10/25/25 A Video rant!

 

Toxic Mothers and the Impact on Daughters- The title video 

This is crap! There is no teaching that what did your mother experience that made her who she was, with what happening in the world with her life, along with is this a deeper wound of the "Mother" spiritually, as in creation! Where is the forgiveness for self, your mother and ancestor's who step before you. We don't live in enlighten world, but everyone has the opportunity to change it, now in present. We carry on if they did this to us, Is that really true? From spiritual view you came to change what is not working and be a person of change, that does mean you change others, you change yourself of beliefs, programs and the endless need to justify suffering by the hands of anyone. As we keep demonizing the "the Mother" and are ourselves, why? To hear ourselves when not even listening to own self. Your Mother soul journey is her's only, you have choice to be a difference person and not constantly play the victim role. Oh poor me, I had this that or the other thing. Have you even looked at your own crap that you have done to people, the girl you made fun of to fit in, the talking about another to be with the in-crowd, or searched your own soul to see you yourself are just as soul-less. As I read the comments, and listened to 2 mins of man, who is not a woman in this life and feeding the toxicity, vs teaching you your not your mother and have never been. Yes, you have been wounded like the other 8.2 billion in the world, we see ourselves as victim to the story of life, instead of a soul being that can change the very fabric of life. You are love, have anyway be love, and loved, the only one denying it is you. You know who you are, be it.

I should maybe apology for this, maybe it partly channeled and in hindsight abrupt, but it is with good intent, because we/I hold onto our pains like badges of honor to hold onto things that were out of our control, and require us to release them, for they do not serve us to walk around carrying them like heavy backpack. Put it down and release it. If it comes up again, release it again. Forgive yourself and others for their pain, too.

10/08/25 Last post for a while

This is not spelled check or sentence structure. This raw and honest and WTF.  

This will be my last post for a while, if I even come back to it. I am either having a nervous breakdown or whatever.  I am beside myself at the level of crap that I went through, and continue to experience and mental illness by others that is clearly is reflecting something. It has been 22 years of non-stop shit and destruction of my life. And I don't know how to fix my situation any longer. I feel like I am in Earth hell and I spend the last three days smelling trash and feces, seven plus months of saying something and reporting it and I have called the police about verbal abuse to child and told that is just noise, child crying for hours or flipping out of the mother or the child, are not an issue, it is child per mother and he's "four". 

That the Police officer would quote "enlighten me" to that there is no non-noise ordinance and or the nasty letter that I received from complex manager for filing the complaints, even with two other people filing. So, now anyone two reads this, future or anyone come back to will now know that being a spiritual being is not about the dreams, vision, or even experiences that I had. All those things aside have no meaning and in fact at this moment, they are useless to me. 

Also let's not forget about the Forgotten People, as I write I have left my apartment to get air, be in nature and just out of my head. I sat in a parking lot. When I realized that a woman and dog were there among the cars. Trying not to seen or found out because is the question, as to what would happen to her and dog. This is where she lived in her car. No access to anything that we take for grant. People would say, well there is access to programs and outreaches and etc. These are under-funded and placement. This situation is not in a big city, this is rural area and extremely limited, if none, of access to so called programs and transportation. 

This course is as we drive by getting are Dunkin coffee's, going to work or schools. 
She would be a living ghost or non-player as it being called, when of course games are not real any true sense of the word. She and others are one of many that I seen other years. Seen is the word for it, because as we spend our time doing whatever with time, energy and monies. The forgotten live for the day, because they can't predict what will change of their situation, much less plan a future. So since, my heart-strings were pulled to what Frick, I have other choice words. I see her and her dog. 

10/02/25 Aliens and Angelic and other beings.

 10/06/25 Edit: I sensing that someone read this is scared. I would question why you would be scared. I for one, have spend years integrating all of this and more, have learned that more I know, the less I really know. I have always felt like I was in the wrong family, and known that this was was not my birth home, or planet. And when 5-10 years old and can not understand why you feel this way and no one to ask about it, your left to ask only yourself. When you see a show or see something on TV and you connect to it in way that you can't explain and you have this knowing, to it in someway. You question and wonder. I have wandered down some rabbit holes. But at the end of day, does it matter. You have to know your own truth, not what I say or anyone else, for the matter. 

Anyone on this journey for more than 10 yrs, more like 20-30 yrs will have had these experience and be more knowledgeable. As for people less than that, discern and do due diligence. Do your own research and investigating, there are fake people in the real world and the spiritual. I got Barbara Lamb and forgot to write it down, is known for her research, as well books about the Hybrids. 

I have always heard the guides since I was a child, and never thought it was strange. It was more strange to me that other people did not. Oh, the Guides said to me First contact, and I was like, What? So the following is a list of things of over 55 years of things that I carried with me, and they happen more or less during the daytime, meditation, or sleeping. Why do I keep writing about them, as a record for my sanity, and that I know that there is not a single book out there, except for maybe Edgar Cayce, who was known as the sleeping prophet, that documents daily these things. There may be other people, I don't know any other person, and of course, the system in place will tell you it is an illness, or with the world trolls, who have nothing better to do with their lives. I also tend to forget what I did write or not.

Saw a huge round ship with red lights and was with someone, they blew it off as if it was not there. (2012)

I walked into work at 6 AM in the morning, saw what you only described as people with animals heads, like something out of the show Grim and not scary, and questioned can they could see me if I can see them. This lasted for 20-25 mins. I was told by someone that it sounded like I  walked into another dimension. ???  (2018-2019)

Went to a hypnosis/ regression, if you would call that, because I am not sure if me or the person, but I could not relax and settle into complete relaxation. I saw a head of gray being, as if he were looking into the session, all the while not in hypnosis.  While I was there for several hours, when the recording is less than 40 minutes long, I am like, I was there for several hours . To this day, does not make sense to me. (2023)

I was home writing a paper for a college class that I was attending, and I heard, during the day, a loud crash, as if something had hit the ground. I did hear fire trucks or alarms or anything that would say it was a car accident. I felt and heard a long cigar-shaped ship pass over my complex, too. All of which is during the daytime. (2016-2017)

I went to the nearby school and I saw a silver round object and a helicopter to the right of it. It was not a weather balloon, as they would like us to think. This object was too large for that.  

I went to a job for training, as I was speaking to the person, they morphed into a head like a stick figure and a long sucking tube. As if taking energy and the person was only a host for it. (2022) This is not the first time someone morphed or overlaid of it; it was an Angelic being prior.

I had a repeating dream of a white room with screens or monitors and what would be a dental-type chair. I think it is a ship. Off-on for years. I have attempted hypnosis several times at this point, with no real success to confirm or deny, being that life either in trauma or spiritual stuff comes through.

I did not see this, but my sister, as a child, would repeatedly wake up during the night and say they were taking my blankets from me, and this happened multiple times. I would wake up and tell her to go back to sleep. I don't see anything. Whether it was happening to me or not. I have studied hypnosis and attended events trying to see if, in fact, I was involved in it agreement of soul with beings. I have yet to confirm that I had experiences that I have yet to recall.

I had a dream about a boy who looked like my son, but was not my son in real life.

The two blue children - I was writing or reading, and I looked up at the window, they were a boy and a girl children, they seemed smarter than the children on earth. I questioned what I was seeing, and it was long enough to question, as to whether I am really seeing this, and in a blink, they're gone. I even got up and looked for a measuring tape to see the height of where they were, because I was sitting not 4ft from them, and they were on the outside of the window during the day, looking into the window. I did come across a book with what I would say are the images of these beings. Then it got me thinking about the old Disney movie Witch Mountain.

I have woken up to hear rest now.

I have heard soften, soften repeatedly. Which is to soften my heart.

I have had a pink blanket placed on me while napping.

Seen multiple orbs of various colors multiple times inside my apartment. I have seen Beings walking through the room like shadows, or actually see them as physical beings.

I have a conversation with a being or person that I can only explain as a giant in stature during sleep. (2025)

I was having a really rough go at why I had the life I had, and matters with my children and demanding that whatever soul contract that I made that I be released from it, and during a nap or meditation, I encountered myself in a room, a cave with three very human-looking beings speaking to me. Like a picture frame and what seems like a cave, talking to me and telling me something.

