Someone asked me why I have a police phone number near my front door. I have a police telephone number by my door because I don't feel safe and don't trust people. All the physical attacks and assaults by people that I actually know/knew or were friends with, at some point have me never turned off. I am constantly on alert, even when it is just people's words because I have seen people snap with just a snap of the fingers. Multiple times I considered getting a license to carry a gun. I have even raised my fists in self dense with my children when they came at me for fear of physical harm.
In spirituality, they say nothing can harm you. Well, that might be true for the part of us that is not here on the planet. To me it is real and very visceral, meaning even your intention of actions of physical harm or words will have me step back because you have created the energy around you. This is why people will say they don't like he/she's vibe or energy, or that person and a different person may have different experiences with that same person. It is not that anything is wrong with you or them, it is how differently you experienced the energy. Some of us have a higher adaptability to read energy (not sensitivity) because the word choice of sensitivity infers that something is wrong with you as negative, when it is a natural state. When adaptability means to adjust. Not like half people in the world are walking around dead to their emotions.
This is not from one incident, this is repeated trauma from a young age. Some people use to consider me quiet or shy, which I can be, but more so it is me feeling the energy or watching and observing who a person is until they really show who they are. I use to have a professor who by walking in his classroom barked at you from when he was a marine, next day purr's like a kitten. Because he knew how to project his energy to let people know to stand back and if you were not serious about learning get out of his class. He knew his time and energy were valuable and energy when he needed too.
I have not completely mastered that power, maybe because mine has been physical, mental, and sexual going back to as early as 2.5 years old, during which I observed under hypnosis at session and helped explained repeat patterns in my life. I understand them to also be past life pattern that comes forth to heal again and past lives are concurrently occurring in the present the only difference is a timeline. Just like everything orbits around the sun everything else does so to, including your incarnation or reincarnation.
Beyond writing about what comes to me. I have been trying to clear this trauma and fear caused by what I do and what has happened in my own life. This is why I don't have a youtube channel or go public other than this writing. This is why I study as much as I do because I want to be released from what others have done to me and the system that tells me I am wrong, or it is my mind from what these people have done to me.
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