12-31-2020 Nine Years Ago

 

12-31-2020 Nine Years Ago

 

Nine years ago, today I walked away from my entire birth family, because of many factors. For one I was trying to put my life back together after my life fell apart, again. Being a single mom with two small children is no easy task. Now I have tried to write my life story down my times, maybe to understand how I got here or why I would have challenge after challenge to just support myself and my children. It seems that my life has always been a series of events or situations.

When I was really too small to know better, I thought I am on the wrong planet or placed in the wrong family. Along with the constantly memory of it not supposed to be this way. I didn’t completely understand why, other than were supposed to come from the heart and love. That if were present enough that all the answers come to us. For those nine years I spend relearning and unlearning programs that were lie after lie of who I am. I done enough research that I could fill several books in my head. Not bad for a person who they said had a learning disability, which is another lie place on myself.

At some point our life comes into question, I would like to tell that my life was wonderful and perfect but that would be a fuckin lie. Without disclosing too much, people think they know you; they have this perception of you including you family, yet I was raised in a family that I would classically call dysfunctional. Was it entirely their fault, no they been trained and programmed to believe that the impossible is not possible and history, society have an enormous part to play in that development!

It is amazing that a child or teenager we can see other peoples lives in comparison to own, but we don’t necessary understand the dysfunction that we have lived through. We tend to think that once we leave home at 18, or for college, or marriage, when we have the enough money and things, that these patterns of behavior have not affected us in some way, but truth be told, they are playing a part in our lives even to this day. We look at these events, as that it is what is, what I learned or it my life or family upbringing and I am just like them. At this point in my life I tend to think it a copout for not wanting to be responsible for your own choices. At some point we, you, me have to really look at our own life for answers that help us understand the why’s or help us live a better and different life. Life becomes a series of questions.

I have tried to think of ways to explain a complex and complicated way of explaining my life or why the things happen to us. Some of  them are as far reaching that whether they hold, truth or not, is in the person that wants to have a better understanding of themselves or life around them and not make the same mistake twice, or keep living that same experience over and over again like some type of groundhog day, but we seem to like the comfortable and avoid the difficult. Unfortunately, the difficult is where the biggest lessons are learned. There is a quote “don’t judge unless you walk in another shoes”, truth be told, there is much wisdom in that statement. We all think that we know everything or that we have all the right answers and the truth about what we are observing. We don’t know crap. And when something is verifiable, we dismiss it as a lie, untrue or conspiracy.  I came Spirituality through what would be paranormal events, my spirituality is not based on any religion completely, because just like life there is no right answers because all is relative.

So why walk away from your family, because my family didn’t like that I would say things or ask questions that they didn’t believe in. And being told from a young age that I didn’t not know what I was talking about or allow to think about, or not allow to be who I was. And when I asked a question or told something I was wrong, as person, as human, or just being psychic or a medium, which I had no idea I was until the birth of my son in my thirties.

Pretty much I got tired of people telling shut-up and put up with there nonsense. Threats of punishing me, threats of harm or trying to manipulate, that if I didn’t do what they said or believe what they thought, that I was unworthy of love. Constantly having to prove something to them, as if I owe them something. Well, thank you for keeping me alive by feeding me, providing shelter and clothing, but I take my leave now. Like any 12-step program, not I have done one but aware of their concepts of forgiveness is key factor in healing oneself. Well, I forgive but I struggle to forget, because of these events I wouldn’t be talking about them today.

I get that I not everyone cup on tea, that ok will me. I never planned my life for this as I remember it, I wanted to help people, why is another question. My dream was have a home and start a business to work for myself. Now I done that several times over at this point and even when I say I am not doing it anymore and hear just stop if you like and I keep coming back to it. I wonder whether the writing is for myself or others to hear. Being that we all want to feel like we belong, are enough, feel loved and respected. That no matter what life is awesome, even it is fleeing at times.

And with that I wish you a Happy New year and that no matter what happens out there in the world, you are loved and special and deserve the very best that life has to offer. The Voice Within -Donna Millward

12-31-2020 The end of 2020

 

 

So, what did we learn about ourselves or the life around us? I could write and make predictions about events, but what is the point. If I put you or myself in front of two roads or multiple doors, it is free will that makes the choice in what direction that soul will take. Life is a series of choices, one that is most often overlooked by the challenges that we have already faced or a point of reference that will repeat itself. We have not realized that we are the wordsmith in our own story.  We are the observer and creator of what is our destiny or view of the world.

When you reflect on a great writers, religion, philosophy, and or science that tries to explain the world that they are observing, it becomes clear that there is bigger aspect to what were witnessing. If you were a single drop of rain, a blade of grass or single mustard seed that within it contains the whole of universe, which leaves us, to what are humans, if not everything too.

Over the years I have listened to stories and the soul of a person or people, who have endured many challenges throughout their life learning what it like to be the witness of the unforgiveable. Humanity is at this point of where does, it end! What is the breaking point that we finely say enough is enough? The media tells everyday that we should fear people, weather, illness and death; along with so many other things. In psychology it would be called fight flight mode. Constantly battling that perceived threat of something that would do us in. I for one, am tired. They or there are things that battle for our attention that I wish to not be part of anymore.  

I recently was out on a walk and sat down at the edge of the woods and looked out and thought to myself that just the view of the landscape was and is magical. All the layers that are involved just looking at a small part of the view of nature for few moments, that world stopped, as I looked on in disbelief at what I was witnessing. That there is not a single artist that could put words to what I was seeing and wondering why we don’t see ourselves or people as this grand plan or picture, that we become so depended on other people’s view and words that we take them as our own. It’s as if fear and death are the epitome of who we have become.  Why people keep promoting fear as a consensus, when none of us want that for ourselves or other people. We want to be free to be who we really are.

