5-27-24 What about Us. (partly-channeled)

I wrote this and it feels choppy. I put mark within it noting when seem to jump. Yet with AI correcting it the marks are removed and when I felt energy shift was removed, but wrote it back in.  

So my morning started way too early and in tears. When I woke up hearing self-sabotage. I am like a guides, God, I am tired. Self-sabotage is expecting the worst. It is not our fault completely that we think this way. It program that we learned early on. This comes from the mother and the father, but generally are mother is a caregiver. This is not to say that Grandmom or another mother figure does not act in place of. This would apply to people raised by a Mother figure in place of the birth parent for whatever reason. 

Then I hear the song Wishin and Hopin by Dusty Springfield, and I am like really. Which took me to feelings of betrayal. Saying, do I not have spirit guides that are supposed to assist me? As a child, I called out many times to the guides or God trying to understand why things were happening to me.. Since I didn't have the support of my birth family and I had contact with this voice or beings, even a Grandparent I learned much later who she was showed up when I left home and was ill. I was left will access to the phone when you just want someone to take care of you. 

Then I hear the song that Pink sings "What about Us" which has 357 million views, is a prayer for help not individually but as a collective. That is 357 million people who feel things need to change and want change. Since we aren't raised by enlightened people or mystery schools with proper education of who we are. It becomes a search within. Previously I wrote about the dark side, seeing things you don't understand or unhelpful people this is of course part of the journey and if it was easy we would not be here. Why it is not taught and here now openly and why it went underground or hidden is because people have tried to destroy knowledge, people, and awareness.  You can't destroy consciousness it is you, and everything. 

When you have to shitty situation and use it as a catalyst, this of course is after the fact, in hindsight. But sometimes we experience trauma again because we have not cleared it the first time and enter into the emotions of the current event and the triggers of the previous event to compound it until we clear it. So how do we clear generations of self-sabotage when we have no idea when or who it started with because of the ancestor lineage?(energy shifts here) I try to pay attention when I am doing this because I am limiting myself by doing it. Playing small because I was taught to be small by others, that because I was small I didn't know or could know and not a divine being that I am. insert: (we wish our loved ones off to heaven, the other side, the afterlife, ..etc. Do we ever question where did I come from?)

What if someone is creating a situation, this could be individually and collectively, globally. We can't control everyone's reactions to us or their behaviors. So where does this leave us? Since we are divine beings, it is our job to clean up our own stuff individually and collectively. This does happen overnight or week, a month, and even longer, and saying someone is not spiritual is ego-based and you as a soul in spirit form, can never not be.

The more we clean up the more people test are patience and the lessons we learned to back us. When everyone is divine and has made choices they have to play their part in their own life. Just as we have in our own lives. This is not to say we have to put up with other people's stuff and this can't be a tricky walk because not all teachers will walk with morals and ethics and conduct. Which is about learning discernment for self and empowerment of not giving power away to another, you are a divine being. 

As children, we learned that our support, love, lively hood depended on the people around us, family, friends, and society. As adults, we have the ability to alter that course and rewrite the programs within us. This is no easy feat. Sometimes we loop back thinking we cleared this and it presents itself again. I can't tell you what the lesson is because it is an individual-to-self and soul contract that you came here to do. People want to know their purpose in life and I found it find you. None of what I write about here or in my journal to work things out would have taken place unless I wrote it down, to look at my thoughts and what I was experiencing. You can't do it all in the head, you will argue with yourself, or other people's voices that have tried to stop you. While the ego most people want to get rid of - is your ally and not your enemy. It's just who has the louder voice. 

When meditating you learn where and who talking. This is where intuition, this knowing and hearing guides or loved one comes from. Since most have put their trust in the external versus in self. As children, we did this naturally until someone stopped us. This is not so millions of people can be card readers, psychics, mediums, or channels, it is to bridge the information to help mankind. In Health, industry, finances, Government, cleaning up the earth and so, so much more. AI can be helpful or a disadvantage - used or abused. Since nothing exists without coming into being when humanity is ready for it. 

