8-15-25 Someone asked why I don't do reading for children

Firstly, it is not that I don't read for children; I have seen some pretty horrific things that have been done to children to control them, including in my own life. I have said in a previous post that one of the first experiences that I had was when I was not even old enough to cross the road. Beyond my own experiences as a child. I can still see clouds of energy above homes, and even now, I can walk or drive by homes that have this energy, even people too. 

I had several children, mainly boys, come to me in dreams or while waking up in the morning. Recently, I heard a little girl pray, asking God why her mother hurts her. Many years ago, I had a boy come to me to show me the entire story of where he lived and how he passed it another and then to his mother,  who knew her directly. This was an entire three-page description of the location, what I saw, and what he showed me. I was directed to this person at a consignment shop. I am not sure at the moment whether he was killed accident or was murdered. I was never directly told by the boy, who I believe was more of a teenager.

I have traveled in dreamtime (sleep) several times to children who I believe have been trafficked, and even to something that is far sinister. I can not validate what I see because they happen during when I am sleeping. Unless they show up on my radar, I don't go looking for them. Why boys, not sure. My only thought is that because I am Mom, and when you're little, you want your Mom.

Normally, when these images, visions, and impressions show up and I wake up from them, and quite frankly, they are startling to the psyche, because you're seeing them and of course don't understand why you are seeing them and where to do you put them. You can't locate them or determine where it is happening, and even if you do, who is going to believe you! Without confirmation or some type of descriptive local, area, or information, they are more or less events. Are they events now, in the current day, or past that have already happened, as in my three-page letter to a go-between person to the parent of this boy.

As for my own stability and security, has been placed in rather difficult situations over the years and not having proper training, because a weekend event or course does not cover this in a way to prepare you. And as a single Mom things had to take a back seat to doing readings, when your trying to provide for yourself and your family. Honestly, I think I signed up for the school of hard knocks and had to live it. It has only been recently that there has been a drive in spirituality, which falls under the catalog of psychic or intuitive, channel ..etc. Even with those three I listed, there are different degrees of how or what a psychic is, to a medium/ intuitive, and even labeled as a channel.

I self studied when I could no longer afford to go see people to understand how people delivered the messages. And rather some well-known names. I have encountered people of lower ethics and question many of so so-called  tarot readings out there. I have nothing against tarot readers, but when people are not cleaning up their own stuff and people are throwing around things that cause more harm and healing, there is something very wrong, and I have questioned as to whether you are giving your power away if you are not seeking guidance within yourself.  I had people say things to me, and it happened with this past week, where I told know my place and shut the hell up,in other choice words. That I had no idea what I was talking about. So I asked the guides what to do because it has put me in a weird position. I ask the guides again why I keep encountering these people. What is the point of doing this work if I am getting shit for speaking my truth? Which is life lifelong lesson at this point.

I previously wrote that "given enough rope, they hang themselves". With the situation in question, I was told to know my place. I gave to guides and they gave me above message. I give back to the guides and God to take care of, I can only do so much, when someone does not want to hear it for themselves. I am just a messenger, and saving people is God's job.

So, for reading a child or children, depending on the situation, it can be heart-wrenching, whether they have physically passed or are physically alive. And we forget that we were once children, and children grow up to be adults, too. That if you have not resolved childhood trauma through shadow work and healing to understand it was never your fault or that you were never flawed by any means that those secrets kept in the closet are peeking their head out to be looked at, even on a global level. You can only sweep dirt under the rug until the pile gets pulled out from under it. As inCEO, cheating, trafficking, high-power people using their power because they think they are untouchable, leaked lists, documents, you name it, and more.

We call it the great awakening or Ascension, when we should be calling the great revealing of deception to humanity.

These are AI questions that came from reading my post.

I have never been directly asked to do a reading for a child; the spirits just come to me. In any reading, there is the sitter and reader, the psychic, medium, and the person asking for the reading. I don’t walk around stating what I do, because it has had mixed reactions. Most things come out of my mouth, story or situation, or experience. As I have never known what to do with the information, I write it down or write what comes through, because if it is a clear message or vision, I can write about it. Disturbing visions, many of which I have had, I again write them down. I ask the guides why am I seeing them, sometimes I get an answer and sometimes not. I indicated I got a message or vision seven years before meeting someone who was an observer to an event.