As I sit here writing this and think about how I want to support myself in the upcoming year and next 40 or so years that I may or may not have on this planet. If I am aspect of the whole what is my contribution to live in fear or realize that there is always a different choice. Do I want freedom and liberation of a narrative or continue what is outside of myself to run the storyline! These are the questions that we should be thinking about. In loving memory of all that walked before us and ones that left too soon, so we can come into the truth of awareness of who we are, soul having a human experience.

12-23-2020 Someone said:

 

Donna, (Nastily)I don't believe in all this Woo woo stuff and your most likely a pacifist too. 

I am not everyone cup of tea and I don't believe in War or violence, what exactly has it proven. I don't believe in people starving, or being homeless or  unnecessary suffering. When we have the ability to lift up and help people. And before you say well I work and they can get a job just like myself. I would say go stand in the middle of Valley Forge or Arlington cemetery and tell me what you see. Drive to area that is what considered undesirable and talk to people there and understand the thoughts, pattern and behaviors that they are working from. Go visit a soup kitchen or food pantry or talk to Veteran who is willing to tell his story being on the battlefield.  Visit a Women shelter who face is so bloodly that you can't tell who she is because the husband or boyfriend was drunk because she didn't do something or she didn't cook him dinner. Talk to a mother who child was taking or there child killed themselves because we're not listening on intuitive level to them, or someone else kill their child.  Go talk to a rape victim, or someone trafficked, where someone thought it is there right to take from her or him. 

These are just few of the conversations that I had listening and talking to people. I have seen incredible things that most people will never see or experience, because they don't ask the right questions. I have seen and heard the pain that comes from these people because each time they tell their story it releases some of heartache within. So if you don't believe in the woo woo that ok because it not my job to make you a believer. So when I write something or speak I am not talking out my ass. I do have first hand experience either walking in there shoes or being present for them to tell me their stories.  Each time I pray that these people find forgiveness for themselves and people who did these things to them. And with that being said, until your willing to make inquiries into self and whether it possible as to whether the woo woo exist, just like radio change the station. 

Keeping it simple 12-23-2020

 

 

As the year to comes to close I think about all the things that we over complicate. I decided this year I just wanted lights on my Christmas tree, putting lots of stuff on the tree just seemed too much. Normally I would have planned out a meal for Christmas day starting with breakfast to dinner. I am kind of goodie in that food is expression of who you are. It involves the senses, your heart and the joy of sharing it with family or others that are close to you. I decided that to keep it simple, in that fact, that I would not necessarily go out purchase all this extra stuff to make it more than just spending time with family or friends. We attend to forget that it the simple things that we want in our lives. We all have been pushed to face things this year that test the very core of who we are and how we feel about things. Wondering what is next because watching the news disheartening, yet I can go outside to nature or look out the window and see none of that. I see and feel people’s reaction. All the while questioning where this is going and what are choices for me to not be in the throws of other people's behavior of fear or my own. So, in keeping it simple I am not focused on what is out there. I don’t need to address all these other factors, it may seem cold, but I have enough of own concerns and a keeping positive outlook verses what is portrayed. So simple is what it is, and I am ok with that and grateful that I know what is important to me.    

Lessons learned – 11-24-2020

 

Lessons learned – 11-24-2020

Did you ever wonder why you experience things that you have! I have made a life mission to understanding why or how these things happen to us or on a personal level; even on a universal level. Now I know many have experience things that words can’t even describe the deep of pain or lost that was experienced at the hands of another. I also know that we create things, or they are pre-birth choices to experience in our lifetime. I have gone down the rabbit whole more then once. The more I look for answers that deeper it goes. To the point on more than one occasion I have said Fuck this.

When I ask people whom I call spiritual teachers I have been disrespected, blow off and completely dismissed. Books and videos only get so far, and our intuition can give us only the information without it Running amuck. People think spiritual people have all the answers and the fact is we don’t. Our own journey through is as complicated as anyone else. I have seen and experience some gnarly stuff at the hands of other people.

Just recently I took a course that I directed to take by my guides, which now seems senseless at the moment, because what was taught was a class to open you up to your intuition. I thought that I was taking a class that was going to get me more clarify.  I haphazardly don’t meditate because I have don’t more get that information that way. It has always been in a vision, or words and dreams. I currently seem to be arguing with the universal or my guides during dream time, when I should be resting and verses trying to explain to them why I feel the way I do.  I have even had more than once people lose their shit on me for asking a question.

I have always known that I here to do something and always felt I born into the wrong family and planet. Yes, I know that sounds fuckin crazy. The f-word is low vibration word and honestly if I had not seen things for myself, I would say she is crazy. But the fact is that I am saner than most people who think they are normal. By the way, what is normal, because my viewpoint that is no such things as normal. There is group agreement that a stop sign means to stop, yet other view it as optionable and tree is tree, yet there is thousands of different species. I remember one of my son’s teachers say to him there is no neck on the person he drew, yet from his view his teacher had no neck.

Right now, even I write this there are thousand of view and opinions and whatever floating around about this or that, I will not name even one of them. Because someone will try to prove that there view more important to me, then my own thoughts. I often think about the book the “Art of War’. I have not read it, maybe someday or not. But it does take a rocket science to see that something is very wrong. Even a quick 5 min video can sum up the book, red, blue, purple and green etc.  know your enemy. I am not a bible thumper, yet the bible speaks “Love thy neighbor” so does this only apply to your physical neighbor or is this term about Everyone.