I have been shown both a female and a male being that were around me.

I have seen a crystal city. It lights up like a prism shining as the sun goes through it.

I have been on space spaceship that had different levels and creatures, and was told to keep the unfriendly creatures down there, and had to tell a creature that was not human that it had to stop touching me because of it curiosity, and we humans like are personal space and boundaries. (2025)

I have been in an underground space/base that I don't know if they/he saw me or I was remote viewing it, and that had an elevator, an atypical man in black, and smoking a cigarette, and different block off areas.

I think I have been on another planet that had some type of mass destruction, and people or beings were living in the rumble of rocks or building debris. I was not the only person that I saw, as there were five, maybe in total, carrying guns, an ATV, and walking. And beings, that looked really white and pale or gray.  And not human in the sense that they looked human,  more humanoid. Like they have been living in the darkness or limited light for a long period of time. They could have been human like us, once. As they look human.

I have various beings around me and can not see them, but sense them. Sense and see them before waking up. (ie, you know when someone looks at you, you feel them, or your eyes are closed and you know that child, pet, or if your 3rd eye is open, you see them.

I was at a local tourist area and saw two males who I knew were not completely human by their presence. I have even gone to a local store, and there is a male there that I know is both human and another species. And have questioned, does he know or I know, that as I am looking at him, finding it odd to look at him without seeing a different self or being!

I have been on an elevator within the last 7+ years and know that I was on there with two Angelic beings in human form.

I have met people who feel slimy or buggy to make my skin crawl.

I have gone into choking spells when I am around someone with an attachment ( I think), yet I can not clearly see it or nor do I know what to do with it to remove it.

I have been kicked off someone's website because I sent an email asking about a podcast that they are doing with a woman and saw a large white snake around her neck, and of course, I don't tend to look at people's pictures anymore because I may see something others don't see, and I'm not sure what my face is expressing.

I once was looking and talking to an older gentleman, and as I was talking with him, about idle chat, I literally felt myself enter into his eye, sounds crazy, when I jerked back, which I am not sure if he was aware of it, because to me it felt a pull of sorts and snapped out of it and the conversation.

I have gone to the theater and could not tell anything about it because I have no idea what happened during the show. I only remember sitting down and the ending, and my then partner asked me what I thought, and I could not really tell him anything because I felt I was not even in my body and could not even have a conversation about the show. Years later, I watched a video about the play to try and remember anything about it, and to this day, it is still blank.

I have had my son say to me, Mom, you have watched this before and I have no memory of it.

I used to watch Supernatural and had to stop because I couldn't prove it, shit was coming through the program.

I have had twice a being floating above me while sleeping, and turn on my side and call on Jesus or God himself, and it disappeared.

I had a being walk through me and was told that most people do not survive it. I have looked for information to explain it and to confirm it, and to date, I have not verified what happened to me or verify what I was told.  

I woke up from sleep after attending an event and not sleeping for 24 hrs straight to feel like I was not in my body but backwards, and I could see rainbow colors around things. It happened for one day and has not happened since that day.

I have seen orange light around someone's hands and even felt my own hands channeling some type of light, energy, or I was not understanding why it happening at the times that it was and because I think I was inundated myself with so many books that my mind has not caught up or it the events of things that have happened in the real world. That I was experiencing one thing, and on the other side, my world is experiencing extremes of what the frick is happening. To only figure out how to walk between and not feel like I'm straddling realities or losing my sanity.

I have seen tall beings in my room when I was fighting to get custody back, and there were at least three of them, and they had to be over 10ft easily. (2013-2014)

I have been at my desk that I now sit at, and felt what would be like wings that surround me, and I believe I had this event, because I said I don't know what the energy of AA Michael! I do now. People ask how do you know, I am not sure, because as there are fake people in are world, there are fake ones in the spirit world. It takes practice to feel the difference. Only you can tell the differences, because I have messages from being and they sound off, so I don’t post them, or I question them.  

I went to an event for 3 days of hypnosis, and I have no idea what happened there, but I barely slept and constantly had to go outside and ground myself, even considered sleeping outside one night because I felt like just spinning and spinning. To one point, one of the facilitators got extremely upset with me, and I tried to explain what was happening, but he snubbed me altogether. In fact, I told him he would write 3-4 books; he was working on his 3rd at the time that I stated this, and he asked how I knew, and I told him that I have been like this my whole life, and that he questioned it, even with him doing hypnosis as a profession. He questioned me on how I could know things.  This is not my first encounter with someone dismissing me or what I do. If I could explain how to do say a-z, I would, but I can only write it, the best that I can, in the hope that someone can relate. (2023)

Then have to attempt to explain it when I don't clearly understand myself, and even recently I sped at hyper speed back into body one night and just watched things fly by me, whether they were people or things, or colors. I have no idea, other than the speed at which I was moving.

Building - So I used to have this dream many times of going to this building or house, a Mansion, it was rather large, and in it there were all these hallways, and it was dark and gray and not much light, and there were all these children there. I asked someone, and they never told me what it was. I think it was the lost souls of children, children who fragmented due to trauma. I am not 100% sure and have found nothing to support it. I also don't know if I was taken there for my own inner child soul or something else.

Falling off a cliff - I had a dream that I was driving with someone I knew, and we drove off the cliff, and where falling, and I again called out to God to save me. My take on it was that the person I was friends with was not supposed to come with me, and I had to let them go.

I have a dream that someone and I would go to this woman, there would be a house, a tree, and maybe cutting wood; every time we went there, she would be reliving the day. Like Groundhog Day. I think we were there trying to get her to cross over based on the house was not of the current time and seemed much older in time.

Dreamtime and seeing white dragons in the sky and knowing that they were returning to earth. (2025)

Along with the Blue children, I had an experience either before or after, where I full image of a deer in like in Harry Potter, appear before me, this again is in a waking state and during the day. Was it my own father in spirit, like Harry Potter, was it a spirit Animal or Guide! Questions.

I was also meditating, and what would be a tribal Mayan man crossed in front of me, feathers and all,  fully dressed in the entire, as such would be. I have had various images, a metal Spanish plume hat, and a hawk gauntlet glove for Falconry. Are these past lives (which are real, currently living, running simultaneously)? I just note them in my books.

I have two portals appear, once it was a black square, and it was as I was waking up, and another orange one that appeared in front of a class that I sat in for college philosophy. (10 yrs apart)

This same class, different day, a man appeared and seemed to split in two directions. I then encountered someone who told me about a friend's son, and I explained what I saw, and she stated that the parents want him to do something, and he wanted to go in a different direction. So he was being pulled in two different ways.

As a note that whatever personality the deceased had here, lover, cheater, funny, jerk - they come through with those characteristics. I had a spirit show me exactly how much of a Ladies' man he was, and there was no boundary with him.

Animals - So I have encountered animals that have been abused by humans, first a dog, and then other was I went to a farm for retired race horses. I could not touch the animals due that I would not have stopped crying, and the pain that they endured from the abuse that they encountered from their owners. My son was like Mom, pet them, I could not explain or bring myself or even if I forced myself. I don't think I could handle the level of trauma they experienced at the hands of people.  

The last time that I experienced that level of pain in the body was my brother's car accident, and he was placed in a medical coma. Just being there sent me into non-stop crying. (my search bar- brother’s accident)

I lived in a building that was once a mansion. I would experience half body, why is a good question. I would see the top half of the body or the body with no head and just legs down. I believe at some point it may have a facility for bedridden people, because apartment doors open out rather than in.

I think I worked in a house/building that was either a funeral parlor or connected to body disposal.

I once had an entire building appear that had not been there before, and not the day after. You want to talk fringe shit. Windows appear on the building and then suddenly disappear. What entire wall morphs like a portal in front of you? Trippy is not even close.

I have had two round spots of hair missing from my skull. I was told by the doctor that stress causes it. The thing is that I had no hair found on my bedding or anywhere else. You tend to know or find the hair, considering you comb or brush your hair every day. I then had to shots to have the hair regrow in those spots, both were on the same side of the head. I am not saying that something nefarious happened, but one has to wonder what DNA is actually in the hair shaft itself.