I'm not sure why it happened or why I need to know about it. I am not sure why they even shared it with me; they were a retired police officer; maybe just telling me was their way of releasing it, as in a haunting memory.

Discernment - how do I discern? I write them down in a book or here; some I have not posted yet, I question them, if I don’t understand, and some will play on repeat until I do something with it. Discern, discern, discern, psychic or intuitive, medium/channeling is not about the thinking mind or ego. It is feeling and using your senses. Using what you know and adding to it. As an example, we all met people we liked or did not like, and never questioned why. This is programmed out of you as a child.  From your parents to school, etc. Until you stop listening even to yourself and rely on validation from others, approval from outside of yourself, because you're told that the answers are out there and not within yourself. You're told that you can’t possibly have and know the answers, and only other people hold the answers, and taught to memorize things without thinking about whether it is right or wrong, or in a grey area, or that schooling is a limited structure, and not critical thinking.

It also requires work on your part; this is not something learned overnight and takes years in the process. I have quit more times then I would like to mention, because is this worth the aggravation when people don't want to hear the truth, or rather like their unhealthy lifestyle of not having to take up the responsibility for their actions. You don't change the world, you change yourself, and your world changes, and we have even seen extremes of that, too.

I write because I have searched for books or even teachers, and no one speaks about the work involved, and I am not selling, that it is all light and love, because it is not on this planet. The truth part is that your soul is having a human experience in a body, and that whatever has happened to you, is not who you are, this is but one life of thousands, and you're here playing in this one you're current live in.

This a belief explanation, more involved with ancestor, and soul contracts, as there no one book explaining everything that your soul came to be or do.  

If there error's I had computer glitch, and decide not try rewrite what was already written. Still work AI corrections, when it is not as insightful and my thoughts. 

Doing this type of work is not about the way someone would, it is making your own. 

08/01/25 Intuitive infor.

 8/02/25

The expression- Right as rain- meaning completely well and healthy- Expression that someone uses, message?

8/03/25

Hearing the song  - Great balls of fire- maybe a message to someone.

8/05/25

Heard Art of Deception, The Art of War, which I wrote back in 2020, which can be found using the search bar.

Heard- Getting caught with their hand in the cookie Jar?

8/06/25

Hearing the song Ebony and Ivory - is it connected to singers, as well, we will have to wait and see.

8/07/25

I know that this has been out on the internet. I was reading something that had nothing to do with Trump. I saw a sign that Trump dies, and the President is dead. ?? A future event. I want to say natural causes.

8/08/25

Sleeptime - Earthquake New York, as I watched the floor and things shake around me.

I also got Atlantis with the above earthquake. Why? This is my thought only,  that it is because many souls who had previous lives may or may not get triggered by these events, because it is part of souls history and the collective. When they have to realized that those events are in a different spatial time of history and not part of events now. Not that there is a real spacetime, because everything exists at the same time. Only used on Earth. Much like a radio or our TV, by changing the channel or frequency, or even Youtube channel. You tune in to what you want to view or hear. edit I wrote space and time two separate entities. I am questioning the use of these two and changed it to spacetime as single point, which the use does not exist, if everything exist. 

8/10/25

Sleeptime: I am standing in front of a bus or mack truck, semi truck- with the words Little Big Girl, - I believe it is a message to someone.

heard: Hey, Hi Sis - this is male - this had no physical name, just Sis, and this is only for whose brother referred to her by Sis only.  Never referring to her by her first name. Like: hey Sis, ok Sis, where are you going Sis, My Sis can’t be a pain in the butt, etc.

The name - Katya, Kat'ya - I heard as it was being spoken with a Russian Pronunciation. I have gotten this same name back on 9/23/22. Maybe it is connected, not sure. Can be looked up as Katya in the search bar.

I heard this to this morning to idiom: Give someone enough rope to hang themselves.

Song - Hit Me with Your Best Shot- Pat Benatar- (this may be a message too

08/04/25 A goal that I met

 Beyond all the weirdness in my life, when I started this blog years ago. I set a goal of one million words

So today I met that goal. Goals don't have to be so abstract that they are not, impossible. It may not be like walking on the moon, but it is my moon.