The Art of Persuasion is another tactic that use everywhere. Just turning on News is form of persuasion, if I want to know something I look for information and if my view changes either way it called Free Will and I have choice to sit with it or set it aside until I can make different opinion. When I read things that cross my path that tell me of things that were written 30-40 years ago and see them playing out, one has to wonder what the hell is happening. Right now, you have to make a choice whether it is happening to you is the only choice or Is everyone your neighbor or are they your enemy!

Xo the Voice Within

 

11-28-2020 Spiritual trauma

 

11-28-2020 Spiritual trauma

Is it possible to traumatized by spiritual matter? Yes, when the dreams or visions first started again, I was directed to read Sylvia Brown work and other author’s work with regards to Codependence, Adult children of Alcoholics and Neglected children syndrome. This broken off into other areas from addiction to quantum mechanics.  In a very short time my life went from having it all, to a matter of pieces. The person who directed me to the books disappeared. People showed in my life that to this day I don’t understand. You know were raised to help people out or I was, but there is a time when you will be taught a lesson about boundaries. As loving and helpful that you want to be for these people, it will show up and teach you a lesson or a few; about were you need to do work and they will not be fun or even humorous.

So, I went from owning a home to apartment after apartment to finally being homeless and having to move in with family which literally destroyed anything that resembled a family.  I have been attacked in my sleep to sleeping through earthquake. When you see or more or less feel something trying to have sex with you or something starts banging on the wall while you child sleeps next to you, you kind of freak out. I have had something walk through me to this day no-one can tell me what it was. And if they do that say most people don’t live through it. I watched a movie and seen the person’s eyes turn to that of snake. Or been in the food store and people start looking humans with heads of animals. I first thought that I see animal totems and now it seems like a Grimm Series of the television show.  

I was recent thrown off someone website because they sent me a link that that woman had a white snake around their neck, and it was attached to them. I have had experiences that I am walking by someone and physically go into cough spell or get violently sick. I had spirits that I wake up to that say she does not look like much or tall white beings standing in my room or been in places where you see half bodied spirits walking around. I been in people’s apartment and full black spirts walk thru the apartment. It funny (it not Funny) because no-one really talks or writes about these things.

People say put white light around you or call on your guides to shield you and now people are saying that even that has been highjacked. I have been knocked out of my bed. One person I know recently after a short conversation showed a picture that they were sent and there was picture of a rather demonic spirit in their picture of where they work. Or people tell about how that closet and doors open in there home and have come with them when they move. Can I tell how to get rid of them NO. I don’t even understand why I see them, and other people don’t. I can close my eyes and see things that are completely screw-up.

I have seen black portal in form of box or orange portal open up next to one professor while in college. I have a female spirit with a tiger tattoo stand next to my desk at work. I have seen an image of person split in too different directions while in another class with the same professor. In the meantime, I keep looking for answers as to what hell I am supposed to do with these things that I see. I see light language and have no idea what to do with it because other people write the language or sing it. I freak out people because I say things that apparently no one knows. There are no secrets in the spirit world. I have encounter people and after speaking up because they think they say anything to me my entire body starts shaking. Most of what I know I had to read in books, videos and the courses that I have taken, and seem to make matter worst. I have prayed to deity or Archangels that I come across. I have a quantum healing under hypnosis, shamanic person, not real shaman to have healing done. I have felt a piece of myself leave because of other trauma.

It irks me that more people in the spiritual community don’t speak out about their trauma and they (not all) walking around like its Fluffy spirituality and when people call it a dark night when it could be years of stuff coming at you. Then their people who are playing in it who have no business being in it because their intention is for abuse or power, to control others. Taking money for services or when they really not helping people. Or you ask them questions to have better understanding for your own knowledge and tell you for a fee I will help you. I even have fees because I have to live and a have place to live even when I can only share what I know, or the guides say thru me or they tell me. They say what does kill you makes you stronger. Well I can tell you that there are days that I am fine and other days I rather lie on floor and not get up.

I have a therapist that I see just from the personal trauma that I have experience then bring in the spiritual part, thank god she is open to it and even she wants to put me on medicine seems like that bright idea, when I just want to understand what to do with information or control it, so I not a walking around waiting for the carpet to be pulled out from me. Which is how I view my life at this point. I remember hearing over 10+ years ago enjoy the ride, well it is a ride, it certainly was not fun or even pleasant. They say meditation is the quickest way to get the information, well that fine if you’re not a walking radio tower that turn back on one day that wasn’t fully turn off. Or Set an intention and focus using an affirmation or control your thoughts, breathing, align your charka’s or whatever. Grounding into the earth, I like to crawl into hole and not come up most days. I keep sensing that the guides want me to talk and I don’t like being on camera and you can’t necessarily talk to people if there no-one to talk to about it. Yet even ask questions without some use of technical skills, which I don’t to care to do and I don’t work well under that type of pressure to performance like a circus act. So here I am typing what is running around in my head because I apparently need to make space or tell someone about this stuff. I find myself more frustrated these days because well no one knows what is going to happen from day to day. I have tried to plan or make intentions only to have things that I thought my life would be, dissolve and it like picking up the laundry.  Even as I sit here writing this down, I find myself getting bite by bugs in the apartment where the carpet has not been replaced because I find myself in a spiritual or karmic situation that I can’t not see my way out of. Other then to wait and see game, which has grown old and tiring for the benefit of what.

What is to come next? My guides direct me to things like it over and I say elfin right because from were I currently sit, it still the same as it was 30 seconds ago or even yesterday or five years ago. One psychic told me I am like Sylvia Brown and Bryon Katie, well Sylvia Brown people have disrespected, and Bryon Katie method never even touch on the root cause. No disrespect to either but fundamentally not knowing the source of whether it taught or learned, or an elfin program running is like saying its ok that treat people the way we do.

