(also on another Post) - Everything is a spiritual journey, you just don't know it or remember it as such.
Since many people say to me and question the whys and hows? The following is a rough breakdown. I have walked through my life up until 33 or 34, until someone said to read Sylvia Browne's books, which then went into codependency, adult children of alcoholics, neglect, verbal abuse, and narcissism. I had never put two and two together, and this was far beyond the information that was around, at the time, and now, much less spoken about publicity.
I had no idea that there were even books available to read on the various subjects, or why no one bothered to say anything to me, or direct me. As it was still very outside the norm. I should clarify that the guides tried to guide me at times, but I did not understand, remember, or know what I was looking for. As with anyone, we're trying to figure out life, fit in, when we don't, because we came in born into a broken system to begin with. I have always known I'm different, and stopped talking about things when I could verify it, or it upset people, told I was wrong, or a gamut of things that are used to control a person.
2004, 1st realizing that information available, trying to control it, to protect myself from it, because it was as if I was an open door for all of it. Trying to record what I was seeing and experiencing, as I was not actively writing it down. An Ex that showed his true self with the birth of our son, to a Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, or Narcissus. Raising two small children, and actively searching for answers, so as not to think I was crazy or delusional. It is one thing to experience here and now, but to be in constant influx every day, night, every moment, and not know what to do with it, or turn it off, or have help with it.
2007 -2nd Directed to a medium's event, where my Mediumship was blown open, again.
In 2011, I experienced a rather husky man's voice, which opened the door to Channeling. Which helped create this Blog, because I realized that it's bigger than myself.
At the end of 2011, I was again assaulted by some of my family after an event that happened with another sibling. Called an EX to assist, who then made a bad situation even worse. Toward that end, in 2012, of living under the toxicity of control, threats, and eventually, again assaulting me, to flee for my life and with my children, who created a hostile environment for them and me. To spend the next few years moving from shelter to shelter, to transitional housing, to then housing.
2012-2013 Courts and Judges - spending the next 20 months trying to pull my life back together, fighting to get my son back, and that the judge club had another idea of what a contempt order is vs. child custody is, when you leave the county where you live, not the state. Creating an almost impossible court order, with a lack of personal transportation and pick up/arrangement agreement, considering the previous assaults and threats of taking my son away from me, as it looked that they trying to sever my relationship, and pleading with the supreme court to flipped back to the lower court the mishandling of violating laws in place. Putting both my other son and me in a strange space, and tearing apart our family of the last eight years, and continuing on for the next ten years, to this day.
2016 Three years later, forced to put my other son out, again, by the system in place, or be homeless because my other son turned a legal adult, and he had not decided what he wanted to do in life, and because of the courts, ex wanted more money when I wasn't even working full time because of custody agreement to keep my parental rights and basically treatment as criminal instead shared parenting that was joke, and on-going courts issues with not one ex but two. Because I did learn that lesson the first time.
Empathic, Boundaries, balance, rest, and integration... purging - these are all ongoing processes.
2016-2022 Cried every day for the first eight years, not only for one child, but two, and my own life as to what the fuck happened to my life. So if my writing is jaded at times, I have every right to, rightfully so, have that emotion, considering I have been fighting for my life, for maybe the entirety of it. When looking back at all of it. From the earlier memories to the forgotten memories. All, trying to return to a life prior to with all the spiritual stuff happening, or creating a new life that had things in it that I couldn't even think of on my own. I read more books than I can mention, videos, lectures, shamans, hypnosis, Reiki, Psych classes, psychology books, and human darkness within myself and others. Ghost, spirits, Ets, and walking angels, in the form of humans to unseen ones. I have an entire file cabinet in my head, and that's not even close to explaining things. This does account for trying to put me in jail, counselors trying to drug me, a few times, take my driver's license away, countless hours wasted in courts, and the public transit system. Having the sheriff officer walk me into the parking lot for fear of life, or the countless car accidents, or people trying to run me over in their car, or off the road. (And I still sometimes wake up in tears.)
I could even tell how many times this very page has been written, several times over, to question the meaning of it, all. The still, but real broken relationships, that still are not healed from the fallout of the over two decades looking for answers in myself, books, teachers, etc. To have people ask me what I think I am supposed to be doing with it. I say I have no idea, because my heart can't take much more, and it certainly has not been easy or fun, and working a 3d job has been a sea of toxicity of egos with numerous nameless people. To how do I start over again, when neither world is producing a life for me? One, I can unashamedly say I had had enough of both, and out of ideas. This raises real questions about manifestation without real action taken. As it is as individual as everyone's path.
Post on another page, because it is that important. Also, something that is mistakenly presented is that one day we all wake somewhere else, or everything with change over night, which is incorrect, as it is a progression of events. Whereas I have gotten years of points in time, up to 2050, from 2026 through 2032, to 2040, and it seems there is a gap from 2040, (2042 just got) -2050. That is a 25-year expansion plus, give or take. Anyone truly doing this work has been doing it for 30 years or better years.
As I hear from my guides to let it go, and I am like, I have years still of unprocessed crap, and I'm supposed to just let it go, and where is the hole big enough to bury it for good! You would think that all that I've been through, fear would be the last of my concerns. As telling this unbelievable adventure, putting mildly. I have my good days and my not-so-good days. All while trying to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills, and keep food in my stomach, clear the past, and walk into whatever comes next. I have even been accused of being negative. What they don't realize is what I am not saying, and things I have seen done by people without spirituality. Something that I struggle with every day is when someone does something with concern for my life or the lives of other human beings.
If you need more information, you can look under the post for My story- psychic life, domestic violence, etc.. Most of my life is in this blog. It's an unbelievable story, and I'm trying to document it all as much as I can within some limits and privacy. If you feel it is a lot to read, it is, because it is a lot. I don't do it for acknowledgment or fame. I do it because I know what it takes to walk the talk and then some. That which is contained here is not just a story, it is my life and how I have always had contact with beings and even channeled in 2nd-grade reading groups, which is recent memory come back, but was dismissed as having reading disabilities, which could be both, since I walk in the physical and non-physical world.
My story - psychic life starts in June and Oct 2019,
goes into June 2020
then Jan 2021
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