1,009,538 total words analyzed by Grammarly

7/31/25 Things I been asking the Guides about

The following is my experience. I am writing this because there is so much misinformation, and when teachers tell you not to listen to your thoughts, or that it is you, you tend to get lost. This is even more so for a child and then as an adult to clear blocks or stuff that you have hidden from yourself to feel safe in a world that is so divided, and has been for a long time. As I am trying to figure out why people can't remember their gifts, as they are a part of you, and as natural as breathing and how I am suppose to help myself and then other people. With the following things that have happened over the last few days, that I hope to make sense by writing them down, about what seems like choppy writing.

So this morning, I flew into my body at hyper speed, while I watched all around me things pass by me, call it a tunnel, or I am not even sure, at this point. Beyond the fact that I could not see everything that was coming by me, I saw for a brief moment a child on a grassy mount, and a hand floating by in a plastic zip bag. I questioned whether this is something or a metaphor. Upon waking, I'm beside myself, and I am like Why am I seeing this. This has nothing to do with me. Along with the speed of coming back into the body.

This is not the first or last of these things that I see of things in my sleep, which of course rattles my reality to the core. This has always happen to me, I see things and my mind can't understand why it has happened. Now, just imagine your child and this happening to you often enough, you're questioning it. If you’re like me, you did not have a person or people who believed you, and often dismissed you or told you were crazy or wrong, it is your imagination or even vulgar to make you feel stupid.

I have spend countless hours reading and listen to other people stories and have yet to find someone who experiences the same things or just validates my experience. This is one of the reasons I started this blog to validate for myself that I am not crazy or dissociative by the medical system we currently have available, when in reality, there are other avenues, indigenous cultures that teach otherwise. I was asked by the guides why I don't have relationships in the way other people do. Which I stated I don't know, and why are you asking me, if you (the guides) know the answers? I realized by this event this morning, why I don't have more close relationships, and the answer is because no matter who I tell things to, they are not listening.

I even remember an event that happened, as a child, that I could not validate because I was too small to even cross the street, much less a major road. When you could not get validation even for yourself, regardless of other people's thoughts. With the same image would replay itself. You question things and reality. You learn very quickly not to say anything and even about things that personally happened to you, because no one is actually listening to you, or validating, much less comforting you from these experiences. I heard from the guides that people can't teach you what they don't know or understand. I stated what about you, referring to the guides. When I would call out for help, because of these two world that I seem to more or less walk between. Chirp, chirp from guides.

I have had three different things come up over the last few days that I said to people in the last six months. Then it happens, of course, I can not say something like Hey, did I not say that to you about yad, yada!  I had events play seven years after the fact. I don't know why it happens that way. This is why I stop engaging with people, because you get tired of fighting with people that can not see or hear, or anyone of the other Clairs' abilities that are not gifts but innate to everyone and every species on the planet.

My only thoughts are that because we are conditioned by society and linear space and time, and that we are taught it is moves on a straight line, when none of that is true. Another reason is that we are taught that we are not more than this body and spirit. That only chosen people, or the church, know that truth, and the rest of us are asleep to the fact. I understand that it is taught that way for a multitude of reasons. One, we can't understand it or the physics of it, because we agreed to forget, along with if we understand that everything is happening all at the same time, we would become fragmented and not focus on the present moment of the now. Which seems absurd since we are always doing multiple things at one time.

So in addition to my vision this morning, I have been filing complaints with the complex that I live in for several months, and last year, for a whole other crazy reason, I don't completely understand why I keep encountering years of trauma or observing, or witnessing these real-life situations. So my situation that I am encountering involves a child and their Mother, who is abusive, neglectful, and screaming and yelling, and she does not listen to the child. All of which I am very familiar with, since that is part of my story with two parents. Now, most recently, other than the constant and daily insanity of this, this mother was putting this child in the shower, and the child was screaming It's too hot. This went on for an hour of banging, yelling, and I finally had to leave my apartment, at which this is happening in an entire different apartment altogether.

Now, I am not the only one encountering these daily outbursts of the parent or child. I was told by the manager of my complex that maybe I need to see someone , after saying I can't take any more. I want to leave the planet, the insanity of it, and of this complex. At which point, I am explaining my frustration of the situation and venting.  When I indicated that the other apartment is wrong or their actions or behavior, but that I should see someone, where I explained that I should not have to see a therapist for my neighbor's behaviors and actions, to how does that even help when I am living next to this situation, which of course is not within my authority, other then move. As I am trying to clear my own stuff and what is mine and was taught, to what I kept hidden even from myself, to be able to function. To my trigger of abuse, neglect, and to be safe and be heard and seen, to actually be listened to.