Google states that illnesses, like autoimmune disease, and a few others. I have never been given a diagnosis of this illness, which is really your body attacking itself, or you attacking yourself. Then again, I have only seen the doctor two times in the last 15 years, once for a cut that needed stitches and a very weird check-up, and the doctor pushed every known test on me. When I asked why, and constantly prognosis of the what-ifs, she became irate with me that I would question her ability. Never given any reason to justify the cause for the assistance of these tests. This is where medicine has become big pharma, in farming illness vs. right health, and a balanced life. And if there is illness, it is there to teach a lesson, self-love possibly. It's kind of funny as I look at the words now, karma, dharma, pharma.. Pharma was plants, karma is the actions, dharma - one's duty and the righteous path in life. 

The attacking self could be a Critical parent, a neglectful or abusive parent, left to figure out by yourself, and when an answer was needed, let's say school, you did know, or forgot, creating an I am not good enough from any of these things, by people who either are supposed to love or guide you (teachers), because we live in world of instant gratification and memorization, instead for true critical thinking, integration and for possible informed inquiry. (This can be subconscious, because told to listen to everyone else, instead are self self-first). Add in other beings, and that whole different line of questioning. Note edit: this is my view only and I am not a Dr. or Psychologist, counselor, tried that root and deterred by very arrogance, view of it.  

This type of inquiry also does not allow for a query with regard to the family unit. As to what is happening behind the scenes, home life, stability, and security are. We tend to think of the terms home life and changes: death, birth, illness, divorce, accidents, at a later stage in life, as causes, when it is not, and never the truth.  Life begins in the womb and continues until we leave this world, and again, not allow for the generational dynamics and generational trauma of what are parents experienced and grandparents, that were never discussed and processed, and healed.

Many of the above are mentioned in the blog somewhere, I think. I write these because I don’t  compare notes with people. I find some people get upset, or their ego is, without a doubt, in the way.  I don’t claim to be an expert or even a teacher. I write what I experience, when you have no one to ask, and books, really, don’t go into details, and being left to figure it out is just as frustrating, from one person who still gets things like What is this for? I get a lot of random things, and no, I don’t follow them all.

I questioned intuitive information all the time, because one should. If I write something and I hear it, so the question becomes, am I seeing/hearing it before, or am I manifesting it, which is it really for the posts or verification for myself? To question Why aren't things happening, as in manifesting for me? True learning of anything is always being the student; there is never a fixed answer or question, or just being present and observing.

Edit Note: Again there is no chosen one, every person has chosen to be on Earth now. Yes, some are teachers'. Everyone has the abilities to do this and more, just has Jesus, taught. I am not any different then anyone else's writing, experiencing, channeling or do healing, or speaking about these things. As for world chaos, I was told more then once, that regardless of what media creates as fear this planet will never be destroyed. Whether you want to believe in ET's or Aliens or whatever, they will stop the destruction and disarm. They are not here save us, we are here to save ourselves from destroying ourselves and planet. 

And my experiences started long time before I even started meditation. It could be because my soul chose it. I really don't know, at this point. Meditation or even guided meditation helps - because we senses beings, meaning are senses are overloaded, Data, noise, traffic, could smells, media, ends chatter, lists of goals, doing, etc.  

10/02/25 Already whole and complete (half a Channeling)

I wrote this from a place that is indirectly opposite of what is taught. Firstly, you have never left source or God or whatever you consider the creator. You came into experience the of contrast of not remembering who you are. Forgetting who you are or most have. Some by Soul agreement, some social conditioning. When you think about where did I come from as a soul, you think I was born from my parents, so who did my parents' souls come from, again, again down the line backwards. The Bible will inform you in the garden of eden. Where God created man/woman. That no other or one beings exist in the entire of universe. When you dig deep enough and questions enough, you find that the answers are not sufficient. That there must be something else.

Now just image that you don't know your true history, your parents never questioned their own history, and again down the line it goes. Generations of people (all people) not truly knowing themselves. Not one religious text claims to be God, but that they were give information via trance, meditation, teachers not of this world, who come to teach humans, humanity that they were more than they were told. All the while teaching suppressed, by the church, governments and wars fought, persecution, threats of death to self or your loved ones.

Creating a hierarchical system of power, knowledge, money, greed, control, and that you are blinded to the truths that are inherently yours to know. Instead of allowing you to be free and independent to create, you are  indoctrinated in what to think of the so-called normal or feel a different way is wrong and that you are systematically flawed, even with a book that you have stated otherwise, that are your sins per se, even with having already been forgiven, and who sins are these anyway.

Yes, things have been done and said, without fully knowing who you are. That is not what is at stake. To then be told that you should be punished for your errors and judgment, because you lack moral character, and to see the effects of these erroneous beliefs. Nothing is not of God, and the belief that one should be punished for sanctifying yourself because you're not of God, or any being, as it is not holy in itself. When you yourself are of God and never left God, or source, and you have been directed to lose or chosen, to not remember your God essence. You can not take God away from God itself. God is everything, everyone, and all thought and everything that exists. There is nothing that is not God, source, prime director, etc. Call it tree if it suits you.

You are taught to label everything, down to the smallest atom or quark. All of which is still God, source. You define reality by things to distinguish, identify, and try to make sense of what you're experiencing, all of which is still God. It is as if you have gone into the dark and dingy basement and are looking for all the things that scare you. Labeling them good or Bad, frightening and joyful, or otherwise. All these things are you and have always been you. You have agreed to forget and play hide and seek with yourselves.

* I had stop this transmission due noise that was disturbing. So I am posting what did come through, as it is. 

 

09-24-25 Intuitive Information

9-01-25 thru 9-25-25

9-01-25 I am not sure why I showed this other than for explanation. I shown three women in my complex right before waking in the morning having black seeds at their chest level/ torso. My first thought is cancer. I asked why I was shown this, since I have no contact with these women. Why was it necessary for me to know this information?  I have only ever encountered one other person, and it was a blacken area, and I had to explain it to non-speaking english person, and she looked at me like I was crazy. I don't know what became of her, and I have no intention of telling these three women, or if it was presented as something entirely different that I don't understand yet. 9-24-25 I did hear harboring ill feelings of self, others, like seeds of darkness.

Psilocybin 2x's in week?

Something about Due Diligence - which legal term

9-02-25 Star beings

I had a woman (deceased) come to me - in full meltdown mode - something about someone having a gun, right before I fell asleep. I kind of snapped because I not awake or asleep yet, and why she came in at me in full panic, in my face, I had to tell her I was off the clock, as I am sleeping. Why am I telling you this? It is because, as a psychic or medium, intuitive, boundaries are important. Secondly, there are 7-8 billion people in the world, and she was not really saying anything that I could do about it. I know it sounds cold, but if I don't hold boundaries to take care of myself and I would never get anything done, or sleep. There are also two wars going on.

I was given community-based- If any in this world is going to change, it is going to be grassroots and local, first.

I want to note that I have questioned why various teachers are charging for a community, tribe, or membership. I get it, and I don't. I have my own issues with money flowing and question the reality of this since it seems like, well, I'm only going to teach you, tell you, if I know that your committed by joining my tribe? Still working that out. Waiting for a better explanation from the guides.  

I got Pinch red? No idea what this is? someone's inside joke?

9-04-25

Something about Changing History ? When we all know that history in itself has been changed, unless you live under a rock.

The name or place ? Neville - And the only name that came to mind was Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter?  

New Orleans ?

Whitmore

I woke up from a nap and heard Chimera - It is greek, the head of a goat, lion body, and a snake for tail!

9-5-25

Bon Vista ?

I wrote this, not sure why? Infinite Movie on YouTube.

9-7-25

Tower of Babel ?

A storm is coming

I heard via thru me or elsewhere - Suffering is the Teacher-  * note the Buddha explains suffering is attachment - I suggest google better understand.

9/8/25

Image of a Woman holding a baby in a car - this would be quite old since Child car seats were not mandated until 1985, and older ones were quite crude. Use of the word of quite ??

9/11/25

Something Parliament? I said which one ? Country?

