and alcohol or the wrong people. Aren’t we all looking to belong and be loved. It starts somewhere and mostly times it passes from generation to the next one and on and on it goes.

If I look back on my own life I can see the mistakes and the wrong turns and the one’s I completely avoided. We are all looking for family and friends to connect too. Who love us for being who we are. I have had to make some hard choices to walk away from people who were my family and take responsible that I lived from a place of other people belief’s. If there is one lesson that I could teach anyone is that you have to love and support your-self regardless of what others may think of you or say to you. If you don’t have people who truly love and support you, you need to look at what life is telling you. It a shame that we as society we have not learned from history and continue down these paths. I think I said enough for now. I will leave you will this are you really any different than any other one person. We all could have been born into a life that demands us challenge who we are as a person.

On another note people are always looking for their calling in life here a guide sort of: If you love what you do and you lose track of time when you doing it (and watching TV or playing on the computer, even video games does not count, unless have a calling in the that direction, and you will know) you are most likely following what your heart calling you to do. See when working on anything that creates a form of meditating or trace type when you are giving energy to what you love, and you are completely focus on what you are doing. You’re on the right track.

See mediation has such neglect attachment to it, because it was about doing yoga or sitting in a cave or on the floor in crisscross position. It can be done that way, but it’s really about get quiet and stopping the mind chattering in every direction. We been taught to be noisily. Just listen to clock ticking by or cars outside or wind blow and making the trees move. Listen to the dog bark in the distance or neighbor play the TV too loud because they stop listen even to themselves. How would it feel to know that you were here on this planet to help yourself be the best possible person you could be! And are you living it and you help people along the way, even better.

Visions of Monster's

1-30-17 Visions of Monster's

Just a drink ..

So from time  to time, I have vision of things. I don't call them dreams anymore because they are too real. So this morning I had a vision of a tweet: I don't follow tweeter so I don't know in and out of it, but any who! There man in suit, young 30-45. He was  CEO or some important in chair or on a air plane tweeting someone  about the monster drink.

The tweet went like this : off to meeting about Monster drink to talk about selling it to 3rd class people, who don't no what in it. Like it was a big joke. 

Now I know from these vision that I, pay attention to them, because they play out. So if someone could let me that would be great.

Also a Orange Truck work with a trailer or machinery attached making a k-turn or turning around runs into a pole. The pole ends up going through the engine or the front end of trunk. It could be a metal pole or telephone pole. It kinda looked like a wood cutting truck that take the branches down from the power lines.

Happy Monday -

Looking for Special Gift or Something sweet made with Love for Holiday

dorianoconnell - Esty Sweet Pastry 

http://101sweetpastry.com/about/

https://www.etsy.com/shop/dorianoconnell

Handmade cookies,marshmallows, meringues and gift boxes

 Pottstown, Pennsylvania 177 Sales On Etsy since 2012

5 out of 5 stars

 

 

 

 

 

(56)

 Favorite shop (329)

SHOP OWNER

Dorian O'Connell

 Contact

Dessert Club was started in 2013 in Boulder, Colorado by Dorian O’Connell who has more than 16 years of experience in culinary arts to produce a distinctive line of desserts. Dessert Club has been featured in the Boulder Daily Camera Newspaper, Yellow Scene Magazine, and Edible Front Range Magazine. She then moved her business to Pennsylvania.

Dorian started working in restaurants at age 14.  Dorian graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, New York. 

Dorian sought out Andrew Shotts at Garrison Confections and earned a position as Assistant Chocolatier. She traveled to France as part of Team USA for the Coupe du Monde de la Patisserie, the worldwide greatest competition for pastry professionals. The team took Bronze in the 2005 World Championship. 

Also in 2005, Dorian entered the annual U.S. Pastry Competition, America’s most prestigious pastry competition. Twenty rising stars of the pastry world are selected to compete each year and showcase their talents by creating advanced dessert and chocolate bonbon recipes exhibited along with highly technical sugar and chocolate sculpted showpieces. Dorian won the title of 2005 Pastry Chef of the Year.

Dorian then took the position Assistant Pastry Chef at the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas working under Chef Frederic Robert. 

She has appeared on television numerous times. Dorian’s work was shown on the back cover of Le Jouranal de Patisserie and in numerous other magazines. Dorian then took the position as Thomas Keller’s Pastry Chef at Bouchon Bakery in Napa Valley.