This is now headed to six months of daily complaints. I also questioned why, to the guides, why am I enduring this? Why am I in this situation again? Why do I keep encountering these people who have no desire to actually change their lives? I also stated this, because a prior incident that involved calling the police, whereas the police stated that it was a apartment complex problem and they really could not do anything unless there a physical harm or altercation, and observed problem, which of course, by the time they show up has stopped, or quieted down, until the next time, which normally in the same hour or repeatedly in the same day. While another tenant was assaulted with a weapon and charged with aggravated assault for protecting herself against the other person involved, who initiated the attack. This is, of course, is are backward legal system. Something I have my own encounters with.

In my own history, which was prompted by the child yelling, a memory of my brother, who was burned at age two in an incident that should have never happened. I remember the scream that came from him as a child. This involved boiling water that he climbed up to the stove in another room. I was not in the room or nearby. Now, I am sure if I may have just realized, that I was blamed or carry the blame, for not being aware of not watching him or knowing where he was, because in reality I was only 11 at the time. It was always placed on me that I was supposed to watch over my sibling, even when there was an adult in the home or not. So the above shower incident with the neighbor reminded me of that incident that I never spoke about, or was dealt with, because nothing was ever addressed or spoken about; it was always a closed matter without ever doing anything about anything, or the assurance of safety. (choppy, I am trying to connect dots)

Years ago, there was another incident that involved a sibling, and my mother said why did you not say anything. I point blank, said you would not have believed me, and I left it at that and walked away from her. Eventually, later for 10 years, until two days before she passed. This is what I learned: that no one listens to me. Now, I am older and really don't care if you listen to me or not. I don't do this for anyone, except myself, because of years of family trauma and abuse, and more after I was awakened after the birth of my son, and all the people who did nothing or left me alone, to figure it out on my own. I think my life has always been traumatic and spiritual from the beginning.

All I have are these written documents that explain my life, even if it is just to explain it to myself. People forget that things of paranormal or of spiritual conversation have only been with us, the last 20 years or so, and with the creation of the internet for a larger scale. Yes, it has always been here, far less known without the internet. Unless you know that you need the information or are seeking the information, it is out of most people's awareness. This is why functioning in the 3d world versus 5D, multiple realities, galactic and interdimensional is very difficult, because there is still limited information to most, to the masses, and then there is, whose truth is truth, what truth is correct, all or none of it.

When you read enough books, which of course are other people experiences and I of course challenge them with the guides, as if we are sovereign being, master and the creator's, and the teachers that are available of which is not always affordable or available to most (arguably this could be a belief in lack, soul contract/blueprint/karma) etc., whatever.  

Many teachers will tell you it is a belief of yours, or you are the creator, without explaining that you may have a soul contract that is not about obtaining abundance in the way that we are taught about, by so-called teacher's out there. When everything that you are is abundance, as well as health, food that you choose to eat, the relationships that you have, and whether your beliefs about yourself are true, or open to change. This reminds me of a statement that I heard, You get the Love that you think you deserve. Which is a fallable statement, for one, most people have no idea what a soul contract is or the blueprint of what your soul chose to learn in this lifetime. That would help you understand the various experiences. Even the bible speaks of polarity experiences, and many Master teachers chose to seek out these questions, answers, and understand this. Some by studying, physical experience by leaving a life behind, and again to seeking the deeper meaning of life.

I also challenge and ask the guides, if you're still spending time following someone after 20-30 years of your time and your money, which is energy and abundance at the same time, what are you learning? How I  understand that it is not possible to be enlighten to master level in one lifetime, because normally (assuming) that like a soul being, this is life- times of coming back again and again because it is not possible to explore all of various realities at one time, when we can't explain simultaneously and parallel realities (mandela effect), which is that we are much less moving daily between or moment to moment, between realities depending on the choices we make. Do I absolutely understand it, nope. The guides will show me things, and I am like my real life is as unstable as the weather.  Then it down-poured as I wrote this, and I forgot that my windows were open and my car now has water in it. This would be a questions that I would say to the guides, What is that about? And wait for the answer to show up, and why not say something to me? You hear me because I hear you.

