03-29-23 Vulnerability

03-29-23 Same date backward and forward - just different way looking at things. 

The dictionary defines vulnerability as negative verse positive strength. Society teaches that it is not ok to feel our emotions and have desires for our own needs, to express ourselves. That somehow what we think, or feel is not important, or valid. Most if not all, people are looking to connect with other people to understand ourselves, even when we don’t understand what we are feeling. 

Since I have all these thoughts and emotions that I am feeling regarding my childhood home being sold, from bittersweet to sad, regarding the memories that were made there. Adding to the complexity of what each person in my family and their personalities, to what their impact was and is on my life now. It seems difficult to process when there is so many mixed emotion swirling around me. 

I recently watch Pink the singer's acceptance speech about this same title. That we are all trying to fill ourselves up with, with ourselves and people that add light to our life, and that we are not the darkness of what other people have made us out to be, or ourselves claimed, as who we are. When in reality other people's opinion does not define us. If we can’t see our own beauty or divine being-ness, why should anyone else?

When did vulnerability become a negative aspect of a person? We were not created to not feel and that is not what humans are, which are feeling and emotional beings. When we take that part of us away to make us into a robotic machine-like being, you are left with a gaping hole of denial of god-ness. Even now we spend our days spent in a robotic machine-type stupor. We get up, drink coffee off to work, and deal with all that it entails, driving as fast as we can to or home to plop on the sofa, until the next day to do it all over again. This is what is taught to us to do. 

Never once were we taught to create from the heart or love, to see a different world. We want peace and love, happiness, and success -but who is defining it? What do these words really mean to you or us? I see that most of us are running from lower Charkas, more or less, the root charka. Instead of looking for higher means in who we are. We are living for survival, secure, security, safety, and desire. We are working from the broken or perceived parts that we think are broken, which is farther from the truth. 

We were never broken, that is what others have told us, from birth to now. You’re not smart enough, not good enough, you don’t deserve it, you made a bad choice or decision, or not like this person or your brother, sister, or whoever we were compared too, or we did it to ourselves. Based on false information to be liked, loved, accepted, approved, or understood. But no one stops and even questions these concepts. All to become part of society. 

Well anywhere you look there is no normal- it is a fallacy- mistaken belief. I think it should be deleted from the dictionary, along with the word can’t. "Can Not" implies that things can’t change. Well, the world changes every day. Life and death are a natural rhythm of life. Fall, winter, spring, and summer are something that is experienced all year and we fail to see the inner relationship of something so simple, that nature does it every day. We have become detached from ourselves, and the planet that we don’t know who we are at the core. 

The need to have bigger, greatest, more stuff to feed how worthy of who we think we are. Well, hate to break the news to you but everything is directed at you based on psychology, you are tracked via apps, to your searches, and purchases, you are the commodity. To what do people think can we sell to them that they will buy for them to feel better? To make them happy, feel loved, safe, and secure, or keep you in fear of. 

You are what would be a little fish playing in a bigger pond of sharks. The sharks are for you to define! Or you suddenly realized that it is a projected reality of a mindset, based on ego, feelings, emotions, and fear. You’re playing in a matrix of a holographic nature. Even our own emotions and feelings can play tricks on you/us because things come up from the past to be looked at, we are not taught to see them in a different light. Maybe that ex wasn’t the love of your life, or that job wasn’t what you wanted for yourself. Maybe that illness was there for you to experience to take better care of yourself and heal yourself.

Maybe the person passed, so could learn what love is or is not. Maybe the world shut down for us to look deep within to see what is important, and not return to ways that don't serve us. As for people who left was this a soul agreement with God’s plan or not, who to say? 

We're taught to look outside ourselves and not look at ourselves and that it is always someone else fault but is it!  We make choices every day that affect us, and the world around us. We were birth into a reality that was created by others and indifferent time frames. So, are playing the same board game or do we have the ability to change the rules and question even our thoughts and of what we believe is true? And be ok with our vulnerability.