Something about a cease and desist order - Legal term

9-12-25

You are the Matrix !~

9-13-25

The following is out of order, because I wrote how I remember it:

1. JD and Sons
2. something about buying a horse or pony for a father - selling, asking about whether father knows anything about taking care of Animals, hay, etc.
3. Something was said about how they can walk to the house and back in the same amount of time.
4. Something about the mother and young Buck.
5. (I feel like someone was buying a horse or not a foal, and not a horse yet. This may be between two farms within walking distance. This is not city blocks or suburb blocks - farm distance, more like miles, when every area has a different name for the distance between them. As in over yonder, or 5 plus miles down the road or hill..etc.
6. I heard the name Jack - person, place or animal. It does go with JD above.

********* Page break same day *****

Heard- Radio Silent?

Again got Neville 2x

Name Elijah

9-14-25

The word Enigma - is a person, thing or statement, or situation that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand, in simple terms, a riddle.

9-15-25

The name: Jaco, not Jacob. I could be mispronouncing Vaco, Laco, and or Chaco.  (not Taco) haha. See guides humorous 

I heard God in the details vs the Devil is in the details. Since very things that exists is God and consciousness all the same time.

So I ask myself a random question about some tarot posting I saw: As an example, Pimp you out and some other weird shit, and I heard it has been bastardized and then degraded, corrupted, and distorted from its original intent. This is not all readers, but the ones that create discredit for real readers, and when they don't understand what they are doing and the power of words, and then they sanctify them for Hypocrisy.

9-18-25

I woke in the morning to say over and over, Montesan, until I wrote it down. It may be misspelled.

9-19-25

Buenos Aires ?

9-20-25

Gobekli Tepe Turkey

Hearing Figaro, Figaro Figaro - Opera ? message, did someone think they were an opera singer, jokingly, or maybe it's an actual song?

9-21-25

Something about night blindness -

9-23-25

Shown - Apple snacks packs and a recalled - told to write it down

Image of a Helicopter and something about the bolts (rivets) as if they are pointing them out to me. Like see these lines of rivets on the side by the door, and not that I have any idea - pilot side, but I am seeing as if I am looking at it with tail to the right and front to the left.

Note: I don't follow the news, media on any of them, I post only here at the moment, and I don't watch the weather, as it 85 one day and 55 the next. I don't follow politic and or endless scrolls feeds. If it crosses my path then, yes. I will. I will not comment on these stories of narrations of control, fear, or manipulation. I will never state (deceased) that so and so came to tell me something, when so many are fakes or clickbait. The best anyone could do trust own intuition and do your own research, not feed the breast. 

"Feed the Breast in a idiom"- suggest looking it up - 

Discern, discern and discern. 

08-31-25 Intuitive Information

 8/21/25 - any time there 2x or 3x is the amount of times that it repeats - sometimes in a day or multiple days

Heard- Come as you are ? Nirvana Song - message to someone, 2x's

Heard - Scottish? no idea

8/22/25

Ok, I keep getting the Dragons are returning? Yes, sounds crazy, that is ok, because I saw them in my sleep, and I was told that they are returning. Why, I don't completely understand. I understood it in the dreamtime as I watched them fly over my head. In this reality, well, they would be invisible to most and come from a higher dimensions of reality. I asked why, but have not received an answer, as of yet.  They are white, and this is not the first time that I got Dragons, and they are not reptilians. I have searched on my blog, and I wrote about dragons before and told someone not sure when something about a dragon moon. Yet, every culture has a history of Dragons. My understanding is that they are ancient beings and not a dark distortion of some great evil.

8/23/25

Keep hearing Sheryl Crow- all I wanna Do have some fun, another message to someone. 3x

8/24/25

Heard the following

Cut the head off the snake? I am not sure what the reference is for this?

This hand feeds that hand? Back-handed or backroom deals? What is not really being seen.

Double down?  

Song- A little help from my friends or with a little help from my friends, actually two singers, Joe Cocker and the Beatles (message again to someone)

8/25/25

Again, the Sheryl Crow song from above.

Heard hybridization?  Not sure about this directly. Since we all carry DNA of not just from our parents, but from all of creation.

Flip the Script - of self-talk?

08/26/25

I got Lockdown - is this a future event? not sure. When I look up Market crash -in my search bar, I have said market crash, because it has been unstable since and before Covid (2020), and many have gotten the same information, as well, up to over four lockdowns (2020). Was it part of Covid, possibly, and now exists on another timeline. Not sure. Again, if put market crash in the search bar, it goes back 2007-2012. I no longer check to see if an event happen, unless happen in the same week or so, or I am told directly.

I should note that I have no control over what I see or what I am shown. I don't always understand what it is and why I am getting it. At which point, I ask or not, wait for it to show up or not. I have even been told not to intervene because it part of someone's soul agreement/contract/blueprint- same meaning just different words.

The word Dissidence 2x means protest against official policy, opposition, disagreement, protester, and marching... 2x on two different days

8/27/25

Words that I was given, they kept repeating like on autoplay.

Uni- As in university ( this is outside the US, because we don't normally use the reference to college)

Something again- Dodgy ?

Hearing - A sleep at the wheel? Could be literal or metaphorical

8/28/25

Heard the morphogenic field -  it is changing. Also known as the toroidal field or Torus Field, which is the energy field individually and the planet.

Yeshua?

Acronym D.O.G - not  DOJ? Not sure how it applies, since there are several uses of it. There is a reference to DOGE? Again, not sure.

8/29/25

Woke up to hearing a National salute/ song ? Not sure which one, because they all have their own Anthem.

The word chicano- ? said j'cano ? American-born descendant of Mexican culture?  Not sure of the use or why? 

08/27/25 This is message that I spoke about in post

Below is a message that I got and have mentioned in a previous post, I passed on the information to a person who was a in between person, as they were connected to the below person in some form or another. This is not the entire message, but a summary. I did not alter the writing, it is as it was then, when I wrote it. 

4/4/11/09 The following is a message that I met a woman connected to information and knew that I would  meeting her for other business, but knew that I was being guided to pass the following information to her to tell someone the she was friends with:  A young woman with a young boy went to ghost store to purchase John Holland’s oracles cards, when she went into the shop her eyes begin to tear up. There a seminar or event going on. She went and left by a back door and turn around, there was a small boy playing Superman and had a skateboard. I then saw a river with a large boat and a battleship possibly and then I saw the young boy again calling out for his mother. There was a painted alleyway near the ghost store. Then they walked down a hill or up. She saw a car back up backward and hit the cement medium and pulled away fast. Then the (they) did it a second time, again hitting the medium. Then after that, the boy was in a big puff of dirt smoke and boy was calling out. The boy and the woman had been walking along a river maybe the Delaware River. There were two other boys who came by her with her son following behind some feet away, she got pushed away. I remember her stopping and looking for son. There were different colors and writing graffiti. Then I woke up – It was the boy who was telling and showing me this and the hill maybe been an overpass with a bridge under it. There were train tracks and water. Always skateboarding in this area. (note: the woman did not verify the letter that I wrote verbatim but indicated that she didn’t know all the details but sound like it was accurate.)

08-25-25 Who is question, caught their hand in cookie jar?

  8/05/25 

8/25/25 Hearing post this. 

Heard: Caught with their hand in the cookie Jar? Well, some of us still sneak cookies when we know we're not supposed too. Just because you can does not mean you should. I believe this about a person or group of sorts that get caught doing something that is wrong or forbidden. The guides did not clarify who or what. I guess we'll see how it plays out. I don't believe this is political because no one is really telling us the truth when you get down to it.

Let's talk about having a tell like in poker, which plays into the above. I think they are two separate things, that is, being present. So most know what a tell is, it is something that one does that shows their hand in poker, or more well known as a sign or signal, or even guilt. So, when guilt is learned, I would say as a child, depending on your situation at home. It is like putting your hand in the cookie jar. Your parents or someone corrected you depending on their emotional IQ. Learning, as a child, what is acceptable and what is not. Now, as a child, depending on that situation, you either got caught and learned not to do it again. Mostly, because you were afraid to get in trouble again. And depending on the person, it was explained why it was not ok, or far worst, depending on how your parents or someone learned this same lesson and challenged it within their own belief systems.

So the question becomes, is it innate to the human experience, as in your a child and pushing boundaries or test limits of what you can get away with. The extreme of this is a psychopathic personality that believes it is in the right, regardless of the outcome and the effect on others. They normal have no remorse for their behaviour or convinced themselves that it is not affecting anyone or anything. This concept is and can be applied in much larger scenario that is pretty much playing out on the world stage. Most people learn the lesson or a form of it, where they question their moral compass, as it is worth the backlash. This is all ingrained into you as a child getting caught doing something, or in a group, or the entire group got blamed and punished for something.