This is why I am writing this now, is that when you listen to any teacher and they are not explaining to you or given clear guidance to do your own shadow work or meditation and coming up the same problems, which I keep having the same problem for a very long time and same patterning over and over and your directed to a ritual, or elaborate meditation, to ask the guides for answers, that does not come, and feel your on the wrong planet or wrong bus to nowhere land. As in myself and my experiences, going back over twenty-some years, and maybe it was planet alignment crap within my birth chart, which may or may not hold true.

At some point, you realize that other people may not have the answer and just live with what is, or fall into a trap that it is always you, per se, because again that teachers will say it is something with you, a projection, a belief, and resonance of your vibration that attracts people around you. I don’t believe that your always mirroring something about yourself in that way, to just reflect back to a you a polarity of you, because that would be its own mind trap of something is always wrong about yourself, we're always moving between polarities.

Most teachers are not dealing with people in the way that most of us are, or with people on the planet. So to constantly say and tell you that it's you versus the planet, or reality, or a much bigger game of hide and seek with yourself, is just as much about the polarity that we live in. And can we start teaching the right way? Is my statement.

What I write here is not channeled, or maybe it is; it is my experience and my life. I write about it, firstly, I don't want people to think that they are crazy or not feel listened to, as I have my entire life. (This is redundant from the earlier statement; maybe it shows that this is not as easy as cutting and editing a video.)  Even as I live in the most absurd things around me, this can not be all of my projection, and what hell am I really teaching other people and learning, because I can't explain the craziness to myself, in hopes that someone else can even begin to understand what I've seen or experienced.

When, of course, people, videos, books, and TV only show a very limited view of it. This is not even going galactic or dimensional, which is stated as something out there, separate from you, but you at the same time.  I hope this is makes sense after this morning and a lot of days recently, and I am like, can you ground me somewhere and clear enough of my field, so I am not flying off planet, like a spinning ball on a string, out to never, neverland.

Then again, a teacher would say go ground, meditate and I am like can you go pee for me because moving in my apartment next to mother who is playing the forgetting game of soul in human body is terrorizing her child - that could be a soul contract or large scale about the wars, wars against humanity, war with each of us, against each other, or simply yourself. As in your microcosm is a reflection of the macrocosm, and the wars out there are wars within you. Which I seem oddly part of me within me.

I do and try to make these writings 500 words or less, but again, if you can't find 5-10 mins to integrate something, which at this point has been about at least 8+ hours of my time. Then, well, the question becomes, if I (as in you reading this) have these abilities that would help your life, why don't I have access to them? And I am like, guides, I just don't know anymore what I am doing here, am I offering a different perspective, or perception?  I feel like a mediator between worlds, or what hell did I sign up for? The guides gave me word I could not say it, it like seminary, missionary, which is more biblical connotation. I am ok, what the pickle.  

As I am writing this, Grammar AI has changed the way that it does things,  and AI wants to actually change my expression of the material or writing to be more like AI versus myself. Yes, there will be errors and grammar issues and sentence structure,due to the amount of trauma-related issues that I had and ongoing spiritual things happening. There is nothing I can do to fix it and just as I work through it, nor would I know how to at this point, when I feel like two different people. This is what AI actually said: The text is deeply personal and honest, but it may be difficult for readers to follow and lacks clarity. ??? ME: It is like landing in Bumble Ruck and saying How did I get here.

Side note of thought, when you wonder why people are the way they are: As an example, why things are happening and when it is going to change, Change is individual and outward to the whole planet. I will use myself as an example; I would not have looked into anything spiritual, had someone not said something to me. As for the child next to me, one of many, that I have seen or observed, let's just say 20-30 years down the road, they show up as negative attributes, criminals, addicts, narcissists, psychos, homeless, control issues, etc. All without ever questioning for themselves because we don’t ask the questions of ourselves to get answers, to then grow up in whatever conditions that were in the our earlier years and into adult experience, we are relearning or reliving those same beliefs again, without questioning it for y/ourself, and if you are like me and have been receiving the answers by other people, for the entirely of your life, as to how the world works, and told well that is just how things work in this world.

As I recently encountered by someone, when they projected that it's the schools fault for her kids did not learning how to problem solve or resolve personal issues, removing herself from the responsibility of thinking, guiding her children, and that it is someone else's problem to fix.