Dorian interned with the French Laundry and worked at one of the top restaurant in the country. Dorian contributed and collaborated in cookbooks Ad Hoc with Thomas Keller and  Baking and Pastry: Mastering the Art and Craft with Culinary Institute of America.

Dorian has worked in a bakery in Toronto,Canada for the two years before coming to Boulder. Currently, Dorian is  building her business Boulder Dessert Club and Sweet Pastry. She has been featured on Channel 9 News in Denver and in numerous magazines and newspapers in Boulder surrounding area.

What’s  my favorite dessert? Well, it changes depends on my mood and my cravings. pick one But, I would have to say anything chocolate or fruit. Passion Bonbons, Dark Chocolate Mousse Cake, Almond Frangipan, Creme Brûlée, Lemon Tart, Homemade Oreos, and the list goes on.

Watch me in action on Channel 9 News

Who do we think we are - 11/22/2016

Who do we think we are  - 11/22/2016

You know one the hardness things to work through is am I good enough. It sad to think that our lives we work through until the end. Do what is expected of us and starting our own family; all the while we never give ourselves permission to just be. From the time were born into boxes of sorts. We’re compared to a sibling or the neighbor’s children, to friends or our family. We self-identify with people from the beginning. Never really experiencing ourselves. We not taught or shown that it ok to be “you”. So what if don’t do everything like everyone else. Who cares if you are not smartest person or that we live in a world that sees people as different.

We basically all want the same thing. We want to be happy and loved. And to love whatever that is. If we listen to media or any form of society, we will never be what they want. It is impossible! But it never about you, in the sense that your here on this beautiful planet with all its wonder to create whatever you desire. From the trees to mountains and everything in between. Yet, we allow everything to dictate to us from the outside in. Questions, like why am I here? Who am I? Why do I like this or that? Why did I choose my family and what lesson have I learned? Or why is this relationship so painful and who else have I had the same experience with and why is it showing up? Am I more than my family and friends have told me about myself! See we really never learn about ourselves. We wait until some trial or hardship, illness or accident; as well as death to really look at what is going on in life.

We never question our own beliefs about who we are. We taught that were not individual within a family, that family should come first or that working hard required more effort than is necessary. We taught that in order to be happy you have to do a, b, c and have this degree or that master's to be happy. What about working towards being happy and loving ourselves and other people. We all know that live is not sugar plums and gum drops. That every day we're faced with more emotions and choices of people from the time were get out bed to when we retire for the night, and then we let the day wander into our down time when we should be at rest and sleeping. As the saying goes “yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet”.  We cannot worry about what has not happened yet, if that was true we all be mind readers, not that we can’t already mind read.

The only thing that separates people is their beliefs, language and what we think about ourselves or any other person on the planet. It’s like looking up a recipe for chicken each culture has a chicken dish. It, not the one you were raised with but it still chickens; nonetheless. See your personal choice is what decide what you like or dislike or whether you are capable of seeing something new or similar to another person. When your children or nieces, nephew ask why is that person different, what do you tell them? They reference people by what they see and what you tell them. They question because it’s not what their use too. Do you know that you can go anywhere on this planet or either your same state or county and people will see you difference because they don’t know you! From the smallest town to the largest city. People identify with what they know unless of course, you took the time to learn about people or traveled to understanding everywhere is the same. It what you been taught that separates one from another.

Fundamentally, we each have a body or form of some type, we all have blood, cells and are made of organic material. Yet, we don’t know who we are or that were all the same. I have never heard a child grown up and say I want to be poor or homeless. Or be a hater of people. We have learned it by our history books, family and friends, and society, yet at the very core, we know that we are alike and difference at the same time that is what makes us who we are.

I remember being really young and knowing that this is not the way it supposed to be and it’s been a journey to unlearned some painful experience, beliefs, and behaviors that were taught to myself. Yet, every day I learned that the more I look at people we are the same, regardless of the current situations and that no-one can say that they did anything with the help of another because there always people looking out for our best interest seen or unseen. It up to all of us to make the choice of where we see each other as humans. ©

Happy Giving Thanks, Day ..gobble gobble … 

The Voice Within : Fighting for what you believe! 10/02/16, updated

Fighting for what you believe! 10/02/16

 

I have not written in few weeks. I have been pretty busy with school and work. I decide to write because I do love learning about all kind of things and get discourage in the fact that some people in the profession take it for grant that not everyone processes information the same way, as everyone else. And I am one of them. I have to be able to relate the information or at least draw on another experience to process the information. It becomes difficult when I am unable to relate to the material that is being presented. I bring this up because I am currently studying history, even with my personal feeling aside history has always been difficult for me when someone is teaching it to me.