Hence, the saying one apple will spoil the cart. Do white lies play into the guilt of essentially putting your hand in the jar? I think the lie is circumstance, because most people don't want to upset other people's feelings, which could be the extreme of people pleasing for someone, or people to like you, that is a question one needs to ask themselves. As in, do I people please, and why do I do it? Then there is white lies in the chaos of things, which has a much broader reasoning and is complicated and has it own complications, as in the constant media feed of fear and to make you afraid of people or ourself, along people playing their parts in this punishment's, judgement and I we will destroy you for not believing the same as a myself, or another person, group, societal, cultural, etc..  A layering effect of manipulation. Which we see again on a world scale too.  

So why is it difficult to accept honestly or be honest, is it a fear of judgement, which is ultimately being judged by another, or judgment about oneself. This, of course, is learned early in life, with the family dynamics or friends, relatives. Well, hell, it is even at the doctor's office in relation to child milestones. All of which is not a standard across all areas or culturally. Yet, we define things bases on these established guideline that for intensive purpose are not working and crumbling under the stress of a false hierarchical system. Labeling things to Timbuktu, and not the area in Africa.

So what is the point of this? Are we seeing the world jar crack and what comes after it, or what replaces it as it cracks are being exposed to the truth and light of the deception? And does it start at the bottom, as I have experience five different people, two separated incidents, within two days, of being guilty of doing something, and I was the observer of both events, not intentionally. The stuff finds me or me it. As a group of three people, they did something, not even sure what they did, but knew they were in the wrong and felt guilty, by the looks on their faces that they got catch doing something. Then there was this couple, I can not prove it, but have to assume that they too were cheating or involved in with other people, and I again observed this, and from "tell" or reaction, something was off. I have no idea who these people were. Maybe it is like Jenga and the sticks will fall because of deception, and all will be asked about their own thoughts of deception in the world and within our own lives.

There are a few books and videos on this very title of

Art of Deception - And the Art of War, which I wrote several years back in 2020, and another one is about cybercrime, is about the same objective and a whole gamut of open doors for the way that The Art of Deception is used against humanity for (I heard feed and bleed), and am like, what? So I stopped to look it up. I am not sure of the reference, or I just picked up something else. Please look it up for yourself because feed and bleed can be used in entirely different contexts than listed on Google, and a context that I heard many years back, and I could not find a source on at that time, only the use of it in Maritime law, which exists in books long before most have even been born. I am only stating the Maritime law because I did find something today with transportation and maritime law with regardless of present-day use and human trafficking, which is yet another large-scale problem in high-profile cases. As in the use that people presently, from birth to death, as human commodities, to our current data world of information, used as an asset to a much larger agenda.  

This is where I get annoyed by the guides stating things that are a certain part of an old world and not of the highest integrity to serve humans now, as to why am I writing about it, now? Now hearing the old ball and chain, which of course is only valid if you believe that you're not a sovereign being, in and of itself, have the right to self-govern, your own being. 

8-17-25 Feeeling Energy

Yes, Feeeling Energy or using your senses- like old 70's song, corny I know. 

Let's play, take your two pointer fingers and put them together, facing each other, now, slowly pull them apart. What you're looking for is a white film, string, etc. You may or may not see color. What your seeing is the energy that is around your body.  If it does not happen, try again, or change the light or background can affect your view. This is like when it rains in the middle of a hot day and steam rises off the pavement. Yes, you may feel like your eyes seem unfocused. It's like squinting to see something small, because you're looking at something that you forgot about, that you can do.

If you practice, you can do this with a plant or tree and even a candle in a dimly lit room. Practice is your choice; more is better, less is longer. There is no goal here; this is not a school with a fail or pass grade, this is to remember your innate abilities.

This is easier to do with limited noise.

You have all felt someone standing behind you. Why? Because the body is sensing there is a presence, whether a passed loved one or guides, boss, or friend, etc.  You are feeling the energy.

So,  why am I bring this up! Because it is not told to you what you will experience during a healing, meditation, or studying anything with regard to a spiritual modality. Not that everything is spiritual. And no, you don't need psychedelic or plant medicines. You are the source, will always be the source, and will never not be part of the source; there is only one source.

So you can and may experience tears or sobbing, tingling anywhere on the body, flinching, spasms, which is energy moving in the body, eye twitching, or face twitching. Hot and cold, and often after healing, it is not uncommon to be cold because the body has just released something. This can be convulsions, body jerks, or swaying movement. Laughter, giddiness and joy, or happiness, and euphoric. I don't see a lot of teachers explaining these bodily phenomenals. This is also about feeling out of sorts, by out-balance or fainting, and having to use the bathroom and a lot more. Backward in the body- feeling your not in your body fully or  not fully ground back in the body. If your with someone, a teacher or a person, tell them, because they can help by giving you water, telling you to sit longer, or breathe, or assist you, that is there job, if they're doing this work.

And not leave you feeling in fear or anxiety, carelessly letting you leave to get in the car, where you like what the pickle, just happen, and creating a mind spin of nonsense. Any good teacher will tell you to eat light (no not McDonald's) and lots of water. The cleaner the water, the better. Also, depending on the healing, your energy can be all over the place, tired, and or like the Energizer Bunny. This is normal, but if at all, rest, or light activity, don't go home thinking you are cleaning the garage, attic out, leave it for another day. Also, try not to make other commitments on the same day, ill-advised. We live in a world that wants us to be doing 95 things a once, hell, we have apps even now for that, because you are told if not doing something, you are procrastinating or too much of a dreamer. Well, God dreamed Earth into being. Don’t say that to the teacher; they may not like that.  This is not about doing, it is about being. Your being is physical, mental, and spiritual, as well as some other things.

Another practice, intuition, is to turn off the multiple ringer on your phone and not look at it to  answer it. Guess who's calling before you look. Your mail to read it, turn it over, and guess if it's trash mail or a bill. Use your senses.

Take a Reiki class or buy the book - and don't overpay for it. The only difference between you and the teacher is skill level, and you can and could succeed them, because that is the point, to past on the information, teaching it, getting skills, and learn what they know, so you can pass it to the next person.

Any teacher who states, or says, that they are the only one who can bla, bla.  Say thank you, and move on. In fact, if they disrespect you or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, again, move on. What teachers don't tell to is that you're pushing through programming since you were a child, or beliefs that you hold or were told, and your resistance (ego, or Fear) because the body, mind, and ego will try to protect you. You have a built-in safety mechanism - which was developed as a child or coping mechanisms and spirit, and your own spirit/soul does not always use love and light, and joy, to get shit cleared.

This is a short list of feeling energy. Think about how a deaf and blind person sees and hears. They using energy, vibration, colors,even with limited vision or hearing , by tapping, echo sounds. You don't see the wind all the time, but you feel it.

Storytime: A few years back, I had a class that had to do research on a culture I was not accustomed to. Due to limited travel and time, I chose to do on with a young guy who was deaf from birth, and his mother didn't know that he was deaf until he was two. Not sure how that happened, because children are tested at birth. He could not read lips, either; he only signed. Which is not considered a language in the college I went to as an accredited language class.  That is for another day and argument, for the way we treat people who are outside the so-called standard. I digressed, my bad. I could only communicate with him via text message, as I did not have a camera on my computer for him to read my body language, and not all comfortable on camera, when you feel everything. 

As I was speaking with him via text, I had an image come through. This is what I was given. I saw him and a woman, both young, standing on a ship or dock in a Navy uniform. I then saw or felt an explosion. I think it was why he was deaf in this life, and the woman then from his past life was his mother in this life. I didn't verify it because, well, you can’t, and I was told not too.

It was part of his soul contract in this life. For reasons only known to his soul, he chose it in this life. Why is this important, because the Guy told he has limited senses, but when I spoke with him, he had heightened vision, colors were brighter to him, sound or vibration was different in the way that we are used to normally hearing it or dismissing it. Even with a limitation on his senses, per se, he had heightened abilities. Helen Keller is a prime example of what one person can overcome to open doors for others.