*This is what I heard her say, beyond what is stated above: Which is, of course is placing blame on the system that we have agreed to come into and challenge it, by not taking responsibility for being part of the problem and change. Let's leave it to someone else to fix it. I can’t be personally responsible for my beliefs, behaviors, and actions with my children and educating them, it is a God issue, it a church issue, it is government issue, it is corporation greed and the laws maker who have the problems to solve it, or whatever nonsense we use to denied our self of our own sovereign rights, and I walked away saying to myself, saying Okay, good luck with that thought or thinking, because you just showed that you are not open to change or your thinking, muchless the possibility that things can be different.

This is where one is "reigning" your own free will over to outer conditioning, instead of owning your sovereignty, and not giving your power away to an outside force, which is the direct opposite of who we are. It is like me telling you who you are, versus you remembering for yourself who you are.

If you don't question your beliefs, "as what was taught to me", do I still believe it, do I believe this because I want to be loved, or approval, acceptance, to fit in, etc!

This is where the think tank question came into play, from a previous post. I asked if you could destroy a person with energy if you have enough focused energy on it. Now, most people have felt someone was around them, walked by, or watching them. Felt someone standing over you. (And not about tracked technology). I raised this question not for the polarity of it, but my aim was that you can, or if enough people focus on a different reality that you can create change.

** 

8/02/25 What the hell?

So I am watching a video where someone is talking about psychic gifts, and I am like, I can't watch this any longer. Because it has been one thing after another for over twenty years. Not that I had strange things happen before, but people speak about like it is this wonderful things and a blessing in hindsight. I am like, your fricking kidding me. As I am saying, what the hell guides, I've done books, events, and lectures with people who have passed on, and now all these other people, where is this going?

Most days, I don't want anything to do with it because it took over my world, destroyed my life, and my family. Put me in situations fending for myself and to feel safe and protect my children, who were either taken from me or I was forced to put out or chose to again become homeless again. To be able to continue living and have some safety around. All because I did not have people around that supported me or believe in me, much less protected me.

This opened all the things that happened as a child and into adulthood and what seems to be a living nightmare of people around me, even now. I was assaulted and attacked by my family, the person who introduced me to the fact that I was a walking psychic left and said things that only maybe a 3rd were true. I would be knocked out by the energy, or see things that I don't understand, even now it happens, and I stopped writing some of them down because I don't know what it is or how to explain it, yet even understand what I am seeing. This entire blog has been written around the destruction of my life, and I have given up a home, relationship, cars, jobs, a two-custody battle with the county court, the Supreme Court, and a lot of darkness.

This does not include prior crap of involving my near abduction, exposed to as a child by the same person who tried to take me and told me he kill my mother, me along with my family, sexualized by boys and men, taken advantage when I been drinking, or freezing in the moment with encounters that people thought I had some interest in them and I was what is happening and going along with it to get the hell of the situation for my well being. A Speed chase with someone, where I had to drive to the police station before they backed off, and someone chasing me as a young teenager in a campground that I used to go to. Friends assaulted me in primary school, and as a teenager, with a ball and nails in it. 5200.00 worth of damage to the car I owned. Another person stole my car and left it in a bad area , then told me six months later he didn't want to walk, so he stole my car. Car accidents, endless near accidents, even as of today. The list is endless. The things I saw or seen people do to kids, even now. I have seen animals that have more compassion than some humans. I was recently asked by the guides if I speak for the children, and I said You're kidding me, and are you trying to kill me because all of this is floating around my mind with nowhere to file, and you want to do what exactly?

People ask me to write a book about what planet hell, and people who have no idea what they are doing. Even now I have no idea what is going to happen to me, I have over 20 years applied for 1000 jobs, to again encounter psycho people and have to constantly fend them off or quit my job because the stress of dealing them creates health issues in my body and when I question this and Teacher's out there on youtube are your attracting this based on belief. I like your on something, because I understand I came into a dysfunctional family by agreement or not, but I cannot be projection for over 50 years of my life and be psychic as a child with guidance and still encounter these things. I not mention the Et’s or UAP's or any of the things that are normal to me at this point.

Even with what is hell is wrong with these people! For the longest time, I didn't put or ask for protection around me, and now I do multiple times a day or go only where I need to go, because just driving on the road is like taking your life in your hands, when people don't stop so you can turn on a road. I went to the store yesterday, and there was a woman visibly drunk and buying more alcohol, and no one stopped her or questioned whether she was sober or to then get in a car and drive on the highway. I am like I waiting until she gone because I can't stop her or the numerous accounts of this or people do drugs in plane sight and that health system that drugged my child, telling me he could function in the system and gave him a dose that meant for adult, and they wanted to drug me when I went to the therapist tried explaining my life, all to function in society and get a job.