 I done it and I am shame that I was doctrine into it. Knowing that it is not supposed to be this way. I can’t tell you why because I have always felt this way.  Lady GG puts it this way “born this way”, well we were all born this way and for whatever reason some remember, or something happens to get people to wake the elfin up. Can I teach you; I have no idea? Can I point you in the right direct to understand why something may have happened or is it happen maybe! Can I do it without you completely chose everything that you have worked for and not getting piss-off at myself or the world when you find out the truth, “NO”. The fact is that you have been lie too for years and it has been hidden and in plain sight at the same time. I heard that we agree to do this way, yet I find it extremely hard to understand why We or I would have chose to do this way. This only applied if you think earth is not the only planet that has life on it. Anyone else reading this would not be here to this point in the writing and if you are and disagree that ok, I see you when you wake up. With that being said this is the end of the writing.

 

 

 

11-27-2020 The name Jeff Paine

 I saw psychically the name Jeff Paine  

11/23/2020 Mini post -House of Cards

 11/23/2020  

The guides will give a word or terms that describe a event or suggest something. I normally don't understand it because I am trying to keep my head a float above ground most days. So today they gave me House of Cards - now I never watched this series and had to look it up. Which seems that there is two series of this Television show one in the UK and another here in the US. I tried looking for a reference into the storyline but since I have not watched TV in over a decade or more, this maybe at play. Since the current election is split in two. I don't like playing or even saying anything in regards to politics because I fought my own battles with legal, justice system and they won. So I have a tainted view of already broken system and since I don't like to put my head into lion's mouth and having opinion or thought is like going to war with ourselves I will leave it at that - something about the show House of Cards will or is playing out. 

11-11-2020 Someone being Milli Vanilli

 I was shown someone being Milli Vanilli -someone claiming something, yet not who they really are. Possibility being used as a reference for the exposure that surrounded this group in the 80's, which was lip-syncing Fiasco. This seems to be a single person and not two people, but could be since the original group was two people. 

10-17-2020 Someone asked ???

 

10-17-2020

Someone asked – Why didn’t we know that you/she could do this? First, I have written about this that I was told at an early age that I should not speak of it. As I am human just like people of the planet and had to re-learn and train to understand the information because when your told not to speak of it or acknowledge a part of you it creates a divide within you. And when your told that things don’t exist from early age in a reality that you live in, you tend to keep things to yourself. I have encounter people, friends and family, who make judgements and even worst things when you speak your truth. They are not always the loving and supportive people when the universe steps in and says, more or less wake up.

Secondly, there is a lot of work involved because this means resolving a lot beliefs and thoughts, cultural programs and healing not only for your own life, but multiple generations and whole gamma of other beliefs. This is not Fluffy spirituality where you take a class and now to do whatever with that information. It becomes your life and you live it. This is not to say that it only certain people, everyone “Can do this work” and no one person does it the same way. Not everyone is supposed to talk to the dead or reading energy, healing work, some are builders, play music or art, work with food or take care of the earth... along with many other things.

Thirdly, I have children, people who I have tried protecting and raise through the things that we have experience at the hands of other people and their beliefs and judgements. There is no one teacher because everyone is your teacher and there are no short cuts in this work. You walk the talk. And because we live in a world that is at extreme’s in every faucet of reality, even so right now. People are battling each other over things when we should working together for. But that is part of illusion. I don’t make claims that I know everything, nor will I ever. What I know comes from experience and doing the work to understand, whether in a form of a teacher, book(s) or going within for the answers. You are your own universe and guru.

So hopefully, this has answer the question.  

 

 

 

 

10-17-2020 Not all of psychic/medium information is pleasant!

    Last night while I was brushing my teeth before bed, I got told -  Someone died, I don't know whether it is male or female or just a guide. Other then the fact that they were speaking about a female. I was then given a image of a blood stain bed and I questioned before I when to sleep for the night, for more information. 

This morning I got that it was a carving knife and still no idea who or whom this belongs, too. I am not always in favor of posting this type of images or vague information, as well as, not knowing whom it belong too. I feel like it is for some type of closure and it needs to be communicated that they are ok and that the right person will give this information. And something along the lines of the Ghost Whisper.  Now I know what the Ghost Whisper and feel this has some type of meaning to the (say or stay) with person this is meant for. 

Social Media Dangers Documentary — Childhood 2.0

9-22-2020 The why's to how do We !

 

1.       Why did this happen to me?

2.       Who am I?

3.       Why do I keep experiencing these problems?

4.       How do I keep finding myself in these situation?

5.       What the hell is really going on?

6.       Are, my right’s as human being taking away?

7.       Am I being forced into Fear by the Media, Friends Family and Government, to make me afraid of other people?

8.       Why do we still have homeless people living on street?

9.       Why is it there not enough food for people? Or clear water?

10.   Why do I have to fight for medical care or services?

11.   Where is the money to fix our roads, bridges and infrastructure?

12.   Where are my taxes going too?

13.   Why is the education system falling our kids?

14.   What does the future pose for us?

15.   What is going to happen to our Children and Grand children’s future?

16.   Why is it there is not enough money?

17.   Why is housing and car so expensive?

18.   Why are people dying from curable illnesses?

19.   Why is there suicide? Drugs problems? Mental health issues?

20.   Why isn’t someone or anyone doing something to help?

21.   Why am I afraid of being sick or dying, even death?

22.   Why is it that there are people who still can’t read, write or know how to cook food, or where it even comes from, use technology or don’t have access to technology.

23.   Or why our children can use technology, but have not a clue how google how to do something? Or begin to ask someone because they don’t want to have a conversation? Even adults don’t want to speak to people, yet they get angry when directed by a lifeless computer.

24.   Or why when calling places that you conduct business with, personal or otherwise, your calls refer to outside your country or hours on hold?