AI question: Teachers - I will not necessary reference anyone, because that is part of the process to trust your intuition. As in, you can not know good food without eating bad food.

Sources: Books that are written about energy, hands and energy, and energy healing, Energy and body. My books are currently put away because I am out of space. There are even chiropractors who don’t touch the body and move energy in the body. I met one, but he would not explain what he was doing or seeing. I get it, livelihood. Cha-ching.

This is how Acupuncture, Chinese Medicine, and reflexology work, and other modalities work, they work with the body meridians, energy centers, charka's.  Even chiropractic work was once seen as quackery, not long ago in the past.

Side note: If you don't like to read, your reading skills with improve, also, question why you don't like to not read, because you were forced to read stuff you did not care about, or you are both an audio and visual person, hand-on type? You have to understand how you learn information. And schooling is not always teaching - they do have to now with different learning styles, or bias on learning by the district or their own programming.  I will get an example. I purposely got kicked out of my science class many, many years ago, because I was not going to cut up a frog. Why, because how many frogs need to die to understand the anatomy of one? Yes, there is evolution and gene mutations, etc. The point being, it was not necessary. I can look at it in a book, at which I can look as much as I want to, and not be haunted by a dead frog image. 

8/21/25 Intuitive

 8/13/25

Heard the Caroline's North and South

8/14/25 

- A male spirit -keeps says "his secretary"- has come to me severals times. I don't know if this older male spirit, since we don't tend to use the word secretary any longer and use Admins., now. As in Administrative Assistance. He is also a little annoying and pesky. 

8/14/25

Got helicopter Mom- ? This is phrase which I heard - this is the overbearing Mom, micro managing her Child's life - I suggest looking it up because more quoted as a psychological issue and I am not a doctor or counselor. 

8/15/25

Something with Prince Harry? As I wrote this I got winner, winner chicken dinner, (look I just write the message) When I looked it means celebratory or gambling?  Because I know it as a slapstick of you got right answer. 

08/16/25

Heard- Enemy of the State - movie ? something else?

Something about: Bait and Switch 

08/19/25

Heard a closed loop system? not sure of the reference since there are several references on google. 

8-15-25 Someone asked why I don't do reading for children

Firstly, it is not that I don't read for children; I have seen some pretty horrific things that have been done to children to control them, including in my own life. I have said in a previous post that one of the first experiences that I had was when I was not even old enough to cross the road. Beyond my own experiences as a child. I can still see clouds of energy above homes, and even now, I can walk or drive by homes that have this energy, even people too. 

I had several children, mainly boys, come to me in dreams or while waking up in the morning. Recently, I heard a little girl pray, asking God why her mother hurts her. Many years ago, I had a boy come to me to show me the entire story of where he lived and how he passed it another and then to his mother,  who knew her directly. This was an entire three-page description of the location, what I saw, and what he showed me. I was directed to this person at a consignment shop. I am not sure at the moment whether he was killed accident or was murdered. I was never directly told by the boy, who I believe was more of a teenager.

I have traveled in dreamtime (sleep) several times to children who I believe have been trafficked, and even to something that is far sinister. I can not validate what I see because they happen during when I am sleeping. Unless they show up on my radar, I don't go looking for them. Why boys, not sure. My only thought is that because I am Mom, and when you're little, you want your Mom.

Normally, when these images, visions, and impressions show up and I wake up from them, and quite frankly, they are startling to the psyche, because you're seeing them and of course don't understand why you are seeing them and where to do you put them. You can't locate them or determine where it is happening, and even if you do, who is going to believe you! Without confirmation or some type of descriptive local, area, or information, they are more or less events. Are they events now, in the current day, or past that have already happened, as in my three-page letter to a go-between person to the parent of this boy.

As for my own stability and security, has been placed in rather difficult situations over the years and not having proper training, because a weekend event or course does not cover this in a way to prepare you. And as a single Mom things had to take a back seat to doing readings, when your trying to provide for yourself and your family. Honestly, I think I signed up for the school of hard knocks and had to live it. It has only been recently that there has been a drive in spirituality, which falls under the catalog of psychic or intuitive, channel ..etc. Even with those three I listed, there are different degrees of how or what a psychic is, to a medium/ intuitive, and even labeled as a channel.

I self studied when I could no longer afford to go see people to understand how people delivered the messages. And rather some well-known names. I have encountered people of lower ethics and question many of so so-called  tarot readings out there. I have nothing against tarot readers, but when people are not cleaning up their own stuff and people are throwing around things that cause more harm and healing, there is something very wrong, and I have questioned as to whether you are giving your power away if you are not seeking guidance within yourself.  I had people say things to me, and it happened with this past week, where I told know my place and shut the hell up,in other choice words. That I had no idea what I was talking about. So I asked the guides what to do because it has put me in a weird position. I ask the guides again why I keep encountering these people. What is the point of doing this work if I am getting shit for speaking my truth? Which is life lifelong lesson at this point.

I previously wrote that "given enough rope, they hang themselves". With the situation in question, I was told to know my place. I gave to guides and they gave me above message. I give back to the guides and God to take care of, I can only do so much, when someone does not want to hear it for themselves. I am just a messenger, and saving people is God's job.

So, for reading a child or children, depending on the situation, it can be heart-wrenching, whether they have physically passed or are physically alive. And we forget that we were once children, and children grow up to be adults, too. That if you have not resolved childhood trauma through shadow work and healing to understand it was never your fault or that you were never flawed by any means that those secrets kept in the closet are peeking their head out to be looked at, even on a global level. You can only sweep dirt under the rug until the pile gets pulled out from under it. As inCEO, cheating, trafficking, high-power people using their power because they think they are untouchable, leaked lists, documents, you name it, and more.

We call it the great awakening or Ascension, when we should be calling the great revealing of deception to humanity.

These are AI questions that came from reading my post.

I have never been directly asked to do a reading for a child; the spirits just come to me. In any reading, there is the sitter and reader, the psychic, medium, and the person asking for the reading. I don’t walk around stating what I do, because it has had mixed reactions. Most things come out of my mouth, story or situation, or experience. As I have never known what to do with the information, I write it down or write what comes through, because if it is a clear message or vision, I can write about it. Disturbing visions, many of which I have had, I again write them down. I ask the guides why am I seeing them, sometimes I get an answer and sometimes not. I indicated I got a message or vision seven years before meeting someone who was an observer to an event.

I'm not sure why it happened or why I need to know about it. I am not sure why they even shared it with me; they were a retired police officer; maybe just telling me was their way of releasing it, as in a haunting memory.

Discernment - how do I discern? I write them down in a book or here; some I have not posted yet, I question them, if I don’t understand, and some will play on repeat until I do something with it. Discern, discern, discern, psychic or intuitive, medium/channeling is not about the thinking mind or ego. It is feeling and using your senses. Using what you know and adding to it. As an example, we all met people we liked or did not like, and never questioned why. This is programmed out of you as a child.  From your parents to school, etc. Until you stop listening even to yourself and rely on validation from others, approval from outside of yourself, because you're told that the answers are out there and not within yourself. You're told that you can’t possibly have and know the answers, and only other people hold the answers, and taught to memorize things without thinking about whether it is right or wrong, or in a grey area, or that schooling is a limited structure, and not critical thinking.

It also requires work on your part; this is not something learned overnight and takes years in the process. I have quit more times then I would like to mention, because is this worth the aggravation when people don't want to hear the truth, or rather like their unhealthy lifestyle of not having to take up the responsibility for their actions. You don't change the world, you change yourself, and your world changes, and we have even seen extremes of that, too.

I write because I have searched for books or even teachers, and no one speaks about the work involved, and I am not selling, that it is all light and love, because it is not on this planet. The truth part is that your soul is having a human experience in a body, and that whatever has happened to you, is not who you are, this is but one life of thousands, and you're here playing in this one you're current live in.

This a belief explanation, more involved with ancestor, and soul contracts, as there no one book explaining everything that your soul came to be or do.  

If there error's I had computer glitch, and decide not try rewrite what was already written. Still work AI corrections, when it is not as insightful and my thoughts. 

Doing this type of work is not about the way someone would, it is making your own. 

08/01/25 Intuitive infor.

