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Tuesday, March 10, 2020

How we learn to abandon our-self /ourselves? 3-10-2020




Since I was little, I was told not to speak of the things that I saw or heard and not speak about things that I knew. It’s been a hole in my heart that I have struggled to fill it because it was a missing part of myself. I was raised to think that what I was experienced was not to be talked about or even discuss because of fear of the knowledge. Likewise, I know much better now than I did then as a child. It was not my fear that was in question, it was another person’s fear. Never realizing it was psychic or intuitive information that I was getting was like burying part of my soul. It was part of me that lived below that surface and was not allowed to breathe. Even now that part me struggles to be fully present because much of it has been overdramatized by Hollywood or other entities as the work of something else.

As I have studied and done research for the past 15 years there have been many historically and presently people who speak of metaphysical and spirituality from much of history. When I started this journey several years ago. I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Why I was having dreams or seeing things that no-one else seemed to see or know things, that I could not explain even to myself. Then I realized that I saw things when I was a child and told to, not speak of them. I had no idea what was told to me, to lie about who I was. Then because I had no choice, I tried to become what other people wanted and show them that I could be someone else. This worked for a while until I could never live up to the expectation that was put on me. I was expected to act and do as I was told. Never having a voice of my own. Just recently, I encountered someone that asked me a question and before I could answer them, I was told otherwise, this did not end well. Again, I was denied a voice.

As well-meaning as it was this trigger me to react because again someone told me I was wrong, but most times I am not. Many times, other people see me as quiet and shy which is true to a point, but can you imagine that as a child you are told that what you think, say or do is unimportant. This leaves scars deeper than most craters in the earth.  You are denying part of you because no matter what you do or say the people who love you the most, don’t care what you have to say. Your thoughts, opinions, dreams or ideas are not important enough to matter.

There is a general thought that psychics and mediums are quacks, generally because of someone else fear. They don’t understand because they can’t see or hear or experience that same thing that you may be experiencing. From doing countless hours of research everyone experiences psychic or intuition, differently. We all naturally know things, but don’t stop to understand how we know these things. No one asks the artist or musician how they play; or how a writer can write, or farmer grows plants, we assume that is not who we are.

When we think about the work that we do for a living,” why do we do what we do” other than support ourselves. Did you ever wonder if there is a part of you that has been abandoned by you, because someone told you not do it or speak of it or that it was unrealistic or lofty, to get your head of clouds or your ass because they could not see the vision that you had for yourself!

One of the things that I ask my clients is” what is it was that you wanted to be when you were a child” because most often they are either doing it or they left it behind because someone told them too, based on someone else’s fear and expectation, and that was and that is, the other persons shadows or own self-belief. Any person can put you down but how many build you up. It has taking me a long time to believe in myself and trust that I know what hell I am talking about, even when others tell me differently. So, where have you abandoned part of you?



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