 

It always amazed me that in an hour class or that someone who (a teacher) could fully expected anyone person to understand the material they presented and then have to recall, such material verbatim. Now I remember even as child that my teacher would teach or talk to us about some part of history and know that it was wrong regardless of it being in a book or not. The fact is that history is based on people who were educated on some level. Education was seen on level by the social status or people in power not necessary by common people and on many occasions, I have gotten this gut reaction that information presented is in fact just wrong. But we are taught to accept it as fact, because it written in book or a teacher or professor is teaching it to us. This bring me to the incident at hand. I had a quiz on this past Friday and was removed from the class because I apparently did not hear my teacher say that we could not use a certain guide for our terms.

 

Now regardless of the misunderstanding, it took me back to grade school where I was made to feel stupid for not knowing the answers to the question or questions, when asked. Now I know that there are things that I am very good at and there are things that need more time to ingest. I now have several options to fix the problem that I encountered in class. What amazes me the most is that I am paying for my education and even when I was younger my parents were playing through taxes for me to get an education and yet we are continuously failing are children or young adults, even on a college level because we sit in a class with a teacher or professor who has spent their entire career researching this same material because in their own gut or knowing they needed to research this very same material.

 

Then they expect people to repeat what they learned in years of research in less time then it took them. I am at a standstill, as to what I want to do with my re-test. I was offer to take my test at another time, which I now have to change my schedule or miss work to prove that I in fact know the information that this person gave in class. The problem with this for me is that history is riddled with the same thing over and over again. People in power, great battles for power or wealth over people, people enslaved, trying to control the masses and people thoughts and beliefs, women treated as an object versus a person, free will, to poverty, homelessness and despair. It just repeating its self over and over again. And we still can’t cannot get it right and can we never.

 

Even religious doctrine has these same dogma as history. Even as I consider my thought and beliefs of what I should do about my test to prove that I can repeat my teachers or the book version of history and consider whether my job will depend on whether I tell an employer about the history of Sumerian or the Spartan’s, or does it really matter whether I treated another soul with the respect they deserve or even myself with the love the care that we all seem to be looking for and that we all deserve and the details of life is what it is and were just in it, for a belief time.

 

I should tell you the entire time I am writing this I am walking back forth between the laundry room at my complex and I encounter a woman whom has an issue with me over the fact that her grandson cause 1200.00 of damage to my Suv when he collided with his bike. Now I could have flipped out when it happens, but I thought as an adult one would take responsible for their actions and his out of control behavior. No I was sooo wrong! I offered to not call the police and thought this woman or the mother of this child would step up and offer to pay for the damage. This happened a year and half ago and as I was told by her, the grandmother, that it was my fault that my parked vehicle was in her grandson way and I was wrong.

 

So after this incident I called the police and reported it, too let them know and any other person who would go near my vehicle that the police would be involved. Now I have let this go and still have the damage to car. Yet, every time I encounter this woman, she has a grievance with me.  The issue is not with the car, it is the fact that her grandson was illegally staying at the complex and was caught on camera numerous times involved in situations with other tenants. Yet, she continues to carry this issue around with her.

 

 

It just goes to show that what we harbor continues to affect us and its everyone else’s fault, the “us or I” part that takes no responsible for our actions. Just like history, if it’s not working then change it or change yourself. The worst thing that could happen is we keep repeating it until we get right, so what if it takes another 20,000 years plus to see that it’s us that help create these problems and we are all on this planet together for a reason. When it comes to basic needs we want to be loved and love, be part of community and family. We need shelter, food, clothing and transportation to support ourselves and our family. As well a need to feel safe and secure within ourselves to be who want to be, yet we still have not learned that we are all the same, battling ourselves over money, power and knowledge and outdated belief systems. 