 8/02/25

The expression- Right as rain- meaning completely well and healthy- Expression that someone uses, message?

8/03/25

Hearing the song  - Great balls of fire- maybe a message to someone.

8/05/25

Heard Art of Deception, The Art of War, which I wrote back in 2020, which can be found using the search bar.

Heard- Getting caught with their hand in the cookie Jar?

8/06/25

Hearing the song Ebony and Ivory - is it connected to singers, as well, we will have to wait and see.

8/07/25

I know that this has been out on the internet. I was reading something that had nothing to do with Trump. I saw a sign that Trump dies, and the President is dead. ?? A future event. I want to say natural causes.

8/08/25

Sleeptime - Earthquake New York, as I watched the floor and things shake around me.

I also got Atlantis with the above earthquake. Why? This is my thought only,  that it is because many souls who had previous lives may or may not get triggered by these events, because it is part of souls history and the collective. When they have to realized that those events are in a different spatial time of history and not part of events now. Not that there is a real spacetime, because everything exists at the same time. Only used on Earth. Much like a radio or our TV, by changing the channel or frequency, or even Youtube channel. You tune in to what you want to view or hear. edit I wrote space and time two separate entities. I am questioning the use of these two and changed it to spacetime as single point, which the use does not exist, if everything exist. 

8/10/25

Sleeptime: I am standing in front of a bus or mack truck, semi truck- with the words Little Big Girl, - I believe it is a message to someone.

heard: Hey, Hi Sis - this is male - this had no physical name, just Sis, and this is only for whose brother referred to her by Sis only.  Never referring to her by her first name. Like: hey Sis, ok Sis, where are you going Sis, My Sis can’t be a pain in the butt, etc.

The name - Katya, Kat'ya - I heard as it was being spoken with a Russian Pronunciation. I have gotten this same name back on 9/23/22. Maybe it is connected, not sure. Can be looked up as Katya in the search bar.

I heard this to this morning to idiom: Give someone enough rope to hang themselves.

Song - Hit Me with Your Best Shot- Pat Benatar- (this may be a message too

08/04/25 A goal that I met

 Beyond all the weirdness in my life, when I started this blog years ago. I set a goal of one million words

So today I met that goal. Goals don't have to be so abstract that they are not, impossible. It may not be like walking on the moon, but it is my moon.

1,009,538 total words analyzed by Grammarly

7/31/25 Things I been asking the Guides about

The following is my experience. I am writing this because there is so much misinformation, and when teachers tell you not to listen to your thoughts, or that it is you, you tend to get lost. This is even more so for a child and then as an adult to clear blocks or stuff that you have hidden from yourself to feel safe in a world that is so divided, and has been for a long time. As I am trying to figure out why people can't remember their gifts, as they are a part of you, and as natural as breathing and how I am suppose to help myself and then other people. With the following things that have happened over the last few days, that I hope to make sense by writing them down, about what seems like choppy writing.

So this morning, I flew into my body at hyper speed, while I watched all around me things pass by me, call it a tunnel, or I am not even sure, at this point. Beyond the fact that I could not see everything that was coming by me, I saw for a brief moment a child on a grassy mount, and a hand floating by in a plastic zip bag. I questioned whether this is something or a metaphor. Upon waking, I'm beside myself, and I am like Why am I seeing this. This has nothing to do with me. Along with the speed of coming back into the body.

This is not the first or last of these things that I see of things in my sleep, which of course rattles my reality to the core. This has always happen to me, I see things and my mind can't understand why it has happened. Now, just imagine your child and this happening to you often enough, you're questioning it. If you’re like me, you did not have a person or people who believed you, and often dismissed you or told you were crazy or wrong, it is your imagination or even vulgar to make you feel stupid.

I have spend countless hours reading and listen to other people stories and have yet to find someone who experiences the same things or just validates my experience. This is one of the reasons I started this blog to validate for myself that I am not crazy or dissociative by the medical system we currently have available, when in reality, there are other avenues, indigenous cultures that teach otherwise. I was asked by the guides why I don't have relationships in the way other people do. Which I stated I don't know, and why are you asking me, if you (the guides) know the answers? I realized by this event this morning, why I don't have more close relationships, and the answer is because no matter who I tell things to, they are not listening.

I even remember an event that happened, as a child, that I could not validate because I was too small to even cross the street, much less a major road. When you could not get validation even for yourself, regardless of other people's thoughts. With the same image would replay itself. You question things and reality. You learn very quickly not to say anything and even about things that personally happened to you, because no one is actually listening to you, or validating, much less comforting you from these experiences. I heard from the guides that people can't teach you what they don't know or understand. I stated what about you, referring to the guides. When I would call out for help, because of these two world that I seem to more or less walk between. Chirp, chirp from guides.

I have had three different things come up over the last few days that I said to people in the last six months. Then it happens, of course, I can not say something like Hey, did I not say that to you about yad, yada!  I had events play seven years after the fact. I don't know why it happens that way. This is why I stop engaging with people, because you get tired of fighting with people that can not see or hear, or anyone of the other Clairs' abilities that are not gifts but innate to everyone and every species on the planet.

My only thoughts are that because we are conditioned by society and linear space and time, and that we are taught it is moves on a straight line, when none of that is true. Another reason is that we are taught that we are not more than this body and spirit. That only chosen people, or the church, know that truth, and the rest of us are asleep to the fact. I understand that it is taught that way for a multitude of reasons. One, we can't understand it or the physics of it, because we agreed to forget, along with if we understand that everything is happening all at the same time, we would become fragmented and not focus on the present moment of the now. Which seems absurd since we are always doing multiple things at one time.

So in addition to my vision this morning, I have been filing complaints with the complex that I live in for several months, and last year, for a whole other crazy reason, I don't completely understand why I keep encountering years of trauma or observing, or witnessing these real-life situations. So my situation that I am encountering involves a child and their Mother, who is abusive, neglectful, and screaming and yelling, and she does not listen to the child. All of which I am very familiar with, since that is part of my story with two parents. Now, most recently, other than the constant and daily insanity of this, this mother was putting this child in the shower, and the child was screaming It's too hot. This went on for an hour of banging, yelling, and I finally had to leave my apartment, at which this is happening in an entire different apartment altogether.

Now, I am not the only one encountering these daily outbursts of the parent or child. I was told by the manager of my complex that maybe I need to see someone , after saying I can't take any more. I want to leave the planet, the insanity of it, and of this complex. At which point, I am explaining my frustration of the situation and venting.  When I indicated that the other apartment is wrong or their actions or behavior, but that I should see someone, where I explained that I should not have to see a therapist for my neighbor's behaviors and actions, to how does that even help when I am living next to this situation, which of course is not within my authority, other then move. As I am trying to clear my own stuff and what is mine and was taught, to what I kept hidden even from myself, to be able to function. To my trigger of abuse, neglect, and to be safe and be heard and seen, to actually be listened to.

This is now headed to six months of daily complaints. I also questioned why, to the guides, why am I enduring this? Why am I in this situation again? Why do I keep encountering these people who have no desire to actually change their lives? I also stated this, because a prior incident that involved calling the police, whereas the police stated that it was a apartment complex problem and they really could not do anything unless there a physical harm or altercation, and observed problem, which of course, by the time they show up has stopped, or quieted down, until the next time, which normally in the same hour or repeatedly in the same day. While another tenant was assaulted with a weapon and charged with aggravated assault for protecting herself against the other person involved, who initiated the attack. This is, of course, is are backward legal system. Something I have my own encounters with.

In my own history, which was prompted by the child yelling, a memory of my brother, who was burned at age two in an incident that should have never happened. I remember the scream that came from him as a child. This involved boiling water that he climbed up to the stove in another room. I was not in the room or nearby. Now, I am sure if I may have just realized, that I was blamed or carry the blame, for not being aware of not watching him or knowing where he was, because in reality I was only 11 at the time. It was always placed on me that I was supposed to watch over my sibling, even when there was an adult in the home or not. So the above shower incident with the neighbor reminded me of that incident that I never spoke about, or was dealt with, because nothing was ever addressed or spoken about; it was always a closed matter without ever doing anything about anything, or the assurance of safety. (choppy, I am trying to connect dots)

Years ago, there was another incident that involved a sibling, and my mother said why did you not say anything. I point blank, said you would not have believed me, and I left it at that and walked away from her. Eventually, later for 10 years, until two days before she passed. This is what I learned: that no one listens to me. Now, I am older and really don't care if you listen to me or not. I don't do this for anyone, except myself, because of years of family trauma and abuse, and more after I was awakened after the birth of my son, and all the people who did nothing or left me alone, to figure it out on my own. I think my life has always been traumatic and spiritual from the beginning.