People argue with the God concept because of old programs by the influence of the church, When you are told a story of the ocean or sea separating (we are not going to address that here) but you know the story is part of human consciousness. You can't put training wheels on a Mack truck it looks ridiculous when you have not been kind or loving to even yourselves. When you don't even understand yourselves. It is not in grand gestures, they simple acts, and people speak about manifesting with intent for millions, or this or that - can you handle your wish and wants, do you understand money or how to be responsible for those acts? You have plenty of people on the planet now that have the wealth and fame... what are they doing with it? This is not to fault them but their life lessons. Have you ever heard it is lonely at the top and lonely at the bottom, the difference is people at the bottom know and appreciate what they have and top are looking for external validation of who they are. Balance is key. Not too far left or right. Peace is a neural place. All can attain it -does it service the whole? We will leave it for today. 

5-26-24 Send in the Clowns (not edited)

 I have received this message 4x times at this point. When I looked up reference at the circus when incident that cause harm, or death in the show - they would send in the clowns to distract on lookers/watchers essentially from what they saw. Poker is similar in that you buff out the other players. Magic uses sleight of hand. I asked what this means since I don't pay attention to outer world unless I am directed to it? World event. when, where, or how...not sure. 

Ruses- what ever your feelings are towards Trump - that is not my business or the point here. My point is that what I saw and that is limited, that it a Ruse- in that where in history have we gone after the Ex -president for anything, within the last 100 plus years. That all others President's with exception, as are modeled presidents and there acts and discretion have not warrant the same type of investigation. 

Mr. P-Diddy another Ruse. Not that Hollywood/Music industry has dark secrets - how is this redirecting Epstein investigation, of the bigger players. 

If have not watched Joe R and T. Howard #2152 - interesting to watch and listen, even if you don't understand everything they are talking about. There is a lot information being said with suppression of information and he goes into his birth and the infinite potential that anyone can access. He does not mention meditation, I think. Unless you direct your being inwards by question the programs of fear and cultural beliefs, religious dogma, trauma from ancestral patterns, told that you don't have ability to access information or seek self as a Divine being - that all is a divine creation of love and you have been spoon fed dogma to separate from others and self. Warring against other or self for lifetimes to balance karma to play the game again, again. 

I saw and got financial reset again. Anyone watching the markets will tell you the bubble has cracks. 

5-24-24 Someone did a video with their experience with the dark side of Spirituality and this is what I replied.

(this is not edited) Having computer or energy issues.

I want to Thank you for bringing up the dark side of spirituality and esoteric that no-one talks about or denies exists. When there is people running around say or doing, without true knowledge understanding the with all light is dark too. When it happens that there is not enough spoken of it. Your left befuddled what the frick, what was that and why am seeing, experiencing this, there is no reference point or someone to ask. Left asking the (freaking out) to guides or universe.

When this happens in the physical or dream time. we have people doing plant medicine with no clue what they're doing and opening doors that people were not ready for and leaving people in trauma state because they were not doing there own shadow work and integration, studying or mentoring with people real healers vs. looking at it from glam, glitz and big names, Hollywood exploits and others making big money, selling it as cash in, scheme. Really, other healers are guides for discernment and self integration to self.

This can take any form, tarot reading, healing/healers, group meditations, hypnosis, so-called shamans, psychic, medium ship and channels etc.. Even what I write .. you have to decide for yourself. Even when my own guides direct me to things ..I question it. Why? example next.

I went to a Cacao ceremony few months ago, by someone who was untrained to do it. What I did not say was that and I am assuming I blew open four chakras which were blocked, I think. This throat, heart, sacral and solar plexus.. I saw and experienced likes colored cans expanding out of the body. Which I got very sick from which I believe body was cleansing itself. I can not prove it other than what I witness within myself. To someone not even knowing the chakras can freak someone out.

Since I have been walking this in-between worlds thing and have experiences that I could not dream it up, from wild to crazy. I have read countess books and really it does not matter because that is someone else's story -which in no way describes in words or accounts for what one experiences. I have ask why me and most of happens just going about human things like the store, or running an errand. I don't look for it in any form. I spent numerous hours, years and energy trying to understand it. I don't speak publicly about it except here, anyone stuff is their business and unlike Hollywood which is not showing everything. People's personal life is not everyone else's business or for drama fixes. I don't do reading like who you will marry, next job or should you do this .or.. that, that is not my job. Honestly I am not sure what I do and how I do it. We put labels on it but that only defines it and we are much more than we realize, word only hider.