25.   Why? Why ? Why? Why?

To just list a few- When we start trying to answer the above questions is when we find How do fix these why?? And start empowering ourselves. 25 Questions which 25 people have the answers too and how to fix it. Just imagine what 331,000,000 million people in US can do!

9-12-2020 Dream visit

 

9-12-2020 Dream visit

 

I am in house that older, small in size. It has a large backyard. There are two main trees in the back, large in size too. There is a fence that runs the wide of the backyard. There is an area that looks as if a dog was digging in the area. On the right of the fence. On the left side is a patch that was done to the fence. If seems to be 3x2 in size. I enter the house through the back door and mental cabinet that seems bang-up. I enter the kitchen and there more mental cabinets where it looks as if the refrigerator should be. There is a bathroom or what should be a bathroom, except there just holes where the plumbing should, I see the cabinet and sink off to the other side. My attention is pulled to what seems to be a bedroom with large dark sectional sofa, the room is very dark like it was made that way on purpose. 1.   There is upstairs I go upstairs to find make-shift beds with blankets, I look and see a head, then another. There are five children here. All boys roughly ages 6-9-11. I ask the boys what they are doing in the house and I am pulled from the vision. I then told post what I saw.

 

2.   Early today I saw a teal guitar with white neck I think it is called. It was hanging on the wall and maybe a wood beam nearby too. ??

 

3.   I have gotten everyday this week Civil unrest. I know that this is happening now, but feel is on a grander scale, possibility of Global.

 

4.   I have gotten nature vs man- which I believe is extreme weather pattern, not that we have been experiencing this type of weather over the decade, but somethings is different about it.

 

5.   I keep getting 5 years which would be 2025

 

6.   The word- shake down

 

 

Agreeing to Agree without consent 9-9-2020

 

Agreeing to Agree without consent 9-9-2020

Have you thought about that fact that right now, parents have given their rights up for the children by allowing these school to require them to attend online school to come into your personal space, as in, your home? If this only the beginning per say why lock your door or to be concerned with your online or personal private privacy. 

Or what about that fact that you have been forced to wear a mask or gag, as I like to say to not engage with the people around you, locked in our home for the Fear of what. That you may get exposed or sick and die. People die every day. I am not say that there people truthy affected by this so called virus, but if do you research into the last 10-20 years there has been an outbreak of multiple disease, just alone where the same type of fear was created, just not to this level. If you created enough fear into any person, animal, even planets they will submit- this has proven over and over in science, psychology, psychological war fair, wars and our history.

Normal- what is normal, there is none at this point. Our or your perceptions of normal is individualized as the person speaking about word normal. As if, it is some way of life. When you ask someone to define what normal is for them, they may say not wearing mask or free to have a conversation with someone without being 6 ft from them, visit friends and family or not be in fear of people reactions to you are somehow the carrier of a plague, were going to die. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life or your children, grandchildren. We are not living in a 3rd world country. Those third world live that way due to corruption within. When put money and greed before Humanity, humans and planet. It is the cancer of the world and destroying us. 

Which brings me to Trump vs all the people who claim that he is responsible, well to the ill-informed this United States is not run by one person. Not even god would agree to such nonsense. As they or we continue to blame and point fingers that he did this or that or whatever the fuck, this one man is not capable of destroying an entire country. Even Hitler did not have that type of power. So, let’s start at the bottom, we have mayors, judges, state representative, senators, governor's, house of representative, congress...  etc. - all these People who we have sworn into office - under the following:

 I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God."

This statement does not say for or to, control, greed, lobbyist, corporations, separation by color, race, religion or social class, sexual orientation, demographic - the news media, would have you believe that it "you" fighting against the your neighbor, entire country or world. Which is not the case. Even god is used in axion- which meaning whether it is science, mathematic, or a universal truth under many names there is something greater than our-selves that is at work. Even if you look at it from a religious context there is not one figure stating, or indicating, that they are the creator of all that is, yet many have tried to speak as if, it is so. Even that is not the point of this writing - 

Point is every system of reality is falling apart and has been for a long time. We can fight each other to the point of killing ourselves and destroying the planet with it or we can figure out a way to fix it. Here is thought experiment: image walking around to everyone that you see or meet and say: you don't deserve ...to live, have clean water, food or healthcare or a home, provide for your family - that is exactly what we as a society our doing. You don't deserve because you’re not smart enough or wear the right clothes, shoes, your poor, you don’t work hard enough or many of others things, that we use to define what is human, for one deserves for being born. 

Now we can put head in the sands and hope that "government" fixes this, which really fuckin lofty idea since just look at what they are allowed and continue to allow to happen. Several years ago, I was told to follow the money and look at how history is repeating itself. Who is making Money with food shortage that don't exist! Who is making money off these deaths? Where are these people going to live that are losing their homes, jobs and cars – (who own the houses and land? You don’t because the bank or government does through borrowed money and taxation) I for one can say having to move back in with Family or Friends is nightmare and how are they going to rebuild when it all gone and then some. Remember that thoughts experiment above, these are those people and maybe even yourself. 

These so-called people, humans are mothers, fathers, children, grandparents born from many generations and countries that believe in the freedom and value of human soul. So as many complaint and blame the other - turn and look at yourself and ask yourself do I or all deserve - the right to truth, love, liberty and happiness - because I know that when my own life fell apart and I have not healed completely from it, as of yet, I had to dig deep into who or what taught me to think this way - it started with parents, school and ultimately society around me. When you step back far enough you realize that you or in my case, I was part of the problem too. 

