Why do you play in the
memories of what has happened to you? Yes, that relationship did not work out
to what we expected. Did you learn any lessons from it? What about what your
parents did not do or did do. So, what! That job, those friends that loved you
or not. So, what! How big was the loss? Did really, fuck up things happen to
you along the way. They are not now or in the present moment. You can stay
hooked in the past or move beyond them.
Maybe you don’t
understand why they happen to you, people have free will and choice. They can
make a decision based on what they know, or they seek to change. The hardest
part of life is thinking we can change other people to be who we want them to
be and that is a slippery slope because until people or a person realizes it is
them and their projections out in the world. We are going to have the same type
of people step forward to show up. That it is a lie that you have been telling
yourself!
You don’t want to be
judged by other people, stop judging them and yourself. Don’t want drama in
your life stopped creating it or playing with it, with other people. Can you
really say that you have never done anything wrong to anyone? Don’t have clear
boundaries then start creating them. If people leave, so what! Are you not
happier when they are not around? Find the people who love and support you.
You’re not obligated to anyone, even your friends and family. True friends and
family love and support you, not some image of who they think you should be.
Is it scary to think that
these people who you trust, and love could possibly not love you for the real
you? How about you love yourself first
and stop worrying about what they think of you. See when you change people
leave or they stay. Get rid of the people who don’t respect or love you, they
most likely don’t love themselves enough to see that you want to be a different
person. Maybe it is for the best or maybe it is not. Only you can define what
is worth keeping or not. We are coming to the point in the year when we must travel
to see friends or family for holidays. If you are not willing to cut the ties
just yet, then define the boundaries of what you are willing to put up with –
tell those people So what or to just stuff it.
People have a way of
seeing our life as something they need to direct for us. Apparently, they don’t
think we are not enough, knowledgeable or capable of creating a life for
ourselves. It is like having rubberneckers – every time we are trying to change
ourselves. Everyone must have their look into our life or their say. If they did their job right there would not
be any questions or speech. We will either succeed or fail, either way, you
learned a lesson about yourself along the way.
So, the next time someone wants
to define who you should be, say “So What”. Like they know you better then you know yourself and if you don’t know yourself, then maybe it is about time to
figure out who you are without all of the clutter of everyone’s opinion.
Voice Within© Donna Millward 2018
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