5-14-24 God perfection (channeled)

 Religion teaches that God is the perfection of all things, but the assumption is that there is or was no trial and error or mistakes made along the way. Anyone who has created anything knows that the probability of that mindset is unlikely and unreasonable to get it right 100 percent of the time. We as souls are an extension of God, source, creator, the universe, the is, and all things. As souls in human form create within the dream or matrix of densely and contrast. 

If you want war you can create it, if you want peace you can create it. When the majority realize that does not serve the whole world you have things rise to surface to challenge what you believe and re-create from different point of view. You are conditioned into believing that there is only one way of doing things and yet is that is not the truth? You are taught that Christopher Columbus discovered America, but yet that there were people already here. People who lived with the land. You are taught that the colonies formed here in the United States because of not wanting to be under tyrannical rule from religious freedom, and economic and political for opportunities. How is that different from the past to now? 

Covid was a test for such if you look at it in the broader sense. Can you cut off the entire world, where does the real power lie? Or how much has been given away. Your thoughts are more powerful than you have been taught. War like death begins with a thought. You create fear based on what death, many of you have been here thousands of times playing different characters, genders, cultures, religions, and beliefs, as children you knew this and conditioned out of you because thinking for yourself, meant that you would question what you were being taught, and see an opposing view of a the world around. 

Your told that is just how it is, and are you living in the same conditions as 100 years ago or further back? You have more technology here on the planet than ever before and alternatives to many conditions have been available for public knowledge for well over 70 years but remain hidden to serve whom. There have been advanced beings visiting the planet longer than it has been known, and who again is hiding this information, and for what reason? 

When horses wear blinders, for what reason? So they are not distracted or startled. You have blind spots in your car, you are aware of until there is a by accidentally finding it when something happens. You are seeing the blind spots within yourself and the world that want change, even if think you don't. You did not come here to be stagnant water, you came to witness, be change, learn, and grow. You can't have growth without the distillation/dissolving of what is not working for humanity. 

We will leave you with this instead of looking at things as a dystopia, which of course programmed into you their media, Hollywood and other lifetimes, planets, and the continuing warring among each other; what if bringing the possibility of community, unity, peace and love, happiness for that is where come from. Good day.  

You are shedding old ways, much like skin to evolve. If you were to stop and question is this truth within, you might already know the answer. 

5-14-24 Book reference as PDf

 I had a book that I wanted to reference- called Valor? which could have been a work of fiction. Yet, when read enough books or painting that Ufo are in you have to wonder if  it is truth and validity to it. I had saved a copy for reference, yet I can not find it. Again, Microsoft updates -which is backdoor into my computer and who know what really going on. I am still a skeptic even with what I know and experience. 

Any who. I wrote this piece 10/19/2018 - called the New Human, which I also can't find in the search on my blog. Strange because it not something that I would not have posted but who truthy knows. Since word is blocking my access on channeled information previously written years ago. And without paying them to access my own work. I may not be able to publish it again, unless I find way around it.  Printing is not an option either because that is also blocked and since the web is conglomerate of biggest tech companies. I will have figure way around it, find the paper copy, which I just realized creates another problem with this blog or ask for assistance from guides, if need to be published again. 

Not Ron Hubbard books - which I believe he had access to in some form. Not sure of the validate of the his material written. Since it is known cult. 

I got name Hannah Bell - ? why known. 

5-08-24 Tell a story-unedited

* ????? They guides want me to tell a story. I have too many running around in my head. And because I see this on the internet and it is portrayed as such. Here is my thoughts of it. As I get image of how many pictures of yourself did you take today, of yourself. Unedited. 