I will bring in fact that spirituality or paranormal things started happening to me that had my head spinning at the same time. That another topic that I discuss on other writings. Some may think I am crazy or just very creative with my words, but the fact that what you see before you is the conscious and unconscious thoughts of the world of puppeteer’s or many who controlling the world wealth, which at this point is like the air breath (sorry your gagged or masked) joking aside money which is not back by silver or gold at this time, is a digital currency to point that it is only has valued because someone say it has value.  

So instead getting into history of money trading, and bartering -  how can we do it differently, if we just looking to consume and creates large amount of wealth, which what is the point – when the very things that we want is to feel connected to each other and a purpose, that helps humanity, planet and animals. If look at indigenous tribes – their food never came in box – there is food all around us – but we have become lazy wanting food that is actually making us sick- stress, fearful and unbalanced, latent with chemical to be a clog machine. If you look at very aspect of life – who owns you – your job, money owed to bank for home, cars, the goods and stuff that have you have in your home, credit card companies, the taxes that you pay to have shitty roads and bridges, the education systems that failing your kids, because it’s not there to make them think. The huge College debt that is funded by whom? In hopes that they leave school to paid what – 15.00 maybe, to after with taxes and health insurance maybe make half of that and skyrocketing mortgages and rent on over priced housing because the contractor has borrow money to buy land and supplies and then the mortgage company (banks) want to make the most the money ( which are deposited by the people from working and these other convert entities). The list goes on, on and fricken nonsense. And instead of thinking if I take my mortgage payment and times by 12 months and 30 years or maybe less years, what is the cost of my home (shocking) Will you get the cost of it back when you older NO because the your house is 30 years out of date with everything. Oh, let play Devil’s advocate but, but, that is how it anyway been done – and the money, my hard work, my plans to give to my children or etc… My point exactly – now ask you aging parent(s) or grandparents in all that time in life: what is the most important things to them, most would say Family, friends and memories, not the work they did or money they had or did have.

So why is it that Money has come to control us over relationships with others? Because we have agreed to agree, that it more valuable than the people we care about the most. Over saving the planet, animals, water or forest, land… all the things that we need to exist on the planet! Since I am not plumber or have no degree in any form, other then to informed and process information given to by my intuition and guides, this maybe my last writing because it is not currently paying my bills to move me out of many situations that I find myself in because as much of the spirit world want to communicate to people and help heal us ( because they see us struggling) and they are free of problems of this world, not many are not open enough to question this reality to create a different one or much less change. Since the current society does not pay us or me to think much less write to get you to think whether it’s about spiritual matters or material world or fake reality.

This writing has been both guided and channeled by me with the guides assistance. 

8-29-2020 Here is thought experiment

 Here is thought experiment, image that the person that you miss who has passed over is with you right now. Pick a time when it quiet and most likely not to be disturbed by children, grad-kids, noise outside or go outside. Try not to think- image them and on a piece of paper or with your eyes close hear, see or feel what they would say to you. Let it flow from you, don't question it - just write or see them, if possible. Trust what you write or see, feel and just write, don't read it until you feel that is all they have to say. The hardest part of this trusting, because we have lost touch with ourselves to trust something that is very natural to us. Any questions you can IM me, if you like. Most likely the information will be personal, apply to you and something you need to hear. if it does not work the first time, try again it later.

8-18-2020 When the universe gets louder

 

So many times, when we don’t listen or see the signs that are being directed at us. The universe will get louder until we final listen. This can be in so many forms that from are habits to our thoughts. It seems like a vicious cycle of cat and mouse. When we look around at what is happening in world there is so many systems breaking apart. There seems like no end to the destruction of collapsing world around us.

For many our holding onto the old ways of doing things, yet the new is pushing through every moment to awaken what has been sleeping within us. These structures do not function as a whole. Each and everyone is combination of the whole. Where there is change, there is a new. Even if it can’t be physically seen yet. One may wonder will it ever end. Life is about choice and how you use those choices.

If you see another as less then yourself, you are in fact less than them, because all is equal in the creator eyes. Separation and division is simply a matter of perception. How you view the world is a narrow view of what is really happening. Your led to believe that this is it and that is that. Yet, this is untrue nothing is ever destroyed, it is only transformed. Similar to clay, clay is an element of the earth, which take on any form that it is molded into.

Humans can transform too. Like sand on a beach that was once a great mountain. So can the human race. What you are observing around you and within you, is the changing of what no longer serves. It was been labeled many things and yet few truly understanding the working of magnificent change. We call a upon all that would listen to their hearts to truly question whether the truth is out there or within you. So many believe that what they are witnessing is a form of punishment, it is not.

For change is not so comfortable for all. Playing in the perceive fear of what is taking place only prolongs the inevitable. If you wish to experience the fear then it will appear as so, because your fighting the flow and much like a fish trying to swim backwards, while trying to go forward. This is only analogy. For most, the fear of the unknown is questionable, because they have relied on others for knowledge, instead of within. We bring this message forward today because they’re much that will come to light, to shifting and restructuring is taking place. Things cannot be hidden any longer. There is a course in place that needs to be known. You can fight or flow with it, and question that which arises. We bless you and wish you a good day.

 

Channeled Message- How channeling works for me – I will get the same phrase repeatedly until I sit down and write it or type it. Then much like a story the words follow one after another. Until am told good day or bless you, at which point I feel it changing. Channeled material is telepathic, or I sometimes sense someone standing next to me, much like taking dictation. This information comes from the WE. They are collective, much like the human race. I had visions of individual’s speaking as whole or standing in front of large group of people, much like a music concert.  I had a hard time adjusting to this too, at first, but when 8-10 ft white beings wake you up in the middle of the night or an Angel stands behind you and you can feel them wrap their wings around you, it is something that your not likely to forget. As for the above I did not get specifics. When they want me to know or understand something, I ask them to explain it to me.