Fighting for what you believe! 10/02/16

Fighting for what you believe! 10/02/16

I have not written in few weeks. I have been pretty busy with school and work. I decide to write because I do love learning about all kind of things and get discourage in the fact that some people in the profession take it for grant that not everyone processes information the same way, as everyone else. And I am one of them. I have to be able to relate the information or at least draw on another experience to process the information. It becomes difficult when I am unable to relate to the material that is being presented. I bring this up because I am currently studying history, even with my personal feeling aside history has always been difficult for me when someone is teaching it to me.

It always amazed me that in an hour class or that someone who (a teacher) could fully expected anyone person to understand the material they presented and then have to recall, such material verbatim. Now I remember even as child that my teacher would teach or talk to us about some part of history and know that it was wrong regardless of it being in a book or not. The fact is that history is based on people who were educated on some level. Education was seen on level by the social status or people in power not necessary by common people and on many occasions, I have gotten this gut reaction that information presented is in fact just wrong. But we are taught to accept it as fact, because it written in book or a teacher or professor is teaching it to us. This bring me to the incident at hand. I had a quiz on this past Friday and was removed from the class because I apparently did not hear my teacher say that we could not use a certain guide for our terms.

Now regardless of the misunderstanding, it took me back to grade school where I was made to feel stupid for not knowing the answers to the question or questions, when asked. Now I know that there are things that I am very good at and there are things that need more time to ingest. I now have several options to fix the problem that I encountered in class. What amazes me the most is that I am paying for my education and even when I was younger my parents were playing through taxes for me to get an education and yet we are continuously failing are children or young adults, even on a college level because we sit in a class with a teacher or professor who has spent their entire career researching this same material because in their own gut or knowing they needed to research this very same material.

Then they expect people to repeat what they learned in years of research in less time then it took them. I am at a standstill, as to what I want to do with my re-test. I was offer to take my test at another time, which I now have to change my schedule or miss work to prove that I in fact know the information that this person gave in class. The problem with this for me is that history is riddled with the same thing over and over again. People in power, great battles for power or wealth over people, people enslaved, trying to control the masses and people thoughts and beliefs, women treated as an object versus a person, free will, to poverty, homelessness and despair. It just repeating its self over and over again. And we still can’t cannot get it right and can we never.

Even religious doctrine has these same dogma as history. Even as I consider my thought and beliefs of what I should do about my test to prove that I can repeat my teachers or the book version of history and consider whether my job will depend on whether I tell an employer about the history of Sumerian or the Spartan’s, or does it really matter whether I treated another soul with the respect they deserve or even myself with the love the care that we all seem to be looking for and that we all deserve and the details of life is what it is and were just in it, for a belief time.

I should tell you the entire time I am writing this I am walking back forth between the laundry room at my complex and I encounter a woman whom has an issue with me over the fact that her grandson cause 1200.00 of damage to my Suv when he collided with his bike. Now I could have flipped out when it happens, but I thought as an adult one would take responsible for their actions and his out of control behavior. No I was sooo wrong! I offered to not call the police and thought this woman or the mother of this child would step up and offer to pay for the damage. This happened a year and half ago and as I was told by her, the grandmother, that it was my fault that my parked vehicle was in her grandson way and I was wrong.

So after this incident I called the police and reported it, too let them know and any other person who would go near my vehicle that the police would be involved. Now I have let this go and still have the damage to car. Yet, every time I encounter this woman, she has a grievance with me.  The issue is not with the car, it is the fact that her grandson was illegally staying at the complex and was caught on camera numerous times involved in situations with other tenants. Yet, she continues to carry this issue around with her.

It just goes to show that what we harbor continues to affect us and its everyone else’s fault, the “us or I” part that takes no responsible for our actions. Just like history, if it’s not working then change it or change yourself. The worst thing that could happen is we keep repeating it until we get right, so what if it takes another 20,000 years plus to see that it’s us that help create these problems and we are all on this planet together for a reason. When it comes to basic needs we want to be loved and love, be part of community and family. We need shelter, food, clothing and transportation to support ourselves and our family. As well a need to feel safe and secure within ourselves to be who want to be, yet we still have not learned that we are all the same, battling ourselves over money, power and knowledge and outdated belief systems. 

The Voice Within : Just a Rant: 9/6/16

The Voice Within : Just a Rant: 9/6/16: Just a Rant: 9/6/16 I just received an email for my son’s middle school about an App to monitor my son progress and it got me question...