Ok so I raised by an alcoholic Narcisistic (not always Alcoholic) - abused verbally and threats daily. . With that being said we attract this person or people because one or both the parents are. We live in a very narcisistic world even more so now then ever before. WE fail to look at history of the world with regards what our parents went through by their parents, and the parents before that. The narcissus is someone who has not look at their own trauma, brings in the fact women were property of fathers or husband until the 70's - boys taught to be macho/sent off to kill, Women to stay inline. Add in Suppress your emotions and feelings by society, wars and threats of bombs on your head, inequality across board, culture, religions, sexual orientation, various illness from aids- covid, 911, etc.. We live a fear based world. At this point you heal your yourself or play a victim of it. And no therapist is going to teach that history, or coach. You want healing forgive them and yourself. Spiritual lesson: take your power back by educating yourself and empowering yourself, versus labelling and blaming - this is soul lesson of the soul. That you agreed to too, to change it and the make a difference. And before you pay someone to emotionally trigger you and not help you. The Triggers are were the healing needs to be. Look into shadow work and heal thy self. If you need a counselor seek one, The word Therapist -the rapist is disarming word, not empowering that you can't heal yourself. When it is lie you tell yourself to empower who!

*This is a my post on internet, were regardless of how many followers they have, as they have no wisdom or knowledge and maybe not even accredited to fully understand or the mythology, religious propaganda with history of such.

*Shadow is unconscious part of are self, that we don't see for ourselves, others do or denied it. Any issue that you have goes back to parent relationship, and your parents learn it from their life and their parents, etc. Apply known history anywhere is the world and you see progression of beliefs, behaviors, idea or thoughts. Never questioning the institution of where it comes from and why it does not change. We know what needs to done and who running our countries, states, what puppets is next. And it will change over few years and in the future. Empowerment is not about disempowering people, for personal gain. People wonder why God does not intervene, were you not sent to see to it. Are all people sent to play less then who they are.

*If not going question what you believe - you can't pass judgement because of only knowing half the story.

edited 5-14-24 my use of the therapist in the context that I used it and how it was given to me. For fact checker out there: The international Psychotherapy Inst. Theipi.org of Philadelphia : https://theipi.org/on-the-derivation-of-the-word-therapist/. 3rd paragraph. explaining the use of. I also word checked it because of it abrupt syntax and a trigger word.

This has two fold view the narc and codep. relationship one is empowered and other less empowered, one gives control and other has no control (or they think they don't) this is dynamic playing out- both are wounding, not acknowledged in either. Karmic wise in another life the roles could have been reversed. Known as karmic debt to rebalance.

There is more complexity to it, but I am keep simple. I am not saying they are "the rapist", it crossed me one day and like a ah moment being how we give our power away. I hope this is clearer.. I am not stating they are that. It was context or syntax of linguistics that we don't pay attention word usage. One word could be programmed to be charged for empowerment or disempowerment. I apparently ruffled feathers with someone.

As empath I am aware of energy of people. When someone leans in to speak to you (unless doing something) generally you sense what they want. By the energy around them whether hello or you did something wrong. As children, when there is no clear boundaries and everything you did something wrong fight or flight kicks in. I had woman recently do this to me and first reaction was step or lean back and realized that it disempowerment, bullying or narcissus to used to have authority over me. When fact is when I didn't she back off for now. This does happen over night. Years of study and even watching and listen to my own body reaction to either gender who plays this head game. This is learned behavior - to manipulate and control. Don't believe me go anywhere and watch the two people interact. I have Empath writing on here.

5-12-24 Reading this book.. Long intro

This information is coming from non-physical beings- this information is transmitted telepathically. I am hearing it like I talking to someone. I feel like it is choppy and not flowing and maybe that is because I am still reading the book. Take the book or what is written as you like. I write what I hear. 

 I was questioning the Law of giving and receiving, the Law of Reciprocity, Law of abundance of equal exchange. This is when I came across this book: Thespirituallaws.pdf. This publication is not for reprint (copyright infringement) nor would I claim this work as my own, due to some understanding of Universal laws, but you start cross-referencing work there appears to be truths with the context of use. 

I have read half the book based on the understanding that Universal laws exist and are not taught by mainstream systems. As the guides and other beings address some of my questions and understanding. I understand that I can not possible learn everything in one day, even one year, or even a single lifetime. This has been undertaken for more years then I have realized that this is most likely a progression of many lifetimes of work. 

I am putting forth the book because it addresses many things that I have researched.  This book is a sum of many books out there and collectively this one is of the most clear one that is well written. This book is a channel book, with that being said and the writer tells you how this was done by him. While I was reading this book I had more questions arise regarding the female/ goddess aspect of history and the distortion of females and women in general with the hierarchy of male vs female in our history, one being the two are not considered equal, when we can not have creation without one or other. Kind of fitting on Mother's Day, whether it is a holiday created or the return of the female aspect of a distortion that has lasted centuries. 

