-10-6-21 Silent No More (reader discretion advised)

 

7-6-21 Silent No More (reader discretion advised)

The following are things that I have experience at the hands of humans, not psychically, but in the real world. People think I am crazy for work that do and the thing I am seeing and speaking about in the world that is invisible to them that I have awareness of. Below is both horror and the sickness that is pervading this world. These are just small piece of what I have experienced from people I have met along the way. I don’t know the answers to the problems and because they’re so many broken systems that it could not handle the volume of people affected. All I can do is pray that there change and the sooner the better and starts with all of us. 

I was silenced as a child. I was told not to speak about the things that I saw or knew. I have been verbally and physically threatened to behave or be punished by threat of physical harm, if I did not do as I was told by my family, schools, work, and other people who sat by and did nothing to protect me. I have been sexually violated at the age of five when a man flashed himself at me and if it was not for a neighbor, he could have kidnapped me. I have gone under hypnosis to witness being yelled at age 2.5  that vibrated through my entire body and suspect that there is even more being, these are of patterns that run throughout my life and probably stem as early my birth. 

 I had my face stashed by someone who was a friend when her boyfriend and herself wrapped a ball that had tape and nails in it and decide to take it across my face. This same girl did 5200.00 worth of damage to my car. I had another friend sexually assault me when he wanted to show me something in his room because I had been at the bar and took it as a sign that I wanted to be with him. I had a man convince me that he could help me and then violated me, afterwards questions whether I was actually working for pedophile. I have been physically chased in dark by a person and also in my vehicle that I drove right to the police station for my safety. I been jumped repeatedly since elementary school or attacked verbally up until four months ago. 

 I have been called crazy by my family and assaults by my family members numerous times. I watch my entire family be destroyed, to point that I gave up a home, lost everything that I own to that point. Had numerous jobs, cars, and my son take from me even when I raised him for the first eight years of life. I slept in my car, put out a shelter for setting boundaries. I have lived in two shelters and two transition housing. 

I have spent 17 years trying to put my life back together as to why these psychic, mediumship, trauma, channelings, assaults, verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional, physical neglect, sibling abuse, bullying have happened to me my entire life and to others. I have walked away from everyone that I would have called family for the most part of 10 years ago, to understand the behaviors of a narcisistic behavior, psychotic behavior, codependence, and addictions, to true personality disorders and not the fact there is spiritual side of us that is our birth right  for us to navigate this polarized world. Were hate and fear is normalized and love is after thought. 

 I have been threatened to be killed as well as my family by the same man that flashed me. I have been threatened by some of the men in my life who either wanted to control me or disagreed that I had another thought or opinion than theirs. I have been verbally threatened by the courts and by a lawyer to silent me, as well as, my attorney was threatened by the courts because she didn’t reside in the same county as the courts. I have held a PFA Protect from abuse order against my ex for over five years. I fled my birth county because they would not protect my children or myself. To not know if I will ever return to actually live there again. 

I have seen animals abuse by people, I met a child who was burned on arm for not listening, I met a woman who was so badly beaten that you could not tell who she was. I met a woman who was choked to near-death seven times each time she would regain conscious he choke her again, until they arrested him finally put the man in jail. I met a woman whose husband trying to cut her in half with power saw that she is in hiding for the rest of life. I met a woman whose boyfriend would put his cigarettes out on her body to keep her from leaving him in the name of love, but really it is control over them. I have seen a dead body lying on the side of the road and people just kept driving by it all day to include myself because I didn’t know what to do. I can't count the number of women that I met who have had their children taken from them without do cause by the courts in several counties, that have been so removed by other parent that they struggle to continue to fight for their rights and their children, to include myself. 

I have seen children left alone for hours to fend for themselves. I have seen children paraded fully exposed by the mother down a hallway as though none of it matter. I have seen children locked in closets and punishment for being gay or acting out. I have seen children that eat with spoons well beyond that age that should be using a fork and knife. I could not tell the amount of times that I witness or know about a child left under the age of five and younger for hours home alone or witness left in car to go into stores or mall. 