 

8-18-2020 Cryptic Messages

 

I want to tell a story about how I am driving down the road on day, and I heard someone tell me to change lanes. Now I was the only one in the car at the time. I changed lanes and the light that I going to go thru changed to red. What I did not expect was that I watched as another car blew right threw the light where I would been driving. I would have been severely injured.  I have gotten these messages off and on, throughout my life. I have called people at 5:30 in the morning to get them on the phone to only find out later that there was 15 car pile-up on the turnpike, when they would been in the area at the time. I have emailed people when they say things like “my dogs are acting crazy” and to find out again that they missed being in accident involving a drunk driver.

 The universe and your guides our always sending messages or signs. I had people tell me about dreams that they have from their guides or love ones on the other side, were as they have the same dream over several days to a week and did not say anything to anyone or question the information that was coming to them. These dreams are information for you or a warning.  Did you ever wonder why you lose your keys or walk out the door and realize that you forgot something? Not all these moments or incidents are because your forgetful.  

Our guides and loves one, friend or family can see things that we cannot. We all have gut instincts that something is off, or someone is not telling the truth, but we tell ourselves that were making it up or that it is off, along with so many other ways we dismiss something as nothing. We have all met someone and felt something was not right to later find out that “I knew that or felt that”. Our guides will even send us people, complete strangers to tell us something that we needed to know, most often we don’t pay attention.  

I can tell you many more incidents were this has happen in my life, but the fact of the matter is I am sharing this information because I have seen things that happen that was not supposed to happen. Here is example: did anything ever happen to you that you can look back and see that made you change directions in life? Had it not happen you would be in a completely different place or married the wrong guy, different job … there are so many examples that I sure you can find one in life, that you never really thought about until even now.

8-11-2020 Psychic information

8-11-2020 Psychic information

The following is information that I was given in dreamtime or a upon waking that I have not be able to link to any one person, place or event. The following is over the course of 30 or less days. Nothing is written in stone- This is not information that I look for unless it is given to me. I don’t search for it.

1, pillows, emails, Andes

2. Blocks, containers, plants (nursery maybe)

3. New Jersey under water

4. Man dressed in black looking in someone window, then I saw a police officer with ball cap on standing and knocking at a door.

5. Something about releasing people from jail (this could be happening, because of the C-virus)

6. Yantai – googled it is a place in China

7. Town hall ???

8. Seeing a ward with what I call witches?? Trying to come thru, in sky- below were children. Then I felt something wracked me in my knee with something really hard.

9. Someone saying sorry on there death bed. I want to say it was female but could be either male or female.

10. Cosmic Law

11. How addictions were created for smoking & caffeine (they knew about it)

12 “For I walk in shadow of the Light” (not dark) or death. Explained as: where there is light- there is no darkness, because all is seen.

13. 8/8/2020 Stargate three times.

14. A small empty bottle- heard “intuition is supposed to help you”.

15. Dreamtime -Vacating an order- heard male judge say these words.

16. Seeing a warehouse with women and children in it- (X-rated) in fact the details were disturbing.

17. Heard- sub cuticle blister. Then told that blister are anger towards the mother (unspoken words) -childhood battling for a voice to be heard, express your thoughts, opinion, experiences, anger turn inwards at self.

18. C’est La vie (French for “thats life, such as Life”) heard multiple times.

19. The name James ???

20. Coming home to self.

21. You are the paradox! Because you create what we see & experience.

22. Vision of energy coming from the sun or behind, to the earth

23. the year 2032?

24. Multiple timelines converging at a single point (Physics) That regardless of what happens that it will at some point converge at single point.

25. Saw Anderson Cooper Name & something with Gloria Vanderbilt. While reading different text all together.

26. Dark Matrix

27. Reading and see the word “killed” – this could be directly linked to me or (whomever it belongs to -it’s male energy)

28. Heard the word conjecture – an opinion or conclusion formed based incomplete information – (this could be about now with all this information in the media and people verbally attacking people-based information without fact checking information creating separation, division, so many other things...

29.  I keep seeing 15-18 months for 2020-2022

30. Heart attack- this was not clear – who? Since I have gotten multiple deaths over the past week and half. Mid-July to Mid-August 2020

31. I kept hearing “Self-Evident” with regard to the Declaration of Independents (several times, repeatedly)

32. A Collapse, 10-year journey back  ????

33. See the words “disturbing Images”.

34. Me writing the words – “Driving south” – instead something else.

35. Mask are hiding truth, more of gag order- social distancing (this what I got – you do what you think is best for you _ don’t shoot the messenger metaphorically)

36. Heard being on “Precipice of Change” –

37. Expect Weather pattern changes- over 10 years ago I got earth is rebirthing. We have seen water issues all over the planet- in that same time, I keep see images of water and rising water, and storms.

38. Again 18 months – August, Sept, Oct, Nov and December 5 months, then Jan. 5 year 2025, next 12 months

39. Again human trafficking

40. Heard clean house – this could be the physical act of cleaning your home or getting rid the things you don’t need- or metaphorical on much larger scale.

41. A dream -Left side mark on car out, man, dog –

42. Image of Old fashion mop with metal folding thing ???

43.  Heard the word Portugal

44. Earthstar, Earth healing, pregnant and rebirth

45. Someone asked me about the coin shortages- for years they have been trying to remove coins from money system, to convert us to a digital currency (one) money is no longer back by gold and silver, two) This pandemic -  people are told they want you to use your card vs accepting cash as payment because of c-virus (not there been virus every year for last 20-and that only example), your phone and Atm cards can be tracked anywhere. People of great wealth don’t use money the way average person does. A good book or video on following money is “The creature from Jekyll Island and there is also “why IRS was established” books and videos. There are also how wars are created for money and so many others things that about creating money for others – Historically within the last 120 years their has been numerous accounts of crashing the market to keep fear in people to create to keep in people lack mentally.