This truth of history is buried in what they want us to know, versus what is considered a more male aspect and as what we reference to the Moon being her, the earth a female, the waters as female, the womb is female, the lineage of the female hierarchy of the Mothers, master teachers as in counterpart of the male, Kwan Yin, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, the various goddesses, and et cetera, in all cultures around the world. This is not an explanation of either, this is what came through as my frustration of questioning what am I really doing and where is this going. Why I don't have help or why was I told that I am a conscious channel who writes, instead of speaks, which is only half the truth and depends on where I am or who I am speaking with regarding this information. 

Since I am a walking antenna in a very alien world of lower thought form and on the planet that I apparently agreed to come with the memory of this not being home for more years than I can count, and dismissed it as a child's imagination, for survival or just to fit into a very divided world. When the reality is that it has always been going on and we are just now realizing it, as there are cracks in our reality that something is really wrong here. Some call the veil. Call it what you like, there is inner knowing that it is off - but what is it actually? Is it perception or the creation of it? 

And as I get information that I feel has no bearing on things, I ask or yell at the universe why am I getting this information without an explanation. At which point I tell the guides that it is unimportant and I am not writing it down, for that is not the point of being here. I am simplifying things because it is just easier than explaining everyday information that comes through. Which I think I don't explain well enough to a person who has done no inner work to question who they are and teachers who find, that what I am saying, says I am passed that, I don't need to go back and explain the process to others. When others are who we are trying to reach and not just like-minded souls, too.

So after my very long introduction and long-winded reference to a book and questions while reading it. Here is the following: This will explain other beings, basic truths, and more if I finish the book. 

*Where energy goes, thought goes. (specifically, everything is energy to have the thought you have to have the energy of the thought. Hence manifesting or learning to work with energy.)

Micaiah? not sure of the reference, or why it was even given. I told the guides I can not research every word that you have given me, there is not enough time in a day or life to solely focus without other resources and help, and interpretation of it. Which I repeatedly tell them that all these factors are playing out and I am not about to repeat what I learned karmically or otherwise. Without assistance is the physical. 

I told the guides that I am tired of hearing you're not doing what you're here to do by other people. To this, I said too often from people who are at a different level of thinking. This is by other people and my thoughts of what I have encountered because why I am not paying you to teach me, clear blocks or understanding, not understanding what you are saying, or my ability to pay you for what you know? All leading to Lack - You're not enough, giving power away, we don't discuss this, attacked or trauma, dismissed, you will only help me if I pay you or we suffer because of the trauma of shadow or previous generations - which only is denied aspects of self or what others have said because they have no idea who they are. 

I say to the guides I have no idea how I got here with my books, papers, blog, and what is in my heart and head. 

And is this my control- and am I laying a format - because I feel like it is everywhere, nowhere to continue my search to make my life what and for what???

When clearly, I have no idea, where I am going at this point, doing or want what exactly? Feeling trapped between two worlds. With no clear picture or idea. So self-directed that I feel ok can get some focus here,  because I could not find a teacher or person that could help me. So I turn to books because I could learn on my own and at a cost that was within reach and sacrificing lots of time and energy and all the other crap that I have encountered. I have quit and surrendered more time than I like and I am like find someone else with all these doors closed. While questioning the ethics of my own beliefs or others to clear beliefs and not even including past life - that quite frankly is happening at the same time and we still teach as if it is another life, which it is also has a cause and effect and not just coinciding at the same time. Another discussion for another day. 

Now as a child playing on the floor, I knew that I lived in a dysfunctional family without knowing how to even spell the word. I did not realize that I was not only living in a dysfunctional family but a dysfunctional world too. As a child, you only know your surroundings, and it is limited, even then too. 

As young adults we want to take on the world or live in the world, until we get kicked around by people, we lose faith in the world, people, friends, family, and most all ourselves- trying to make a difference, knowingly or unknowingly - not understand the impact of ourselves on others. Good, bad, or indifferent. We either help or hurt. Same coin - just different sides or views. 