I have spoken with veterans that because of fear of their own lives that they cannot find closure for what they have witnessed, or they were told that they will be harmed by the government or their own families harmed by being of services our country. I have met a woman who put her children in the closet while her husband would come home drunk and beat her every night until she could finally leave him. I have met women who were so isolated by their partner from family and friends that they had fled to stay alive. I have met children who hide under beds while their parents went at it fighting and screaming. I met children who lock themselves in their rooms for fear of being assaulted or violated. I have met women who because of the wedding vows stayed with abusers well beyond the time they should have because they believed in those vows or having no-where, or no one to turn too.

I have seen children locked out of home as punishment. I met a child that they left home for six weeks while their guardian was hours away in an entire state all together. I met children who were not washed for weeks or their hair so matted that you had to cut the knots out of hair. I met and saw children that have sores because their diaper was not changed for hours and or left in carries, walkers for hours on end.  I have been stalked and believe that there is someone still trying to find shit on me through Facebook. Which should be called stalk book beyond corporations that are data mining your information to create programs to track you or the children. I have seen young children cursed up and down who could not even spell, much less talk yet because they were too young to understand what the words meant but could feel the anger behind those words.

I have been and witness to people hoarding so much stuff that there is no room for the children to play and the family can’t even move in their own homes. I met and know of children who take care of their siblings or taking on work in the home because one of the parent/s is so drunk and medicated that they are fending for themselves. Or the mother is so afraid of the husband that she hides behind the Children, so father will not come after her. 

I have been threatened by courts to be put in jail and a bench warrant issued for 240.00. I had to make payments for child support that should have never had happened for custody of my son. I had the custody of son taken from me because I fled to safety and had a contempt order against me to have two judges remove my custody, on a contempt order filing, to then spend months appearing in court on what the judge called a Poor man appeal to my face, to then appeal to the Superior Court of Philadelphia to have the courts send my case back to the county after 18 months of fighting the laws that they broke in the process. 

I have seen parents individually or separately call their child names that I would even think of saying to an adult, let alone a child. I have seen these same children in turn use this language of their on friends. I have seen women so overwhelmed by fear of not being loved that they sit back and do nothing, because they don't see it as a problem or even wrong, to think they somehow saving them. I have spoken to both men and women were dysfunctions crossed multiple generations grandparents, parents, and children to grandchildren that follow them to the next generation because no has stopped the dysfunction and questioned is this healthy. 

Believe me, I am no angel; I carry my burdens that I could have done better or more for my children or the people that I have met and spoken to. I have seen people with every issue under the sun. I had services for what I experienced just with my own life to be given medication to try fix me as they say or to get services I needed, told that I need to be on medication for Alcohol abuse when I have not had a drink over 10 plus years, even before that, All, because there they don't believe there is a spiritual side of us that is force out of us by fear of not being loved, unworthy or never be enough, for being punished, not being the good girl or boy, or not right gender. For speaking out, not following the rules of society. illness or otherwise, because it is not ok to be who you are or when finally do crack open or wake up, you’re like what F is going on, to be placed on mind-numbing drugs unless you’re lucky enough to get someone who realized what is/has happening and what has been buried in you for years in the subconscious is coming out. And I did even touch on women who have been raped or victims of incest, victimized by trafficking, trafficking themselves female or male, or by their own parent.

I am not writing this to guilt anyone or even attempt to fix it because it beyond my means. I just can’t carry this on my heart or soul any longer, not that these memories will ever go away. I want them to have a voice that someone knows what has been done to them or and they can heal or at least try to heal. People tend to think they know everything about a person or a situation – but do you really know what is happening on the other side of that house door, business or your Boss office. Silent is a deadly killer to the soul and heart.  So let stop treating as each other as throw away people and throw away children. So crazy or not, I will continue to help until I leave this planet. 

Just so there no questions about it there are ethics to doing psychic or mediumship work and honestly, I have never asked anyone for money unless they asked or offered, because the work comes first. It has come back to me in other ways and or universe has sent me what I needed. So, before anyone passes judgment take a good look at yourself, because I am sure that there is stuff that you have experienced that is beyond words to express. Whether I speak for living or dead, you have all had experiences that you can’t explain yet never bother to investigate for yourself as to whether not there is truth to it or not. I may not have a famous name or make lots of money, but I will put my integrity before anyone's criticism of me.  

And if there are issues will my grammar or word choices, just get over it. This is writing is to help people get the help they need or for the ones that they need validation that someone knows what happen to them. Dead or alive.