Let's talk about the therapists for a moment, because I sat with a number of them, and not even discussing spiritual stuff with pretty much none of them. When did we normalize that ok to take one’s child or two, in my case, and that I spend years taking care of and providing for them to give them a life, and because a Judge with no training in family, or child psychology has the right to decide who the child live with while breaking the laws to justify not one life, but three and the therapist’s also have no real training to handle the complexity or even navigate it, because they have no children, never own a home, or only interning for their degree, and not legally qualified and of course is being paid by stipend, that no vested interest by the ethics of profession that tells them so. And at some point there is a management change, insurance change, and there off working somewhere else for more money, better bosses, better hours, etc.  Maybe I should tell you how a snake of an attorney tried to use a social media account in court against me, without due cause, taking a picture of it, when my account was public and not private. It is private, now. 

Then there is this blog, which I agreed to do, because I felt the true Channeling of the guides was helping people to understand, not realizing that I was not just a vessel for delivering it, but actual lessons, which have since stopped, and now I am getting psychic and intuitive stuff, and I am what is happening. All of which is supported by me, and yes, not always well written. I do my best with what I have on hand, and honestly, it's very frustrating to feel like I keep saying the same things. When I am questioning what about moving out of this complex of which feels like an institution, and why am I here! Where is the help and support or what is my next move is and because of all these things that happened and would anyone actually want to be around me, because I would want to live my own life looking from the outside of me.

Some days I think my soul is trying to kill me off, yet I am still here with all this nonsense and topping it of is that I can't do individual reading even by phone, because just been years of either family stuff, ex stuff, shelter's, courts, housing, job and cars, financials and currently what I thought was old creepy guy or who had real bad social skills to telling him to stay the f away from and your wanker of creepy men that you date. Oh, let's not forget the endless apartment of psychos who, for all intensive purposes, traumatize her child, age four, every day, and I like what the f is happening and why I am over, and over again have to dredge up every trauma again and again, because I find myself around these people.

To me, asking every day what is it that I am doing and what is the purpose of all this. What I am teaching or learning, in my very crowded mind, I am like, what is going on, and why is it happening? This is not even about the conditions in the world; this is just what surrounds me. I am like, what planet am I on, because I am walking around thinking, is this what the future is looks like your looking at ants running around and no real awareness of what they're doing.

I am like you want me to go public, I struggling with what is and just what is going to be in the next 4 months, when I again I have figure out where is the money coming from and why do I keep doing this work and either a real job unfolds or this spiritual side, and I question is everyone business to be broadcast for anyone knowledge or benefit of what exactly. As well as me writing this, and people who have known me, are reading this, like ok. I am questioned, can I be legally responsible for writing without name-dropping?

Today, I realize that I may or may not have access to the copies of everything that I have written since the beginning of the blog, because we don’t modify the programs. We change them altogether, leaving people like me on how to access them to edit them. Can I get off the circus wheel, because I don’t like heights anymore! Can I please go be in a pasture with cows, they seem less challenging, and the point of all this is?

I keeping hearing to post this. I have others written too. They will seem redundant after this one. 

8/01/25 Intuitive Hits from the end July

These have no date other than the date I got them. I have things happen in a day or seven years out.  

7/24/25

Heard - Gene editing? Changes to the DNA

7/25/25

As I woke up and guides were speaking or someone was speaking to me, a male said something about a boat, a girl's name, Lily, and how she apparently drowned. and that it was an accident that she drowned, either fell off the boat, which caused her drowning. (This is when Texas was hit with rain and floodwater, girls from the camp) I don't know if it's a connected or separate incident.

7/27/25

Hearing Mass hysteria, as an illness that does not really exist, will no infection agent for a contagion.

7/28/25

Hearing Something happenstance- refers to something that occurs by chance or accident, like a random act.

I saw, actually, I was trying to read a name, and at the same time I heard De La Hoya? The Boxer ? My Spanish is very limited. I will still get spirit trying to come through, and when they are in spirit, they can speak any language they want. There are no language barriers on the other side. Most of the time, they do not say anything else after I have told them they can speak English, or  maybe they don't believe people can hear them, which is odd in itself, because apparently, they are trying to say something.