When you really live from the heart it is open to both. There is no separation of either. Yet, when too much of either, it is out of balance. Love of course involves/or evolves from both. You can't not know great loss without having loved. Most acknowledge the pain and loss, love seems to disappear as a faded memory having seemed like it did not exist at all.  

And the ones that hurt us deeply, stand as open wounds, waiting and wanting them healed to release them forever and stop showing up as nightmares, vs the dream of something better. 

We have a hard time with these indifferences because we know in our hearts that this is not the way. And if the inner is the outer, how much has been forgotten? *Guides step here. Separation is an idea created by ourselves by ourselves, it is a limitation on the construct of the ego mind, the lower mind of me, the man vs woman, God, and the world. The lower contrast to view self, as different. Example follows

 (Take three children born in the same family- they know no separation until inequality happens. They live together, play together, eat together, share everything, pretty much until something happens. You don't know separation or something happens until the creation of a divide. Love -being the core of it. As a child, you don't know or understand why this occurred. You feel and sense something is different- it is like only feeling half of something- it is the beginning of the realization that there is separation, even if you have no understanding of what has just happened because you are still connected to the other side, where it does not exist. 

I asked if can be prevented, because I going to get stuck here trying to explain this or are we all stuck here? because of a selection, choice, decision, action, event, observation, or felt event. By parents, family, society, or womb. - Ok the book touches on touchy subjects. Since we live in a world where often the woman or mother are the giver of life, generally my thought, is that she is the bearer of the conception. Which places blame and shame for not being the responsible one. Of course, blaming the mother or woman is the original cause of shame. Which I am not in agreement with what is told to us. 

So it was explained as follows two make one (marriage or partnership), one and one make one whole, with a different of identity. This of course is simplified because we seek love in another, not honoring the divine in ourselves and each other. That sex or relationships is still taboo or a distortion used and manipulated as a primal creational force. 

The woman becomes a mother, and the act of conception (two people) creates life. When the act of conception is not honored for the creation of conception, there is separation. The mother or woman experiences separation over and over again throughout life. Until returning to heaven, the other side or wholeness. I asked about how this is perceived via male view as the given honor for the act of life or creation. Since I don't have a male physically to ask this view from a higher perspective. I am left with another question because We tend to be perceived as a child and not as giving life. (ok, I don't know if I am being clear here. This is a complex question because we do not generally don't define a child as giving life to, but as offspring of the act of and I wanted information from a higher viewpoint.) Where a woman knows, it is a life and not just a child (assuming ?) 

The guides turn to the the Ego and I question the ego from a spiritual understanding. Since most want to get rid of the ego, which is not possible since part of us. Along with the understanding that ego has not always been part of us, but created by wanting separation from others, as self. Freud has taken this on - again not clearly defined where the original cause was/is.  I believe that I heard, or read something that it goes back to Atlantis, Mu, Lemuria, and other species that came to the planet. 

Guides explain as an alert system.. Danger, trial, and error, much like cold and hot, animal, predator, love or hate, joy or anger, love and loss, happiness and hurt and pain. God experiencing God, as posing a question to self. What happens if I do this? This was explained by: like a cup of water you can keep adding water until it overflows and it turns into a creek, river, and then the ocean. It turns into the universe within universes ever expanding and growing about self. Still all love. Is water, not a liquid, gas, or solid object when frozen (yes) it just is. Everything and more is undefinable and maximum. Your mind is limited by perception, but look at the night sky, and its vastness is magnified greatly. Humans want a person, a being, they can not conceive of something so much bigger or advanced -that for billions upon years, this has been going on. 

You process things in relation to time because you require structure in the linear sense. The universe and cosmos do not work in that fashion- it works in a quantum field involving physics beyond human knowledge, more like quantum physics but that is still limited and different than what is known. 

Your science is just now beginning to understand some of it- but it is still incomplete in theory and perspective because you view things from the perception of what must be seen to exist vs what is unseen. That must be proven to exist- not what does exist or could exist, in a simpler understanding you call it a hypothesis in your world. We will continue another day. Thank you and good day. 

I had not even eaten breakfast before this came through. And I said to myself I need to eat and why did want some sausage and the following came through. Your species has relied on meat for substance, but in the future, it will not be necessary or needed- as you grow and evolve the understanding of plant life will be more apparent. Again thank you and good day.