All I have are these written documents that explain my life, even if it is just to explain it to myself. People forget that things of paranormal or of spiritual conversation have only been with us, the last 20 years or so, and with the creation of the internet for a larger scale. Yes, it has always been here, far less known without the internet. Unless you know that you need the information or are seeking the information, it is out of most people's awareness. This is why functioning in the 3d world versus 5D, multiple realities, galactic and interdimensional is very difficult, because there is still limited information to most, to the masses, and then there is, whose truth is truth, what truth is correct, all or none of it.

When you read enough books, which of course are other people experiences and I of course challenge them with the guides, as if we are sovereign being, master and the creator's, and the teachers that are available of which is not always affordable or available to most (arguably this could be a belief in lack, soul contract/blueprint/karma) etc., whatever.  

Many teachers will tell you it is a belief of yours, or you are the creator, without explaining that you may have a soul contract that is not about obtaining abundance in the way that we are taught about, by so-called teacher's out there. When everything that you are is abundance, as well as health, food that you choose to eat, the relationships that you have, and whether your beliefs about yourself are true, or open to change. This reminds me of a statement that I heard, You get the Love that you think you deserve. Which is a fallable statement, for one, most people have no idea what a soul contract is or the blueprint of what your soul chose to learn in this lifetime. That would help you understand the various experiences. Even the bible speaks of polarity experiences, and many Master teachers chose to seek out these questions, answers, and understand this. Some by studying, physical experience by leaving a life behind, and again to seeking the deeper meaning of life.

I also challenge and ask the guides, if you're still spending time following someone after 20-30 years of your time and your money, which is energy and abundance at the same time, what are you learning? How I  understand that it is not possible to be enlighten to master level in one lifetime, because normally (assuming) that like a soul being, this is life- times of coming back again and again because it is not possible to explore all of various realities at one time, when we can't explain simultaneously and parallel realities (mandela effect), which is that we are much less moving daily between or moment to moment, between realities depending on the choices we make. Do I absolutely understand it, nope. The guides will show me things, and I am like my real life is as unstable as the weather.  Then it down-poured as I wrote this, and I forgot that my windows were open and my car now has water in it. This would be a questions that I would say to the guides, What is that about? And wait for the answer to show up, and why not say something to me? You hear me because I hear you.

This is why I am writing this now, is that when you listen to any teacher and they are not explaining to you or given clear guidance to do your own shadow work or meditation and coming up the same problems, which I keep having the same problem for a very long time and same patterning over and over and your directed to a ritual, or elaborate meditation, to ask the guides for answers, that does not come, and feel your on the wrong planet or wrong bus to nowhere land. As in myself and my experiences, going back over twenty-some years, and maybe it was planet alignment crap within my birth chart, which may or may not hold true.

At some point, you realize that other people may not have the answer and just live with what is, or fall into a trap that it is always you, per se, because again that teachers will say it is something with you, a projection, a belief, and resonance of your vibration that attracts people around you. I don’t believe that your always mirroring something about yourself in that way, to just reflect back to a you a polarity of you, because that would be its own mind trap of something is always wrong about yourself, we're always moving between polarities.

Most teachers are not dealing with people in the way that most of us are, or with people on the planet. So to constantly say and tell you that it's you versus the planet, or reality, or a much bigger game of hide and seek with yourself, is just as much about the polarity that we live in. And can we start teaching the right way? Is my statement.

What I write here is not channeled, or maybe it is; it is my experience and my life. I write about it, firstly, I don't want people to think that they are crazy or not feel listened to, as I have my entire life. (This is redundant from the earlier statement; maybe it shows that this is not as easy as cutting and editing a video.)  Even as I live in the most absurd things around me, this can not be all of my projection, and what hell am I really teaching other people and learning, because I can't explain the craziness to myself, in hopes that someone else can even begin to understand what I've seen or experienced.

When, of course, people, videos, books, and TV only show a very limited view of it. This is not even going galactic or dimensional, which is stated as something out there, separate from you, but you at the same time.  I hope this is makes sense after this morning and a lot of days recently, and I am like, can you ground me somewhere and clear enough of my field, so I am not flying off planet, like a spinning ball on a string, out to never, neverland.

Then again, a teacher would say go ground, meditate and I am like can you go pee for me because moving in my apartment next to mother who is playing the forgetting game of soul in human body is terrorizing her child - that could be a soul contract or large scale about the wars, wars against humanity, war with each of us, against each other, or simply yourself. As in your microcosm is a reflection of the macrocosm, and the wars out there are wars within you. Which I seem oddly part of me within me.

I do and try to make these writings 500 words or less, but again, if you can't find 5-10 mins to integrate something, which at this point has been about at least 8+ hours of my time. Then, well, the question becomes, if I (as in you reading this) have these abilities that would help your life, why don't I have access to them? And I am like, guides, I just don't know anymore what I am doing here, am I offering a different perspective, or perception?  I feel like a mediator between worlds, or what hell did I sign up for? The guides gave me word I could not say it, it like seminary, missionary, which is more biblical connotation. I am ok, what the pickle.  

As I am writing this, Grammar AI has changed the way that it does things,  and AI wants to actually change my expression of the material or writing to be more like AI versus myself. Yes, there will be errors and grammar issues and sentence structure,due to the amount of trauma-related issues that I had and ongoing spiritual things happening. There is nothing I can do to fix it and just as I work through it, nor would I know how to at this point, when I feel like two different people. This is what AI actually said: The text is deeply personal and honest, but it may be difficult for readers to follow and lacks clarity. ??? ME: It is like landing in Bumble Ruck and saying How did I get here.

Side note of thought, when you wonder why people are the way they are: As an example, why things are happening and when it is going to change, Change is individual and outward to the whole planet. I will use myself as an example; I would not have looked into anything spiritual, had someone not said something to me. As for the child next to me, one of many, that I have seen or observed, let's just say 20-30 years down the road, they show up as negative attributes, criminals, addicts, narcissists, psychos, homeless, control issues, etc. All without ever questioning for themselves because we don’t ask the questions of ourselves to get answers, to then grow up in whatever conditions that were in the our earlier years and into adult experience, we are relearning or reliving those same beliefs again, without questioning it for y/ourself, and if you are like me and have been receiving the answers by other people, for the entirely of your life, as to how the world works, and told well that is just how things work in this world.

As I recently encountered by someone, when they projected that it's the schools fault for her kids did not learning how to problem solve or resolve personal issues, removing herself from the responsibility of thinking, guiding her children, and that it is someone else's problem to fix.

*This is what I heard her say, beyond what is stated above: Which is, of course is placing blame on the system that we have agreed to come into and challenge it, by not taking responsibility for being part of the problem and change. Let's leave it to someone else to fix it. I can’t be personally responsible for my beliefs, behaviors, and actions with my children and educating them, it is a God issue, it a church issue, it is government issue, it is corporation greed and the laws maker who have the problems to solve it, or whatever nonsense we use to denied our self of our own sovereign rights, and I walked away saying to myself, saying Okay, good luck with that thought or thinking, because you just showed that you are not open to change or your thinking, muchless the possibility that things can be different.

This is where one is "reigning" your own free will over to outer conditioning, instead of owning your sovereignty, and not giving your power away to an outside force, which is the direct opposite of who we are. It is like me telling you who you are, versus you remembering for yourself who you are.

If you don't question your beliefs, "as what was taught to me", do I still believe it, do I believe this because I want to be loved, or approval, acceptance, to fit in, etc!

This is where the think tank question came into play, from a previous post. I asked if you could destroy a person with energy if you have enough focused energy on it. Now, most people have felt someone was around them, walked by, or watching them. Felt someone standing over you. (And not about tracked technology). I raised this question not for the polarity of it, but my aim was that you can, or if enough people focus on a different reality that you can create change.

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