46. “heard caught in Landslides”

47. Great change ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6-25-2020 - The Hall of Soul Lost

The following is dream that I have visited several times. I am calling it the Hall of Lost Souls. The are the parts of people who separate from themselves due trauma they are what a Shaman would call a Soul lost. They are normally parts that leave due to some type of Trauma. I am no shaman, but I have had Soul retrieval and experienced a soul lost even after the fact, at which point a piece of myself leaves and floats off. I not sure what happens exactly, but the following is what I have experienced.

I was in house again, the one with long hallways that twist and turn. It also has many rooms, more rooms then I can count. In one room I found myself in a room with children 5 or 6. There was even an empty bed. I questioned why it looked as if someone should be in it and was told by the children that it was for another spirit. My thought on it is when a child’s soul splits from their body.

There was a flower and few items on the side table. The bed belonged to boy’s spirit. I can’t remember if the boy or spirit were there at the time. I think the boy was, but not absolutely, sure. Then I found myself wondering the halls. It was dark, but I could see. I turned a corner and there was Caretaker, she said I hear you have be calling out looking for me. She was sitting in front of a fireplace. There was a fire burning. I seemed to be wearing some type of dark coat that went to my knees. I sat down next to her on the floor. The Women Caretaker seems to some type of keeper for the children and spirits.

I remember asking why these things are happening to me, then as she spoke, I woke up to find myself back were I was sleeping. I know that I have been in this house before and even on the roof. It a strange house with many hallways, rooms and staircases that lead to other places in the house. It always dark there with barely any light but I always find my way around.

It was not until I looked into Soul retrieval and shamanic journey work that I realized what this place was. I found myself there several times over the years. I don’t know why I go there or why I have no memory of why I go there, except that I know that I been there before, enough to describe it. Since I don’t know of a shaman to have a personally conversation with, I left with these encounters, which I am sharing today in hope that it helps someone or anyone who may have questions.

Predictions of the world events or Celebrities 2007-2012 (some 2020)

Predictions of the world events or Celebrities – Firstly, prediction are just that! Due to multi-timelines of these events, they can and will change, nothing is finite or written in stone. The following are visions or images that I received during meditation or during my sleep from 2007-2011. As any psychic or medium will tell you they could happen tomorrow or 5, 7 10, 20 years from now.

2020 as of June

Avalanche - Turkey

Nuclear symbol

Easter eggs – symbol like in Stan Lee movies there was always previews for the next movie or events

2^nd pandemic ,and 3^rd  attempt to control

September, October and November of 2020 (moving targets)

Water, water and Water in the Fall – Atlantic City Flooding

Something with the NSA

2012-

1.Human trafficking on a World scale and the players involved.

2. Something being tri-effective – three fold

3. New York ? 

1.   Ring of Fire and activation of 13 Glass skulls. When I researched the area in the Pacific Ocean where there are volcanic and earthquakes eruptions. As for the glass skulls I have not done enough research to quote any reason for this information. I have also received information regarding the tectonic plates – but no indication as to why or a specific area regarding these plates.

2.   2009- Kenya

Hawaii – A Volcano

Haiti- again

Mexico – Flooding

3.   Some type of waiting room children sleeping, sponge Bob and the initials RJ – A hall in the back of house, looking for a bathroom or shower, water. Someone saying they all smoke out there. Then I was in a morgue with cigarettes, that broke. There was tobacco all over the floor and other items that they sell to celebrities. They look like stick or statues (they were odd looking) Not everything we see nice – from creepy to cruel and sick.

4.   Two towers (not twin towers) PECO (Philadelphia Electric CO.) or Radio station crashing to the ground. Small airport -planes on fire (Miami)

5.   2009 -Obama in news – water, Chicago a controversial around Obama in Chicago- Headlines in a few months in the spring.  (not researched)

6.   Something with India and possibility of something with the water wells. (On a belief search there is indication of wells running dry in 2017)

7.   2010- Message about something being in the air up Bucks County Comm. College – at nighttime in sky a light or UFO on a weekend night. (There has been multiple sighting over the years over the College)

8.   Unpredictable weather patterns, terrorist attacks, problem with trains and tracks, X-ray machine at airports for body scanner (Problems with) X-ray currently being used as of 2020.

9.   A building splitting apart, down the center and then into smaller pieces, Remembering holding on as the building and floors started to collapse, elevator, escalator, big building public building for entertainment.  A lot glass windows, spiral stairs, white marble. Glass vases some kind store front.

10.        Hearing Paul Revere’s – Poem

11.        Copenhagen -2011

12.        People are concerned in all this uncertain about losing everything that they have worked for, home, food, and car. Where will they turn to for money. This statement could cover multiple years – with stock market crash, Financial market, real-estate market, Pensions investments, and now in 2020 virus. Not there has various virus over the last 20 years.

13.        Heard - Card credit company insurance against people who will default against Debt.  Playing both sides of the same coin.

14.        Something about the turnpike – I believe this about the bridge that was near my home at the time requiring repair due to structure damaged.  

15.        Miami – again

16.        Image of people watching a building sitting in chairs or sofa, Tents -three story building.

17.        World changes need to be looked at as a personal level.

18.        NATO

19.        Birthing tools are wrong?

20.        This was written 2011 – People to be freed to Love, from taxes,

Support themselves, feed themselves, shelter themselves, cloth themselves. Provided for needs: All people Income, Transportation, healthcare, more choices, clean water, air, food, Better education, know your true history.

21.        Mayan Elders

22.        Egypt god – Tu nelly – toot nelly ?????